For some reason, Vince Young’s attorneys are apparently telling everyone with ears that the former No. 3 overall draft pick is broke and desperate for work. According to the Houston Chronicle, the 2006 Rose Bowl star has blown through the $26 million in guaranteed money that he received 6 years ago, as well as whatever other money the two-time Pro Bowler has made over that time. And now, after he was most recently cut by the Buffalo Bills, Young is dumpster-diving for Ramen noodles.

In an increasingly caustic war of words, attorneys have been arguing for months over whether Young is an out-of-control spender who put himself deeply in the hole or simply a victim of inexperienced advisers, one of whom was his own uncle.

“I would just say that Vince needs a job,” said Trey Dolezal, Young’s attorney, when asked to give a general assessment of his client’s finances.

In the wake of the accusations that super agent Drew Rosenhaus has knowingly been pushing his clients to a scam artist disguised as an investment guru, this really isn’t surprising. But good lord, NFL players! At what point do you stop and say to yourself, “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t let my friend or family member who has ZERO investment experience handle my money”? Better yet, when do these teams and billionaire owners finally step in and finally stop letting these athletes Brewster’s Millions themselves?

In one of those rare occasions when Darren Rovell isn’t complaining about how ugly Playboy Playmates are and has actual interesting information to provide, Young would have had to spend $7,000 per day since he was drafted by the Tennessee Titans to blow $26 million. So Danger Guerrero and I tapped our brains and tried to think of some of the more awesome things that we would buy if someone gave us $26 million to throw away. You know, if we were Vince Young.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Philadelphia Eagles are going to be good. Anyone with a basic understanding of pro football could tell you that. The problem is that the one group of people who shouldn’t be telling you that is the Philadelphia Eagles themselves, and oh man, those guys cannot stop telling you how great they’re going to be.

Newly-arrived back-up quarterback Vince Young was the first to provide the team with the soundbites and complexly-arrogant sentences sports writers like me need to reference late in the season when a team is losing to someone who didn’t say anything. Via Philadelphia Sports Daily:

“Dream Team … From Nnamdi [Asomugha] to [Dominique Rodgers-]Cromartie, to Jason [Babin] to myself … I know they are going to do some more things. … It’s just beautiful to see where we’re trying to go.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, defensive end Jason Babin jumped on Twitter and gave the Eagles the official kiss of death.

I mean, at least the Dream Team won. The Tweet prompted 100+ responses, almost exclusively negative, ranging from the understanding “@JasonBabin93 except eagles will take the championship?” to the ready-for-Onion-Sportsdome “@JasonBabin93 do you mean only looks great on paper & can only play 3 quarters?” All we need now is for Michael Vick to push a sweatband up across the top of his scalp and humblebrag about how the Eagles are going to win not five, not six, not seven championships.

I swear, how hard is it to build a huge boat and NOT tell everyone you know that it’s unsinkable?

The NFL’s longest-tenured head coach is on his way out. Jeff Fisher, who was coaching the Tennessee Titans as early as 1994 (when they were still the Houston Oilers), is packing up his office.

According to an NFL source close to the situation in Tennessee, the move could be announced as early as Friday, although it’s uncertain if Fisher’s departure will be termed a firing, a resignation or a mutual parting of ways.

Though information about Fisher’s situation was scarce Thursday, it was confirmed by a league source that he will not return to coach the team in 2011, contrary to what was previously expected. Fisher was said to be in the process of negotiating the terms of his departure with Titans owner Bud Adams.

–SI.com.

Fisher turns 53 next month; he was due to make over $6 million coaching the Titans in 2011. Hmmmph. So instead of keeping either Fisher or his adversarial quarterback Vince Young, Titans owner Bud Adams seems to be casting both of them loose. This is just like that Shakespearean play where the one guy is really sad and then he endures a life-changing event, but then life still sucks. Which one was that again?

Moral of the story: Do not mess with Bud Adams, because he will F you right in your A.

Tennessee Titans quarterback (for now) Vince Young really is a double threat. Not only can he do ridiculous things, he can say them, too. Consider his comments in the wake of the team’s comments that they would either trade or cut Young before 2011, with my added emphasis:

“I’m going to go into [a new] organization, the team, and compete. That’s all I can do, and let them make their own decision after that,” Young said. “Definitely I am a starting quarterback, an elite quarterback in the NFL. I want to go ahead and start. But like it always is, the coaches have the last word.”

–Marcellus Wiley/ESPN via PFT.

That’s right, Vince. You’re an elite NFL quarterback. Just look at all those times that you started all 16 games in a season, or all those years you threw for 3,000 yards or more, or all of those playoff games that you won…Because that’s what elite quarterbacks do.

But you never did any of those things, Vince. No, your MO is to show up shirtless in clubs with other dudes and running out on your coach, to the point where he’s either calling the cops to make sure you don’t kill yourself or fetching your shoulder pads out of the stands. Great job, Vince. See you in Cincinnati’s training camp next summer.

When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on Candyland and Where’s Waldo?, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr. throwing like Jim Abbott’s niece. And the latest sports-related movie idea receiving a green light is the Madden Curse. That’s right, EA is making a movie about a running joke based on coincidence. Why not?

So is this film going to be professional football’s Final Destination, as some magical force stalks elite players, ending their careers in their prime? No. Not at all. Instead, it will focus on a retired video game champion. Seriously.

Specific details concerning the plot remain sketchy, but EA VP Pat O’Brien reportedly said, “The story will follow a former ‘Madden’ video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the corner of the game’s cover — and subject to the curse.” (Via Switched)

Hold on, the guy comes out of retirement because for some reason EA put him on the cover of Madden? The Madden Curse involves active players who have stellar, MVP-type seasons only to be injured the next season and never play at that elite level again. So why does the guy come out of retirement? Is he afraid that he’ll break his thumbs in a freak Call of Duty accident? Perhaps the main character could spend the entire film insisting that he’ll stay retired but then unretiring. And he can text a picture of his penis to Olivia Munn. Lord knows I’d like to.

A look back at the history of the Madden Curse after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

Vince Young had a light work day after being allegedly benched against Washington in their overtime loss Sunday. The Tennessee Titans quarterback arrived at the team’s training facility, and as Tyra Banks would say, he was SENT! HOME!

Young expressed frustration and was visibly upset, according to sources, but he eventually left without incident.

It’s just the latest in the saga between the quarterback and the franchise, which plans to place him on Injured Reserve because of a right thumb injury that needs surgery.

–The Tennessean, via PFT.

Titans owner Bud Adams And really, who would argue with a guy named Bud? I sure as hell wouldn’t.

UPDATE: From @TennesseeTitans on Twitter:

Yesterday, he was informed by a coach at the facility not to attend Monday’s team meeting and was free to leave. The intention was to be able to talk to the team about Young’s situation and how the team would move forward. Players that are on injured reserve are not required to attend team meetings. As of today, he has been placed on injured reserve and all the same rules apply to him as to any other player in that category.