Remember the young “Good Samaritan” Arizona Diamondbacks fan who selflessly gave a ball to a crying little boy who’d dropped it? Well, that kid has taken the next step toward officially becoming Quiz Kid Donnie Smith by appearing on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” alongside the whimpering little reprobate to continue receiving prizes and accolades for a common act of human decency that just so happened to be caught on camera. The boys (who sound like Harry Potter characters: Ian McMillan and Nicholas Goodfellow) got some We Say The Darnedest Things laughs from the studio audience and were given not only season tickets to the remaining Diamondbacks games, but Jimmy Kimmel “baseball hall of fame” plaques denoting them as “Kid Who Gave A Ball To Another Kid” and “Kid Who Was Given A Ball By Another Kid”.

Check out the video below, with a tip of the autographed bat to Big League Stew.

I’ve got to ask, if the Good Samaritan kid is the one who made the grand gesture, why does the crying kid keep getting applauded, too? Good Samaritan gets an autographed bat, crying kid gets a bat. Good Samaritan kid gets to be on TV and get gifts because he did something cool, so the crying kid gets to come along and get lumped in. People (including Kimmel) tell Ian how happy they are that good things are happening to him, but barely-conscious crybaby Nicholas is getting all those good things, PLUS he’s got a Rickie Weeks ball from that Diamondbacks game. Just watch them, Ian is smiling, Nicholas doesn’t give a sh**. Doesn’t seem fair.

I guess Ian’s big reward when all this is said and done is not having his 15 minutes of fame be “I was a little bitch once and got presents”.

Complex Magazine just put up an interview with and photo gallery of Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and Official Everywhere On The Internet poster girl Kate Upton, and despite my aversion toward animals as a food source I am undecided in my feelings toward animals as busty teenage modeling props, so I’m sharing it. Also, as the editor of a sports blog I am legally obligated to freak out every time this girl puts a new picture on the Internet. Legally obligated and gleefully cooperative.

Anyway, most of the interview reads like it might if Kate was filling out a middle school worksheet about barnyard life:

Have you milked anything before?
No, I have never milked a cow before. It was really cool. I told everyone I learned how to do it.

Would you do it again?
Yes.

But there’s one wonderful gem right at the end, and you shouldn’t miss it.

Read the rest of this entry »

This year’s X-Games added something called the “Moto X Enduro Women’s Division”, and on paper it sounds pretty cool. Women’s motocross could be awesome, right? Like when female skiers take off their helmets and they look like a hot, athletic Peppermint Patty with a labret piercing. Well, uh, the actual Moto X Enduro Whatever didn’t happen on paper, it happened on a big hill, and then on some rocks, and then down the side of a different hill. For some reason these women appeared to have NO F**KING CLUE what they were supposed to do and just crashed motorcycles everywhere. These are the highlights. The highlights. I don’t even know what they’re doing at some points. Why are you driving on those rocks?

Spencer Hall over at SB Nation has two workable theories, and I can’t come up with anything that sounds better.

The first is that the executives at ESPN are sexist 4chan commenters in disguise, and paid a group of retired ladies to don motorcycle helmets and bumble through this course while watching on the internet and laughing until they died. The other is that every woman here was required to get blind drunk before starting, and then do her best.

Here’s a link to the event set to Wacky Sax, in case the cold silence of humiliation wasn’t hilarious enough.

Something 1990s this way comes.

From Found Footage Fest emerges “It Ain’t Worth It!”, an abstinence-awareness PSA wherein the sports stars of the 90s explain the dangers of unprotected (and protected) sex in the most 90s way imaginable. You can watch the video below, but here’s a recap: David Robinson is playing a game of pick-up basketball and gets pissed off because his goofy white teammate is too busy looking at women (or “honeys”) to contribute. This prompts Robinson, A.C. Green and Barry Sanders (holding a basketball for some reason) to use rap music, a Trapper Keep aesthetic and what appear to be girls from “In Living Color’s” Fly Girl developmental league to inform teens that penis-to-vagina interaction can cause instant death and possibly explosions. I don’t know, they just really want me to not do it.

Watch the video yourself, then leave us a comment to explain whether you believe sexual intercourse is or is ain’t worth it.

All this video needed was a white kid who looks like he should be a part of the Burger King Kids Club saying “but I WANNA have sex!” and getting between a girl’s legs before he’s stopped by Garfield and one or more of the Ninja Turtles.

[prophylactic tip to Sportress of Blogitude]

My job as a sports blogger is to be snarky and judgmental about everything, but earlier today I posted a video of a grateful kid being happy about baseball so I might not have any idea what I’m doing. Looking around for stories to close out the week, I browsed through cheerleader slideshows and BMX failz until I came across Lily Anderson’s performance of the Star-Spangled Banner during Thursday’s “Rally Night” at Turner Field. She has cancer (stage 4 neuroblastoma) and received the longest standing ovation Braves reliver Peter Moylan has ever seen.

I thought to myself, “oh, this would be nice” and figured I’d close out the weekend with that, instead of the NASCAR lady who used to model bikinis.

And then I started looking for a picture for the header.

[Lily] thinks peace signs are really cool, loves turtles and playing with her friends. She loves to ride dirt bikes with her Dad, and looks forward to the weekly Sunday visits with her Grandma and Grandpa. Lime green is her very favorite color and as with most girls her age, clothes are really special; in fact she is often known by her nickname “Style Anderson.”

I browsed through her Facebook fan page to see if there were any high res pictures of her performing at the game. That’s sorta my job. I’ve been on the Internet a long time, and nothing really gets to me. I looked at her wall photos, and down at the bottom is a dimly-lit picture of her in a hospital bed, losing a little bit of her hair, holding a big sign that says “I made millions of stem cells!” She’s smiling so big, and it just sort of hit me, right in the middle of my chest, in the part of the heart that gets the brain’s credit for feeling the weight of things.

I typed something, then deleted it. Stared at the screen. Typed, deleted.

I’m not sure what I want to tell you. Just … show this video to people. “Like” her Facebook fan page, if that matters, and visit her website. Let her know goddamn stupid life is, and how awesome she is for being okay with it. I don’t know how to say it, but I want to, and am going to spend the rest of the day figuring out how.

Allow me to present to you reason no. 1,943,531 why chicks shouldn’t participate in sports (insert joke from The Simpsons here). But if they are going to play basketball, at least stick with the uncoordinated waist-high dribbling, slo-mo bounce passes and layups, not an attempt to climb up the back of your teammate for a, um, even better layup?

And yes, I know that this video has been making its way around the ‘tubes this week, but I am also aware that the average With Leather reader is only let out of their enclosure to play on the internet for an hour a day, and there is a good chance you haven’t seen it. Believe me, I know how that goes. It has only been one short year since I broke my rusty cage….and ran. Crap, I’m still trying to clean up all the blood.

The video is truly remarkable. Who knows what these gals were trying to accomplish, but we should thank “Kelsey” and her accomplice for their nonathletic efforts. One thing could improve the video, though: some “Yakety Sax”. Add a little video editing – some comical speeding up, slowing down and playing the video in reverse and you got yourself a hit right there. To my credit, I did try to do this myself, but after researching how much work that would entail (downloading video editing software, music, etc.), I became lightheaded, passed out and smacked my forehead on my desk. When I came to, yep, you guessed it: more blood to clean up.

(Thanks, Uff, Burnsy)