The 2012 Summer Olympics Are Already Ruined

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.28.12

I’ve always agreed with the popular belief that the Super Bowl should be regularly held in San Diego or Miami, because the weather is awesome and people would enjoy it more. Along the same brilliant lines of logic, I also believe that the Summer Olympics should always be held in places like Brazil, Brazil or Brazil, because…

*whistles, points up, winks*

Unfortunately, some Debbie Downers out there not only disagree with me about locale, as the 2012 games are in London, but now they’re also firing back at the best part of women’s volleyball – bikini wedgies.

Under new rules adopted by the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB), players are free to wear shorts and sleeved tops. The governing body said the move was made out of respect for the cultural beliefs of some of the dozens of countries still in contention to qualify for the games.

“Many of these countries have religious and cultural requirements, so the uniform needed to be more flexible,” FIVB spokesman Richard Baker told The Associated Press on Tuesday. (Via the HuffPo)

Look, I’m a modern dude, so I’m hip to the religious and cultural importance scene. So I’m here to offer you a deal, International Volleyball Federation. For every one female athlete that covers up, one has to wear less. Like, if America’s Logan Tom wanted to, she could totally dress like this…

Read the rest of this entry »

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What The Hell Is Going On

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.05.12

Sepak TakrawThere are a lot of sports in the world, ranging from those that require top-shelf physical skill (marathon running, pro football against the New Orleans Saints) to sports you can sorta perform involuntarily (curling, the luge).

Apparently the “wide wide world of sports” isn’t wide enough for some people, as natives of the Malay-Thai Peninsula have combined soccer, tennis, volleyball and I’m pretty sure hacky sack to perfect the sport of sepak takraw. I’m sure some of you have seen it before and will be all, “way to be cultured, Brandon, snoot snoot”, but no, I’ve never seen this before and it feels like they should be wearing wooden helmets and performing in the background of The Lion King. I think the best part of the video is that it takes place on FASHION ISLAND.

From the Wikipedia entry for sepak takraw:

Similar games include footbag net, footvolley, football tennis, bossaball, jianzi and sipa. These similar games all involve keepie uppies.

Yeah, that clears it up. Thanks, Wikipedia. I would’ve called the keepie uppies “chazzwazzers”.

[h/t Fark Sports]

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Man Arrested For Filming Volleyball Slumber Party, Was Not Wearing With Leather Shirt

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.13.12

Obligatory With Leather women's volleyball image.

What started as a simple case of a pervert trying to get his freak on has turned into a life-ruining experience for one Seattle husband. Steven Meeks is facing one count of voyeurism after a girl on a high school volleyball team discovered a camera in the bathroom that her and her teammates were using during the night of a slumber party last November.

Even worse for Meeks is that his wife is the volleyball team’s coach, so I imagine she will be hiring a lawyer to bump, set and spike half of his assets in the near future. That is, unless she falls for his incredibly solid excuse.

Meeks told police that he placed the camera in the bathroom for his sexual gratification, according to probable cause documents. He said that his intentions were to spy on a female co-worker who he knew would be using the restroom on Monday, but he said he was aware of the slumber party and that the girls would be using the bathrooms.

(Via KIRO TV)

Man, this dude has got to be the biggest dipsh*t in the history of perverts. I can just picture the interrogation now:

Cop: “Let me get this straight, you scumbag – you not only set up the camera to spy on a female co-worker…”
Meeks: “Oh yeah.”
Cop: “But you also knew that a high school volleyball team would be using this bathroom, too?”
Meeks: “Oh, definitely. No doubt. So what now, do we high five?”

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Report: These Women Are F**king Amazing At Volleyball

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.11.12

What you’re watching is either a volleyball match between Chinese Women Volleyball TianJin and Army or one of those Powerade commercials where they CGI the ball to make it look like Michael Vick is throwing a football out of a stadium.

This video comes to us from Reddit by way of With Leather editor emeritus Matt Ufford, who labeled his e-mail to me “holy sh*t!” and suggested moving your cursor away from the video playbar so you don’t know when the play is going to end. It’s awesome, and a great contrast to my personal volleyball memories, which are me in gym class standing still while the ball drops in front of me and then suddenly figuring out I was supposed to hit it.

Burnsy’s reaction was almost as good as the video itself:

Was that the dad from Hangover 2 not caring for their ability to win immediately?

disapproving-asian-dad

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Urban Meyer’s Daughter is Hot and Breaking News

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.27.11

growl

Urban Meyer’s foxy volleyball daughter Nicki has lashed out at her own smart phone over talk that her famous father is headed to Columbus take over as head football coach at Ohio State. Nicki, who is pretty famous for platonically hugging Tim Tebow all the time, posted the following message on her Twitter.

tweet tweet

That’s what I’m tlking abt. Rumors and conspiracy theories have been running rampant all month, and college football commentator and flatulence-free food advocate Beano Cook exasperated the speculation with a prediction of the move during an interview on ESPN radio on Thursday. Neon Deion Sanders, who is in that header picture for some reason, could not be reached for comment.

For more information about Nicki Meyer, you can check out her Twitter, her Georgia Tech volleyball bio, or you can just turn around and talk to Chris Hansen, who is standing like four feet behind you.

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Mom Pulls Gun On Volleyball Team. Whoooooa ACE!

Written by JOSH Z / 09.10.10

pregnant chick with gunFile this under Texas Being Texas: A currently-unidentified woman pulled a gun on a seventh-grade volleyball team last night. Fortunately, the only kills that came out of the evening occured during the game beforehand. Yep. You won’t get cutting-edge volleyball humor like that anywhere else.

School police are reviewing videotapes to try to identify the woman, who witnesses said threatened to shoot several members of the visiting Kirby team, Judson ISD spokesman James Keith said.

“The Kirby team had just won, and they were in the back parking lot near the gym when the woman approached,” Keith said, noting that the students were chanting and celebrating their victory. The woman “approached them, pulled a handgun, and threatened to shoot them,” he said. –San Antonio Express News, via our own Upstate Underdog.

The media report that the small woman remains at large. Of course she’s at large. Everything’s bigger in Texas.

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