Carbon Poker‘s blog tells us the story of Dusty Schmidt, aka “Leatherass,” who’s already my second-best friend but doesn’t know it yet. He’s an online poker pro, internet entepreneur, and competitive amateur golfer. At least he was…before he put the feelers out for the greatest prop bet ever.

Schmidt offered up a cool $1 Million prop bet to anyone that could beat him in 10 Heads Up matches and 72 holes of golf. Although no one took the action, it generated a lot of press for Schmidt and unfortunately grabbed the attention of the USGA.

The USGA pulled his amateur status, citing the Puritan’s catch-all “spirit of the game” provision. Schmidt is now suing to get his “A” back in US District Court–citing that no one answered his challenge. Oh, and he’s representing himself. From the monolith:

“I consider myself a golfer that more or less stumbled into this poker thing, and along the way picked up what I believe are these misconceptions about who I am and what I do,” he said. “I think that doesn’t sit well with the USGA.”

Obviously, I’m siding withe the guy named Leatherass. Schmidt actually regained his “A” after petitioning the USGA after a pro career shortened by a heart attack. At 23. Even this guy’s brushes with death are awesome. It’s a scary day for me if I even leave the apartment.

Instead of the natural course of trending more lesbian, the world of women's golf is getting younger with the news that Michelle Wie's record as the youngest person ever to compete in a pro golfing event has been undercut by an even tinier tyke. I said tyke, not dyke, right? I kid, of course. You don't have to be gay to play women's golf, but it does help if you can crush on other female golfers based on petty grudges.

At 10 years, 3 months and 9 days old, Allisen Corpuz becomes the youngest entrant in a USGA championship event today, at the week-long Women's Public Links Tournament in Erin, Wisc.  Michelle Wie set the previous record, when she played the same event in 2000, at the age of 10 years and 9 months.

But according to Corpuz' father Marcos, there is bad blood between his daughter and Wie, stemming from when Allisen was a spectator at a February LPGA event in Hawaii.

"Michelle Wie wasn’t very nice to the kids at the tournament," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "She didn’t seem to want to be around them, so she definitely is not Allisen’s role model . . . Allisen likes Morgan Pressel because she was much friendlier with the kids."

"Waaah, Michelle Wie was too busy being successful and pretty and not making me balloon animals!" Hell hath no fury like a girl golfer something something. Pressel is not a bad looker herself, so at least Corpuz has decent taste on possible scissor sisters, but fondness for children suggests an interest in possibly having them someday. Your icy determination serves you well with the males, Michelle.