My favorite part of NMA World Edition’s recap of the rising violence in the NHL Playoffs should be players drowning each other, morphing into literal devils and damage-dealing penguins (!) or attacking one another with rocket shoes, but it isn’t — it’s the fact that I guess Taiwanese animation doesn’t have a pre-rendered hockey helmet in their clip art so they just gave everybody motorcycle helmets. That’s amazing.

So yeah, here’s the blood and guts report from our favorite, barely-talented journalistic savants. Come for the fans high-fiving each other for getting hit with body parts, stay for the child-on-child violence.

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Hulk Hogan made an appearance on Richard Bacon’s BBC radio show yesterday via telephone, and I just don’t know why we don’t let the Hulkster have a bigger say in handling the world’s problems. Bacon (mmmmmm) asked Hulk for his opinion on the ongoing riots throughout England and the answer was simply perfect.

“You know, it doesn’t really matter if Hulk Hogan’s over there body slamming all the youth like I did Andre the Giant but, at the end of the day, we need to grab these kids, shake them, and say ‘Stop. Regroup. Just look at yourself in the mirror. Is this what you want the mirror image of your life to be? Is this what you want your destiny to be?”

“Now it’s time to change directions. Even if the state has to step in and really focus on getting these kids back on track. But, you know what? I will do anything because I love my UK Hulkamaniacs.”

(Listen for yourself after the jump, brothers!)

There you go, the Hulk will do anything. Seriously, he’ll do anything you need him to do. Have you seen his divorce settlement? The Hulkster will also celebrate his 58th birthday tomorrow with the unveiling of his daughter Brooke’s nude PETA ad. I hope you already had breakfast.

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Normally when you hear about an eye witness of a violent crime being killed, the story involves a hitman and mob justice. In the case of Matthew Lee, a friend who attended that fateful Los Angeles Dodgers game with Bryan Stow, the only assassin was food allergies. According to the police, Lee died after ingesting nuts in a salad.

Stow, of course, is the Giants fan who was brutally beaten by a pair of gang bangers at Dodgers Stadium on March 31, and has since been in a coma and only recently opened his eyes. Two men are currently in police custody, as they have been fingered by their lady friends.

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Image via TMZ in case that's not clear.

Last week it was reported that eventual free agent running back Cedric Benson was arrested for beating up his roommate, Clavens Charles, after an argument on the street. As you can tell from the image above, “beating up” may be a tad understated. Regardless, Benson claimed that he acted in self-defense after the two started fighting over their living situation.

According to TMZ:

Clavens claimed he and Benson “began to talk and argue about their living arrangements when all of the sudden Clavens was struck on the left side of his face with a closed fist thrown by Benson.”

“Clavens went on to say that Benson continued to strike him with several more closed fists all over Clavens face resulting in severe injury to his face.”

Clavens told police he was experiencing “severe bleeding from the mouth, possible loss of teeth and massive swelling of the left cheek.”

I’ve had some pretty nasty arguments with my roommates in the past, but holy sweet fancy goodness, man. That’s some serious conflict resolution right there. Benson was released on $10,000 bail and the Cincinnati Bengals were quick to point out that he used to play for them and this was not their problem, despite the lockout and that whole not being able to talk to him rule.

Needless to say, Charles is suing for damages, and his lawyer claimed that he’s already racked up thousands of dollars in bills. Benson should be able to swing the fees, since there should be a team willing to take a chance on a solid RB with anger issues and a violent criminal past. So we’ll see Benson next year in… Cincinnati.

I’m not going to pretend to know the first thing about rugby. Back in college, I got super drunk with the women’s rugby team and that’s about the extent of my knowledge. I am, however, quite a fan of watching unnecessary sports violence, so I can declare with confidence that Northampton Saints wing Chris Ashton had his face rocked by Leicester’s Manu Tuilagi in a recent 11-3 Leicester win. Tuilagi received a yellow card for his aggression, but his punches at least marked the first time that the name Manu was associated with anything macho in sports.

Video after the jump, as well as some very special guest commentary on rugby.

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