What you need to know:

Golf cart mows down everyone in sight after a high school football game in Cowboys Stadium on December 17, 2011

What to look out for:

- A golf cart coming to life and trying to murder you a la Maximum Overdrive.

- 0:17-0:22 – A guy getting knocked ass over head and losing both of his shoes in the process.

- 0:20-0:26 – A guy getting knocked onto the cart, but being able to do nothing but helplessly touch the wheel for a few seconds before bailing out and rolling like the cart is about to explode or go sailing off the edge of a cliff.

- 0:19-0:29 – The only person in Texas fast enough and possessing enough mental prowess under pressure to sprint after a golf cart, climb into it and put his foot on the brake.

- 0:32-1:29 – Representatives of Texas high school football selling being bumped by a golf cart like they’ve been shot by a sniper.

- 0:00-0:16 – Is Trey Williams a real person, because he looks like a created guy in Madden.

[via Buzzfeed]

Back in April I put up a video of Real Madrid winning the Copa del Rey, then promptly dropping and running over it with a double-decker bus. That’s the sort of mishap that mishappens once in a lifetime, right? Well, it turns out Real Madrid is really into committing vehicular manslaughter on the things they love, because now they’ve dropped a woman and run over her with a golf cart.

A rundown of events (cough) via Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle:

While the players were being transported around the [UCLA] campus, one female fan decided to bum-rush one of the moving carts. She apparently didn’t consider the science of what happens when a person runs directly into a moving golf cart, because she got run over. The cart stopped momentarily before zooming off on its merry way.

The best part is the Hit And Run, because the guy filming just sort of goes “heh” and everyone moves on with their lives. No additional information is known about the victim at this time, but I’ve got a couple of working theories:

1. The woman was trying to commit suicide in the most uptight, Caucasian way possible (via a golf cart carrying a soccer team on a California college campus).
2. The woman was simply blind and jogging in the wrong direction.
3. The woman is Kevin James, and this is one of 800 similar jokes in his next movie.

Regardless, this is the least alert soccer team of all time. I hope you guys never crash your plane in the Andes Mountains, you’ll be dead within 20 minutes.