Links

UPROXX Presents: The Best Of 5-Second Films, Part 2 - For the other five people in the world who think “Father and Son” is hilarious. Some of these look legitimately better than any movie released in theaters since like, March. [UPROXX]

25 Ray Guns, Blasters and Phasers Inspired by the Sci-Fi of Yesteryear - Zzzzzap. Zzzzzzap. [Gamma Squad]

The Best Costumes, Celebrities, and Pointless Merchandise from New York Comic Con - Hopefully Matt will let me do a Wizard World Austin version of this. Also, I hope I can save up enough money between now and November to pay for one entrance ticket to Wizard World Austin. [Warming Glow]

Google Will Kill Google Buzz, Google Music Store Reportedly Launching - Google should buy AOL, sell it to Yahoo, then buy Yahoo and sell it to Alta Vista. Then buy Webcrawler and Ask Jeeves and merge them into AssCrawler. [Smoking Section]

Fincher Says ScarJo’s Boobs Were Too Big For Dragon Tattoo, Basically - Beside, they already filmed her version of this, it’s called The Perfect Score and it’s awesome. [Film Drunk]

Trent Richardson Now Owns Senquez Golson’s Ankles - Just … ridiculously sick. Ridiculously sick. [Smoking Section]

Hot Chicks of Occupy Wall Street - No, Internet. Bad Internet, bad. [Buzzfeed]

‘The Three Musketeers 3D’ Was a Joke on ‘The Simpsons’ Twelve Years Ago - Not really. Moviefone is stretching here, but the clip is funny, and the Zorro rap song is one of my most solid in-theater references. [Moviefone]

Venture Bros.’ 9 Most Musical Moments - ATTN: Venture Bros. guys, Re: you are not Trey Parker, please stop making music for no reason and animated your funny television show. [Adult Swim]

The 10 Most Profitable 80′s Remakes - Future #1: My gritty, cyber-noir remake of Amazing Grace And Chuck. [Pajiba]

Obsessed Apple Fan Gets Steve Jobs Haircut - Average Person, if you’re reading this, your planned-for-Halloween zombie Steve Jobs costume is not a funny or clever idea. [Brobible]

A Steampunk Disney Princess Fashion Show - How did this start, honestly? Who was the first nerd to say “Doctor Who is cool, but he’d be cooler if his scarf had pipes”? [Unreality]

Links

25 Idiots Who Blamed Hurricane Irene on Gay Marriage - The only gay person responsible for a hurricane is Pat Patterson. Hopefully one day we’ll decide that disasters are caused by things that happen, not things we hate. [Buzzfeed]

Supercut: Stephen Colbert Dancing - Something to make you feel better on a Monday morning. Considerably better dancing than hurricane-causing Ellen. [Warming Glow]

31 Movie Teens You Wish You’d Actually Gone to High School With - Lauren Ambrose circa Can’t Hardly Wait. Next. [FARK]

A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay - This week’s gallery is especially strong, thanks to appearances from Arcade AND Forbush Man. Cosplay is awesome when you do it right. [Gamma Squad]

Lil Wayne Takes a Shot at Jay-Z - Jay-Z is gonna be mad when he finds out Wayne said he never figured out how to love, thanks to all those crooks who kept trying to steal his heart. [Smoking Section]

6 Reason It’s OK to Like MTV’s Jersey Shore - Reason 1: Snooki did that Oompa Loompa cartwheel back elbow thing at Wrestlemania, and it was better than anyone assumed she could do. Reasons 2-6: unknown. [The Smoking Jacket]

The Venture Bros.’ 9 Most Musical Moments - What’s with everybody who makes good cartoons at Adult Swim deciding they also need to be rock stars? And furthermore, where is the Xavier double album? [Adult Swim]

The Best Fake Fast Food Chains - Does Arby’s count? [UGO]

The 10 Best Musical Performances of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - I honestly believe that Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young is a better musical act than most of the musical acts. Although I really like Neil Young. [Pajiba]

A Virtual Tour of Curb Your Enthusiasm Locations - Not exactly the world of the Na’vi, but still worth a look. Every location is better if you bring along an orchestra to play Wagner. [AOL TV]

Sara Jean Underwood Cosplays at Anime Expo - Seriously, why isn’t Morgan Webb doing things in her underwear anymore? Did she turn 30 and get Logan’s Run’d? I AM TIRED OF COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS. [G4TV]

The Terrific Adventures of White Mike Vick - Possibly our best feature from last week, read Burnsy’s hilarious work while I spend 20 minutes a day filtering out all the hateful comments both for and against. [With Leather]

The Stanley Cup Finals are going to game 7. Of course, there’s not a LeBron to be found in the NHL, not even Aaron Rome (although retroactively Eric Lindros came pretty close), so it’s hard to get things like Twitter excited about it. One thing is for sure: win or lose, Tim Thomas deserves the Conn Smythe Trophy. For those of you who don’t follow hockey, each year the Conn Smythe is awarded to the league’s most handsome goaltender.

Sports

Bruins Force Game 7 - If you aren’t following this, you should be, because the Bruins didn’t just decide to give up circa game 4 or 5 and call it a season. Scroll down and read all the hockey coverage, until you can’t handle it anymore and all the jokes about basketball and the Heat start being fresh and funny again. [Yardbarker]

Who Wants to Watch Chris Bosh Cry While Heading into the Locker Room? - I do, I do! But it’s always sad to see such a kind-hearted forest creature cry. [BroBible]

We Are Allowed To Hate The Miami Heat - In case you missed it yesterday, check out Mayor Burnsy’s manifesto about why it’s okay to get all bent-out-of-shape-happy about what happened in the basketballs. My version of this would just be the words CLEVELAND in big letters. [With Leather]

That Ken Burns Crap - Jason Fry does Ken Burns, and baseball is still happening whether you like it or not. Sports blogs are always better when they include the phrase “in my younger years”. [Faith and Fear]

Not Sports

The Best of The Venture Bros. Cosplay - I remember going to the Detroit City Motor-Con (or whatever the hell it was called) a few years ago and having more people react to my Henchman 24 t-shirt club shirt than most of the costumes. This gallery will give you a great idea why. We’re gonna recreate parts of this gallery on CNN later as “The Best of Jackie O Cosplay”. [Gamma Squad]

Every Zach Galifianakis Clip From Tim & Eric - Hoo … bastank. One of my favorite memories was going to a Washington Nationals game and running into Zach freaking Galifianakis. For those of you who are all ONE TRICK PONY ONLY GOT ONE SCHTICK BLURGHH, watch these videos and laugh the weirder parts of your ass off. [Adult Swim]

Meme Watch: The Best Of Hipster Edits - Like any Austin Texas resident I sure do hate the word “hipster”, but these get funnier and funnier as they go. Hipsters don’t edit things, they put birds on things and call it art. [Uproxx]

Bad Medicine: The Most Incompetent TV Doctors - You know the state of TV doctors is bad when Dr. Nick Riviera comes in at number ten. Every TV doctor is bad, because they have to spend the first 40 minutes being wrong to be “right” at the end and create exciting television. Sort of like those Law and Order episodes where they build and build and build and then the person’s all OH BY THE WAY I DID IT AND AM GUILTY as they’re fading to the credits. [UGO]

edit: Also, I still can’t believe that character’s name was seriously “Christian Shephard”.