South Carolina cornerback Victor Hampton posted the above image to his Instagram account, and in case you don’t get it, that’s a giant Clemson Tigers orange paw print that some dastardly rascal spray painted on the field. To make matters worse, the very same scoundrel also sprayed “Go Tigers” on one of the Cockabooses next to the field, and when I finished laughing at that word, I was just as outraged as every Tom, Dick and SWAGGY Steve on that gorgeous campus in Columbia.

Fortunately, I have watched a few episodes of CSI in my day, and I fancy myself a bit of a sleuth when it comes to matters of the prankish persuasion, and not only have I already solved this crime using my alter ego, Sheriff BRO, but I will reveal the perpetrator to the entire world right now.

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I’m not much for the whole hyperbole thing, as I naturally like to keep my over-embellishment limited to Brittney Palmer being the greatest person ever in the history of history, but I do find myself using the “My favorite thing ever” tag on a pretty regular basis. Well, I’m here to put an end to that today, folks. Because on December 20, 2012 – one day before humanity is set to end, according to people who completely misinterpreted an ancient slab of rock – I have finally found my very absolute favorite thing ever, and it’s called Baseball Card Vandals.

As simple as it sounds, Baseball Card Vandals is simply a crude artistic endeavor by a few unknown souls, who I assume are baseball fans, but it doesn’t really matter. Because as long as I’ve been sitting on my collection of cards that are now worth as much as the cardboard box that I keep them in – thanks a lot, 18 Ken Griffey Jr. rookie cards and that Bo Jackson Classic card – I should have just been doodling on them with a black Sharpie like these guys, because the result is awesome.

Seriously, guys like Rick Rhoden and Dan Quisenberry should be elated that someone is doing anything with their old baseball cards. Especially something as fantastic as this.

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Over the weekend, Chicago Cubs officials became aware that someone had vandalized the Harry Caray statue outside of Wrigley Field. According to reports, someone spray painted “SOX” with another illegible word beneath it over the front of the statue’s base, which also bears the Cubs’ dedication inscription.

According to a photo taken by a Chicago Tribune employee (see it after the jump), the second word looks a little like “BITES” but that doesn’t make any sense, because why would someone spray paint “Sox bites” on a Cubs statue? Because, well, they’re Cubs fans. But in fairness, it wouldn’t shock me if a White Sox fan did this. I just know it wasn’t a St. Louis Cardinals fan, because we’re the classiest and most intelligent fans in baseball.

*polishes monocle, points to crotch*

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