He’s not technically a Baltimore Oriole anymore, but when the O’s disassociate themselves from you you’re an Oriole until proven otherwise. From an AP report:

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic (AP) Former major leaguer Vladimir Guerrero said he has surrendered to police after authorities contend he attacked a police officer in a disco. Guerrero denied being part of an attack.

Police said no charges have been filed against Guerrero following the mayhem in Nizao, about 40 miles from Santo Domingo.

Maximo Baez Aybar, a spokesman for the police in the Dominican Republic, maintained Guerrero “physically attacked” police officer Renato Pena Rojas after a brawl broke out in the disco. Baez Aybar asked that Guerrero turn himself in “so the case can be put in the hands of the justice system.”

Thanks to chatroom technology we can jump to the moment of the arrest and find out exactly what happened, pending my ability to remember Spanish. Today’s Opening Days Dugout (which was originally just the above picture with FLAGGERERRO written at the bottom) is after the jump.

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Well, this is surprising.  I can hardly believe I'm writing about A-Rod after a Red Sox-Yankees series.  But the $25 million slugger proved his worth last night, hitting his 20th home run of the season with two outs in the ninth to give the Yankees a 6-5 win.  His secret?  Tipping the bouncer $50 before he goes into the champagne room.

Actually, yesterday was a good day for drama throughout the major leagues.  Shane Victorino capped his own bobblehead day (yep, the one of him in a hula skirt) by hitting a walk-off homer to give the Phillies a 9-8 victory over the Giants.  Ryan Howard added a three-run blast for the Phils, and Barry Bonds did fucking nothing.  (Seriously, he didn't play.) And in Anaheim, Vladimir Guerrero hit a ninth-inning, two-run shot that erased Baltimore's lead and lifted the Angels a 4-3 win.

It feels very good, especially knowing what our guys did on the mound, to be able to pick them up," Guerrero said through a translator.

A translator?  Vlad has 350 career homers now — maybe it's time to learn the language, comrade.  Lousy loose immigration policies.  We need bigger walls AND an English test.  And that English test should be expanded to natural-born citizens, as well.  Anyone who fucks up your/you're should be deported.  Into space.