Swing your arms from side to side, come on, it’s time to go, do the Marion!

The Dallas Mavericks have gotten really into uploading wacky videos to their YouTube channel, and Super Marion Bros. (starring Shawn Marion as … well, you figured it out) is the best one yet. It makes me want to register BasketballGameFAQS.com. It also makes me wonder what Shawn Warion looks like. (via The NBA Mistress)

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Links

10 Of The Coolest Musicians To Guest Star On An Animated Show |UPROXX|

Vince Gilligan Offers 9 Clues On The Ending Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

Drunk kid from Twilight pees all over airport |Film Drunk|

The Hit Heard ‘Round The World: The Internet Sure Does Love Jadeveon Clowney |With Leather|

Playboy Playmate Crystal McCahill Shares Pictures From The ‘Sin City 2′ Set |Gamma Squad|

8 Realistic Expectations For Eminem’s 8th Album |Smoking Section|

20 Great Reasons to Hate the Redskins |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I’ve never been good at recognizing basketball penalties. I know the rules of the game, but I’m almost always wrong. LeBron James gets a pass at half court, tucks the ball under his arm and f**king Frankenstein walks 40 feet into a dunk and my brain goes HEY WAIT A SECOND, but nope, the person next to me helpfully explains that they “get two steps!” I’m never right. Also, LeBron James has never carried or traveled.

Amir Johnson has made me feel a little better about my eye-to-brain malfunctions with probably the worst violation I’ve ever seen a professional player get away with. It’s not even debatable. He dribbles the ball, stops, then just dribbles again and takes his shot. You can’t even get mad at it. Everyone who saw it just stood around laughing afterward, because holy shit there were three referees watching him do it.

Video vindication of my terrible basketball-watching abilities is after the jump.

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Back in July, With Leather created an Internet maelstrom (or “malestrom”) of guys furiously GIFfing and watermarking pictures of Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke. The clip of her infectiously smiling and dancing before owning heat 2 of the Women’s 100 metres hurdles at the 14th IAAF World Junior Championships in Barcelona went nuclear, we were called perverts by everyone from the UK Daily Mail to Yahoo!, and it ultimately led to Michelle getting offers to pose nude by … basically everybody.

What it never led to was Michelle Jenneke hanging out with us, playing video games with us or sharing pancakes. Or crying at Up. Or any of the things that were special and rightfully ours.

Somehow, theChive had the connections to live our dreams. I guess UPROXX was too busy not fulfilling our dreams and let this one slip through the cracks. Anyway, I am now officially Forever Alone, and you can watch this clip of people I don’t know palling around with a lady I don’t know and ruining my life.

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I think I speak for everyone when I say Nolan Ryan headlocking Robin Ventura and bashing him in the skull like a boss is the greatest moment in baseball history. Okay, maybe not the best, but the list goes “Jackie Robinson,” “Kirk Gibson’s gimpy home run,” then Nolan Ryan emasculating Ventura.

If you are on the Internet, you do not need me to tell you that Reddit is a place full of wonderful things, but today there is nothing more wonderful than said Nolan Ryan/Robin Ventura railroading as interpreted by the 1987 video game classic R.B.I. Baseball.

It’s two beautiful artistic endeavors brought together as one:

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I haven’t settled on whether or not I like Felicia Day. I was disappointed by season 7 of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ (more on that in tomorrow’s Sports On TV column), but I loved Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog and she was cute in that one episode of ‘Undeclared.’ ‘The Guild’ seems like a pretty good show, if you laugh at the word aggro and want to watch a woman who is always on the verge of being sexually assaulted by people who laugh at the word aggro.

That said, the fastest way to earn a spot in my heart is to talk about NBA Jam. So far at With Leather we’ve written about the game’s T2: Judgment Day origins, its Wii remake and the video some guy made of the announcer cursing. Now I get to write about Felicia Day playing NBA Jam. Internet worlds are colliding! This is making me totally aggro*!

So yeah, the latest update from The Flog features Willow When Willow Stopped Being Willow playing the best-ever Sega Genesis basketball game. Okay, second best. She isn’t playing Bulls Vs. Blazers. Highlights include Felicia marking out for 1990s Hilary Clinton, thinking Eric Montross’ last name is “Mattress” and discovering how awesome Anthony Peeler was. Lowlights include a guy named “Ryon” throwing shade at DJ Jazzy Jeff, and the show’s dog host spelling out some stuff in poop. Viewer discretion, I guess?

Video is below.

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If you thought that Old Spice had really stepped to the forefront of hilarious commercials in the last year, you’re about to get a swift kick to your funny boner from Dikembe Mutombo. For some reason that I don’t even care about at this point, the company behind my deodorant has released an online video game called “Dikembe Mutombo’s 4 ½ Weeks To Save The World” and yes, it is absolutely as awesome as you’d expect it to be. How awesome is it? The cursor is a wagging finger. I should just stop and let you play, because that should be all the reason you need.

But it gets so much better with Mutombo’s voice, the Mayan apocalypse, ridiculous game levels including “Week One: The Great 2012 Dance Crisis” and “Week Two: The Blurgpocalypse”, and guest characters such as Science the Bear, who makes me wish I was his best friend. Anyway, you don’t need to hear anymore. You can either jump to the Old Spice website and play the game or you can just hang out after the jump and play it with me for the rest of the day (heads up, it starts automatically with sound, so get them speakers down).

It’s your choice, and it should be easy, because I’m handsome.

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