Here's another video from Old Rich People; this time it's a faux-documentary about the history of crazy athlete costumes that led to Clinton Portis's rise.  It's got some pretty solid Photoshop work, plus a guy pretending to be Finch from American Pie!  What a timely impersonation!  My friends and I were all talking about how much we loved American Pie just the other day.  We also discussed President Clinton's impeachment, and who looked like front-runners in the 2000 election.  Then we got in the time machine and came came back to 2007.  What a wild ride!

[Burly Sports] 

Well, since today seems like a good day to spew hate, here's a Ryan Parker song praising the existence of the Boston Bruins, the last remaining pro sports team in Boston that doesn't kick ass.  The Red Sox won the World Series, the Pats are 9-0, the Celtics are 5-0, and even the New England Revolution — that's a soccer team, I'm told — is appearing in its third consecutive MLS Cup final. 

Ugh, I can feel the smug pushing its way south.  It's like smog, but with a more annoying accent. 

[Ryan Parker Songs] 

The NBA season is just around the corner, and it looks more and more like the Lakers' Kobe Bryant is determined to Vince Carter his way into trade.  But lost causes are Ryan Parker's specialty, and in this video he begs for Jerry Buss and Kobe to work out their differences.  The song's all sincere and, like, semi-professional sounding, so it feels kinda weird posting it here.  Usually I just find some jackass in a Bears jersey playing the kazoo or whatever, so I'm sorry if you're disappointed.

(Hmmm… Note to self: find jackass in Bears jersey playing kazoo.) 

Well, I may not care about field goal records, but there's a Titans fan out there with a weird obsession for kickers, and his name is BradyFan83.  Here's his tribute to Rob Bironas and his game-winning, record-setting ways from last Sunday. A sample:

You're my little kicker boy, kicker boy / I would like to split your uprights, Bironas / You make me forget the rest, forget the rest / I love seeing your balls take flight, Bironas

It gets less heterosexual from there.  Enjoy.

BradyFan83 returns to form with this tribute to Broncos running back/marijuana enthusiast/unprotected sex devotee Travis Henry, who last I heard was appealing the year-long suspension handed down by the NFL.   If you like Billy Joel and the NFL — and let's face it, those two go together like peanut butter and suede — you should enjoy this happy tune. 

There's nothing going on today, so I'm going to microwave this semi-old Texas A&M rap song and serve it to you piping hot.  Mmmm… it's delicious!  I can totally taste the lack of self-awareness!  And it comes with a garnish of extra-stylish sunglasses!

Your move, Ohio State Sleepy Rappers.