"Raise your hands if you'll never have to work a day in your life!"

If you’re unfamiliar with David and Posh Spice Victoria Beckham’s sons, Romeo and Cruz, they’re basically two of the luckiest kids on the planet, because their father is David Beckham, one of the most iconic soccer players of his generation, and Victoria Beckham, who somehow managed to escape a life as Posh Spice of the 1990s assault on music known as the Spice Girls. Seriously, she should be performing concerts for easy listening radio stations at local fairs right now. Instead, she’s a world famous fashion designer and model, and coupled with her husband’s fame and hundreds of millions of dollars, her kids will never have to work a second in their lives.

That is, if you don’t count careers in modeling, acting, professional sports or music as “work”, and you shouldn’t, because for kids like Romeo and Cruz, those are actually just hobbies. Basically, they’re like Will Smith’s wiener kids, but they haven’t tortured us with albums or ruining any classic 80s movies yet. But give them time. They will eventually.

As for now, Romeo Beckham is taking his first step to fame as the new youthful face of Burberry’s kids’ line, which I assume is nothing but $6,000 jackets and scarves. Via GQ, Romeo’s first print ad has been released, as well as a video breaking down his first shoot as a person who gets paid to wear clothes.

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"Oi, and then I pay dat pasty bird tree quid to snog us boff."

There’s been a running theme on gossip and sports blogs for a few years that when L.A. Galaxy star David Beckham attends L.A. Lakers games, he gets a little case of the wandering eye. Basically, he’s often caught checking out Lakers Girls from his courtside seats. But in fairness to the newest Burger King spokesman:

1) The pictures are almost always taken out of context, because cameras likely catch him as he’s looking around in between plays. I mean, unless you show me a picture of him holding a sign that reads: “Check out the milk bags on that one!” I’m inclined to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. (Counterpoint: He’s a billionaire with a working penis.)

B) Have you seen Lakers Girls? HOT and DAMN.

Regardless, David reminded everyone last night why he doesn’t even need to look at other assorted ass, as he was joined at courtside by his wife, Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh Victoria, for Game 2 of the Lakers/Nuggets series. The Lakers squeaked out a 104-100 win over Denver, but the real winners were the fans at the Staples Center who got to watch the Beckhams on the Kiss Cam and think, “Aw, they have everything.”

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As has been evidenced by his attendance at practically every Los Angeles Lakers game, soccer superstar David Beckham has definitely made himself a home here in the good, ol’ U.S. of A. Obviously it helped that he finally led the L.A. Galaxy to a MLS Cup victory in 2011, after signing with the team in 2007, but once he signed a new two-year deal and talks of his eventual ownership of the team surfaced, it was a certainty.

But apparently Becks and his wife Sporty Scary Dopey Grumpy Hefty Posh Victoria have been sold on L.A. for a few years and have been quietly waiting for the right time to sell their massive British home. That time is now, the price tag is $28 million and you don’t even have to guess who wants to buy it, because of course it’s Kim Kardashian.

Kim is said to be planning to snap up the property – which comes complete with helipad, petting zoo…

Must… fight… urge…

… swimming pools and a recording studio – to use as a European base for her family including sisters Khloe and Kourtney and mother Kris Jenner. (Via the Winnipeg Free Press)

Obviously, my first thought was: “No way that this jaded fame whore family can honestly be dumb enough to throw down $28 million on an estate in a country full of people who might not give two soggy crumpets about them.” But don’t worry, they have a plan. They’re going to rent out rooms in the estate to their wealthy fans. I don’t even have a joke for that.

As for the Beckhams, why did it take so long for them to list their mansion?

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Victoria Beckham appears in August issue of Allure magazine. Included in the shoot is this pose, which is a clear homage to Balthus' "Golden Days" painting. Because when you think of high art, your thoughts automatically turn to WAGs.

And why not? Fine art is so full of needlessly chubby women. You're among the worst offenders, Peter Paul Rubens. You give heavyset women the ability to describe themselves as "reubenesque," asshole. I don't need handy euphemisms to deflect my abuse.

As for replacing the subject of a memorable painting, SCARLETT DID IT! For an entire movie even. Can't win for losing, Posh.