Really, the only reason anyone would want to play for the Knicks would be to maximize your endorsement opportunity in America’s largest television market. Carmelo Anthony–fresh out of his baby blue Denver uni–isn’t the only one taking advantage of this. His wife, La La Vazquez, is lining up prospects of her own.

La La Vazquez, whose last reality show “La La’s Full Court Wedding” chronicled her extravagant wedding to Anthony, will star in a new VH1 reality show, “La La’s Full Court Life.”

“I’m just glad to be back home,” the Brooklyn-born Vazquez said. “[It] feels like I’m in a dream.”

–HuffPo.

The show is slated for ten episodes, which sounds about nine and a half episodes too long. “Hey, look at all my money. Carmelo’s on a road trip in LA and he’s totally not cheating on me! Girls, let’s get our hair did!” The end. I’ve seen Shake Weight commercials longer than that.

English soccer legend Gary Lineker celebrated his 50th birthday on Tuesday with his second wife and his son and probably other people, but none of them mattered because LOOK AT HIS WIFE! But as much as I’d love the story to be about Danielle Lineker’s awesome boobage, there’s an even more fitting story making the rounds about this futbol star, who leads England with 10 career World Cup goals.

Apparently while playing in England’s opening round match of the 1990 World Cup against Ireland, Gary, a striker in her majesty’s service, pooped his Umbros. Now let’s take a piece of two-ply and wipe that “apparently” away, because there is outstanding video footage of the act in question, accompanied by Gary’s testimonial of when he was sliding into Liverpool and he felt a quiver stool… diarrhea. God, I miss being six-years old.

After the jump, you can check out the year’s best video involving an athlete pooping himself and wiping it on the ground, as well as – you guessed it! – a more detailed look at Danielle Lineker…

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Anyone who’s anyone on the internet knows that Wikipedia isn’t a legitimate news source. Unfortunately, some sucker writer in Florida never got the memo. A Wikipedia page reported that religion aficionado Tim Tebow helped New York Yankee All-Star outfielder Nick Swisher propose to his then-girlfriend-now-fiancee, JoAnn Garcia. That was a good enough source for our Floridian friend, who called Swisher to see if these “reports” were true. Let’s just say that Swisher was less than pleased to comment.

Some clown wrote on Wikipedia that Tim Tebow helped Nick Swisher propose to actress JoAnna Garcia by speaking to her parents and being present during the proposal. A writer in Florida asked Swisher about it over the weekend. “What?!” I’m a man! I don’t need to do that! Where’d you hear that?” That’s when the writer, Peter Kerasotis, said he saw it on wikipedia. “Dude, you’re in the media. You know better than to believe Wikipedia … That’s total BS! (Bleep) no! I don’t need some other dude to ask my girl to marry me. I’m a Major League Baseball player. I’m a man. I asked her on the balcony at my place in New York City. Tim Tebow wasn’t there. You need to squash that story, dude.” –The Big Lead

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When you’re an international hockey superstar whose hardest decision is which group of babes you’re going to party with tonight, what else is there for you to do? What’s the next medium you can conquer? How will people remember you, outside of your incredible ice moves? Alex Ovechkin has been plagued by such a circumstance, and has found the answer. Getting in the studio and recording a track for your smoke-show girlfriend.

Alexander Ovechkin recorded a song for his girlfriend, along with the artist Dzhigan of Black Star Inc. Russia’s forward wants to be a star not only on the ice. Very soon a real surprise is awaiting the true fans of hockey and the fans of rap. [In Soviet Union, song raps you. -Ed]

It is unlikely that the song that was co-created with artist Dzhigan of Black Star Inc. will appear on live radio, but hopefully it would seep into the internet.

The best hockey player is not giving the name of a lucky girl to whom he devoted his premiere creation, the 24-year-old hockey player only said that at this time it’s “all very serious.” –Alex Ovetjkin via Washington Post

Alex is a little late on coming out with the 2010 jam of the summer, but I’m still counting down the days until this track debuts. Only because I want to hear the track in Russian. Much like German, whenever someone’s speaking in Russian, it sounds like you could very easily get killed. That’s why Russian women sound so seductive. Death is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

After all of the hubbub surrounding the presence of the wives and girlfriends of Team England’s players at the World Cup, those blokes probably could have used some extra buggering with their sexy birds. But after their 4-1 thrashing at the hand of the Germans, the British players and their clearly intelligent and charismatic WAGS returned home to face the scorn of their disappointed nation.

Unfortunately for the WAGS, their vacations in South Africa were quite short-lived. By order of English coach Fabio Capello, the sexy dames weren’t allowed anywhere near their husbands and boyfriends during the group match play, mainly because of the distractions caused by Abigail Clancy (to the sexy right) at the 2006 World Cup. The sophisticated ladies all obeyed this order, and for their selfless efforts they all spent about one day in South Africa, if that. Those poor, hard-working beacons of independence. However will they live?

Marry me for love and not fame, Daily Mail:

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–via Chicago Tribune

Soccer players have been notorious for having some of the hottest WAGs in the world, but they usually don’t need help from Facebook. Chicago Fire defender Krzysztof Krol was crowned the grand master of Facebook when he recently started dating Playboy model Patrycja Mikula. How did he score such an awesome date? He got her phone number off her Facebook page. Take it from here, Puppet LeBron.

And here I was, thinking that looking for love on the internet was for pederasts and ugly people. The two Poles certainly made me look stupid, when they were married at Chicago’s City Hall earlier this week.

Fire defender Krzysztof Krol called the phone number on Patrycja Mikula’s Facebook page in May even though he’d never met the Playboy model. Less than two months later, Krol and Mikula were saying “I do.”

The Polish couple got married on Thursday at Chicago’s City Hall, seven weeks after they began dating. They plan on having a church wedding in Chicago in December after the Major League Soccer season. –The Chicago Tribune via Sports Illustrated

Call me old fashioned, but marrying a girl you’ve only known for seven weeks has to be one of the worst ideas of all time. Although, if I was playing in the MLS, I wouldn’t be comforted knowing that she wasn’t going out with me for the money. I don’t think the guys on Real Salt Lake could swing the VIP booth at Applebee’s. The article also explains how the two have already gotten their significant other’s name tattooed on their left arm, and how Patrycja’s ex is former UFC Heavyweight Champion Andrei Arlovski.

Normally, marrying your seven week girlfriend you met on Facebook, who happens to be the ex-lover of guy who beats the shit out of people for a living, would be a questionable life decision. Not when the girl in question looks like this. Then it’s probably the best idea of all time. She should consider modeling Bad Idea Jeans, but thinking of good ideas for Bad Idea Jeans makes my head hurt. Their first ad campaign after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »