For as much as people make fun of Jose Canseco’s sometimes insane ramblings or pathetic attempts at begging Major League GMs to sign him, I do have a soft spot for the guy’s sweeter moments. Like, remember when he would talk about his beloved Leila? You know, before he tried to hook up with random girls via Twitter? I always thought that showed a side of the old lug that people needed to see more, so we didn’t always equate him to an insane juicer capable of snapping and rampaging small villages at any moment.

In this week’s Vice column, the eventual Pulitzer winner (hopefully for his shocking exposés on the government) elaborates on a very random – more random than usual – Tweet that he posted the other day:

If you were hoping that Canseco was going to deliver the Flux Capacitor, I have bad news. Time travel, according to Canseco, is possible, but only if your mind is as powerful as his.

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As I pointed out last week, Jose Canseco, the former baseball player who uses Twitter to beg Major League Baseball teams to consider signing a 48-year old designated hitter, now has a new gig as a columnist for Vice. In his debut at that site last week, Canseco weighed in on the necessity of guns in the wake of the Aurora, CO shooting. Canseco’s ultimate point was that if you’re not a juiced up martial artist, you need guns because you’re not an imposing force of fists like he is.

This week, Canseco is back to discuss something that’s more near and dear to his heart – bankruptcy. Canseco admits that he just filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy last week, and that’s shocking. I thought for sure that the guy who was once evicted from his home and needed pro bono legal representation to get his chandeliers back would have been doing just fine. Shows what I know.

Regardless, please allow the man who now claims to be a victim of the government’s evil ways to dispense his incredible amazing financial advice.

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Jose Canseco is currently a 48-year old independent league baseball player, which translates to a guy with a lot of time on his hands. Thankfully, he spends most of that time on Twitter, either attacking his haters or trying to win back the heart of his beloved Leila Shennib or meticulously organizing his eventual campaign for president. Of course, he can’t be president, because he was born in Cuba, but that won’t stop him. Nothing will stop him. After all…

The drawback of Twitter is that it only allows us 140 words of Canseco wisdom at a time, but thankfully the people at Vice decided to do the smartest thing possible and give Canseco his own regular column, JOSÉ CAN SAY SO. And the result is pretty damn great.

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