Those sad Miami Heat pictures never get old.

Sports

Bill Me Later: 6 NBA Teams In Payroll Pinches - We’re now entering that awkward part of the offseason where everyone stands around staring at Chris Bosh until he gets the hint and leaves, and gets replaced with like three little three point shooting lay-up guys and maybe one who can play defense. [Smoking Section]

A KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag - These are always worth your time, even if the phrase “I’ve got big tits and love to bang” outs them as a Penthouse letters work. Hopefully nobody who has big tits and likes to bang types that sentence in real life. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

‘The League’ Responds to the NFL Lockout - Paul Scheer should just KABOOM the lockout. [Warming Glow]

Stanley Cup Riot Gallery: The Faces of Vancouver’s Horrific Sportsmanship - This is one of those things that seems important to sports history, so if you haven’t seen it, check it out. And by “important to sports history” I mean it makes the best of us write wistful contemplations on the nature of the beast, and will be forgotten in two months. [With Leather]

MMA’s Eight Greatest Public Service Announcements [VIDEOS] - I really want to pitch the idea of “MMA All-Stars to the Rescue”, where Brock Lensar just shows up in some kid’s bedroom and punches him in the face until he stops smoking. [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

We Hope That Robyn Never Stops Dancing - Watch the funniest and worst-best dancer in pop music do her thing alongside Rye Rye in the “Never Will Be Mine” music video. Pretty sure “Rye Rye” is just Fantasia with a giftcard to The Limited and a wig from Halloween Express. Robyn is awesome, jsyk. [Uproxx]

The Dilbert Guy Thinks Rape is Normal - That sums it up, really, the guy who draws Dilbert says rape is a normal male instinct, and uses jungle animals to make his point. Let me guess, the guy that does Marmaduke thinks women who dress like that are “asking for it”. [Comics Alliance]

The Muppets Parody of Green Lantern - Somebody should parody Green Lantern, because it is a festering pile of green CGI bullsh**. Everybody does the “Green Lantern is a third-rate hero anyway!” thing, but he isn’t, Hal Jordan is great, just not when he’s National Lampoon’s Hal Jordan. Also, pretty sad when the Muppets are 95% realer than anything in your $300 million blockbuster. [Gamma Squad]

Almost Historically Accurate Pop Culture Photoshops - Photoshopping Bill Murray circa Caddyshack into anything gets a link from me. IT’S IN THE HOLE. [Uproxx]

Yesterday, we showed you a gallery of Vancouver boobs. Today, we come to find out that “Vancouver boobs” means something completely different. “What!? You beat us at hockey!? Well we’ll show you, come on guys let’s f*ck up our own town!” Burnsy’s going to have a bunch of “Canadians be crazy” photos up in a bit, but I wanted to give you a heads up in case every single thing we write today is about Canada’s miscreant equivalents of Kinger and Schmo.

Also, a hockey game was either won or lost, I can’t tell.

Sports

Latest: Fan Mayhem - Head on over to CTV and check out a video recap of the riots, including a guy with a faux-hawk talking about how the “young boys wanted to go downtown”. The best punishment for these heinous acts: make everyone who rioted move to that upper, barren part of Canada where all they can do for fun is ice fish and die of coldstroke. [CTV]

The Wrestling Podcast - When you’re done, be sure to check out my world podcast debut on TH’s fake fighting weekly. We talk about Japan, puffy Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets, and what you do and don’t expect upon meeting Chris Benoit. Good clean fun for the whole family! [The Wrestling Blog]

Video: ‘Moneyball’ Footage Released In All Its Brad Pittitude - Jon is better at writing little facetious one-act plays than anyone I’ve ever known. Watch the entire video to hear to Douche that Walks Like a Man from Entertainment Tonight barf about how great the movie looks. [SB Nation]

Is There Light at the End of the Tunnel for the NFL Lockout? – Or is it just a freight train comin’ their way, yayyyyy-yeah-heayahhhhh. Okay, that copy reads better if you sing it like James Hetfield. [The Smoking Section]

Not Sports

Video: Cooking Show Money Shots - Is it weird that if I could sleep with any woman in the world, it would probably be a 40-year old with a huge head and a cooking show? The food she cooks doesn’t even look good, what’s wrong with me? [Warming Glow]

Commando Reboot Has Great Script, Says Liar - I think “a great script” or “a really great script” is Hollywood code for “I agreed to do this for money but can’t say that.” I remember Sean William Scott going on talk shows talking about how he was NEVER gonna return for an American Pie 3, but American Wedding just had “such a great script”. Yeah, that script was fantastic, Sean William. [Film Drunk]

The Avengers Poster - I’m happy to say Hollywood’s first Ultimate Team-Up movie features my all-time pet peeve from comics – a character jump kicking nothing as they’re falling from a great height. What are you kicking, Black Widow? It can’t be important, Iron Man isn’t even looking at it. [Gamma Squad]

Zach Galifianakis and Fiona Apple are Friends - …and I want to go over to their house and hang out with them forever. Screw you, Tosh, “Never is a Promise” is an awesome song. Except for that last part where she goes “mmm mmm mmmmm” and almost ruins it. But awesome nonetheless! [Uproxx]