The Rose Bowl hosted Saturday’s Gold Cup final between Mexico and the United States, and as the more talented and energetic Mexican squad capped a dominant 4-2 victory after spotting the Americans a two-goal lead, senior Sports Illustrated soccer writer Grant Wahl, noting the heavily pro-Mexican crowd, tweeted “Let’s be clear: Almost everyone in this stadium is American. And it’s kind of cool.”

I found Wahl’s comment infuriating on several levels. Not only did his blanket statement leave me wondering how many social security cards he’d checked as fans entered the stadium, it assigned my nationality to a fan base that is among the most vulgar, foul, and subhuman in all of sport. The filth of Mexican soccer fans is well documented: the chants of “Osama” at a 2005 match, their insistence at drowning out “The Star-Spangled Banner” with boos, the bags of urine and cups of vomit thrown at U.S. players. But I’ve always assigned those actions to Mexican fanatics in the legendarily brutal Estadio Azteca in Mexico City; I’ve never considered those animals to be American, and I certainly don’t relish that prospect as “cool.”

Uproxx reader Julie — a Boston native and therefore no stranger to boorish fans — traveled to Pasadena for the match. This is her account:

Read the rest of this entry »

Landon Donovan was a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman last night, and if you wanted to hear him talk about anything interesting, you were out of luck. Letterman decided not to address the rumors that Donovan impregnated an English woman. If the rumors are true, I’d be surprised. A soccer player’s penis can’t go very long without faking an injury.

The 28-year old Donovan, who is separated from but still married to actress Bianca Kajlich, star of the CBS sitcom “Rules of Engagement,” in response to a question by Sports Illustrated on Sunday did not deny the possibility of having fathered the child and promised to support the child if he proves to be the father.

Usually appearances by star athletes following major events are soft interviews, but Letterman had an opportunity to make some national news on Tuesday night by at least asking Donovan about the situation. –The Wrap

Letterman did have the chutzpah to ask Donovan’s opinion on the World Cup referees. Dave felt as if the officials were biased against the Americans, which I don’t feel is true. They suck equally for everyone. Read the rest of this entry »

Just when you thought American soccer was about to turn a corner and make a run for the World Cup, they fell 2-1 to Ghana. Allowing early goals was the team’s biggest problem throughout the tournament, and those troubles continued against the Ghanaians. Kevin Prince-Boateng scored in the fifth minute, forcing the USMNT to play from behind for a majority of the game. But the US once again proved they could rise to the challenge when Landon Donovan scored his third goal of the tournament on a penalty kick in the 62nd minute. That goal would force extra time, but the Ghanaians would once again take advantage of an early goal, when Asamoah Gyan scored in the 93rd minute. It proved to be the final nail in the coffin for the American squad. Who’s excited for the MLS season? That’s right, no one.

“A stinging, tough defeat,” said Bob Bradley, who faces an uncertain future as U.S. coach. –ESPN

Stinging, indeed. Had the Americans won, they would have faced a beatable Uruguay team in the quarterfinals. A win there would have put them in the tournament’s final four. The door was open for the USMNT to spike interest in a country that notoriously couldn’t care less. Sunil Gulati, president of the U.S. Soccer Federation wasn’t pleased with the performance, and heads may roll. Specifically, the head of coach Bob Bradley. Read the rest of this entry »

Best shirts ever? Best shirts ever.

2:00 Eastern time. World Cup. USA-Ghana. DON’T F*CKING TREAD.

Read the rest of this entry »

If there’s one thing I love, it’s nonsensical rankings for my own personal enjoyment. Let’s get to it.

1) Cats in Space – Ufford recounts the history of interstellar felines. It’s chock full of cats photoshopped as astronauts; humor that transcends race, gender, or religion. Suck it, Laser Cats.

Earlier this week, we called Landon Donovan’s game winner in Algeria the greatest goal in the history of American soccer. There are some good arguments against that claim: Brandi Chastain‘s converted penalty kick in 1999 was the signature moment for that Women’s World Cup. There was the lone goal in America’s 1-0 win against England in 1950 by…uh…that one guy (who was Haitian, by the way). There’s ample room for debate.

The best argument I can give is this: the United States was at the foot of a mountain in this World Cup. Team USA, with its ouster of former coach Bruce Arena and the promising play of Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey, went into South Africa with an unusual situation — facing the burden of expectations. With a promising team and a favorable group draw, the Yankee Mutant Ninja Turtles were expected to advance to the knockout stage and be one of 16 teams to compete for a spot in the World Cup final. After a disappointing result with Slovenia, the US needed a win over Algeria to get out of their group.

And then this happened…
Read the rest of this entry »