Wow. Here I thought the name “Giants” meant something. I thought it implied that the San Francisco Giants baseball team was “bigger” than other teams. Yet here we are, a day before the World Series is set to begin and these so-called Giants are just calling it quits? “Oh look at us, we won Game 7 and the NLCS, so we’re just going to pack it up and play the Detroit Tigers in the World Series because we don’t have to play the St. Louis Cardinals anymore.” Are you serious? That’s how you want to win, Giants?

For the first time in Major League Baseball history, a team could actually be as big as its name suggests and say, “You know what? One more game, winner takes all.” Sure, the Giants “don’t have to do that” and the league “wouldn’t let them do that” and it wouldn’t be “fair to the fans or the players”, but come on! That’s the worst string of logic I’ve ever seen!

Fine, Giants. Go play in your stupid, insignificant World Series. It’ll always have an asterisk next to it anyway. Years from now, I’ll be standing in Cooperstown with my grandson and my smoking hot 22-year old Blasian girlfriend and I’ll say, “Oh, the 2012 World Series? Yeah, that’s when the Giants were too afraid to play the Cardinals again. Don’t worry, nobody cares about that World Series anymore. Especially not since Nancy Pelosi sold California to the Kardashians.” So yeah, congrats Giants.

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Conan O’Brien’s ‘Clueless Gamer’ segments are the best. If you frequent UPROXX, you may have already seen him play through ‘Skyrim’ as a cat named Mr. Buttons or not give a shit about ‘Minecraft’.

This week’s segment reviews ‘Just Dance 4,’ enlisting the help of U.S. Olympic soccer gold medalist/the Internet’s girlfriend Alex Morgan. Alex and Conan dance their way through Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ and Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ before Conan gives up completely and leaves Alex to roll around on the floor by herself.

It’s five minutes of Alex Morgan dancing in workout clothes, people, you don’t need me to blurb this for you. Video is below.

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As much as I make fun of Canada, I really am quite fond of America’s hat. Those crazy Canucks gave us Kids in the Hall, and that’s probably my all-time favorite TV show, so I can’t really bash those hosers for that. But it’s just so hard to continue my appreciation of those moose-loving maniacs when they have people like Melissa Tancredi giving Ndamukong Suh a run for his money in the d*ckhead department.

To be fair, Team Canada had quite a few poor sports after Team USA pulled off a miraculous 4-3 victory in the semifinals on Monday. Christine Sinclair accused the refs of giving the victory to the U.S. before the match even started. Canada’s coach, John “Flappy” Herdman, called on Team USA to just admit that they were fortunate for being favored. But regardless of whether or not the refs were in Uncle Sam’s pockets, Tancredi really went the extra kilometer to come off as a total C-word.

Tancredi received a yellow card in the match, after committing at least 7 fouls, and despite that she still blamed the refs and not her team’s cheap tactics for the loss.

When asked what she said to Pederson after the call [that led to the penalty], she said: “I hope you can sleep tonight and put on your American jersey because that’s who you played for today. I was honest.”

Oh, and to wrap her piss poor day up and throw a big, ol’ bow on it, Tancredi stomped on Carli Lloyd’s head, as you can see in the video after the jump. And you can bet your maple leafed ass if it was Alex Morgan, I’d be knocking on Canada’s door with a Challenger 2 tank right now.

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There’s a great deal of added pressure on the U.S. women’s soccer team in this 2012 Summer Olympics, what with the men’s team apparently being contracted or something. Fortunately, stars like Abby Wambach and Hope Solo are up to the challenge, what with their whole being really talented thing going on.

However, yesterday, after a disheartening start in which the red hot French team, winners of 17 straight, got out to a quick 2-0 lead, the U.S. women showed why they’re best players for the best country in the world (f*ck you, Botswana) as they fired back to win the game 4-2. Multiple women player their parts in making this victory happen, but the game’s true star was our favorite, Alex Morgan, who was responsible for two of Team USA’s scores.

Said U.S. captain Christie Rampone, “They’re really stepping up and they’re really taking pride in wearing the USA jersey and showing American pride, more the mentality — kind of old school with a young flair. They’re doing a great job.”

Rampone says the combination of Wambach and Morgan puts this team in an elite class. She says, of Morgan, “She has embraced the fact that she’s now in the starting lineup and she plays well with Abby Wambach up top.” (Via the USA Today)

Unfortunately, not many conversations can take place regarding Morgan without mentioning her looks, because we’re a culture of perverts these days. Thankfully, we consider ourselves gentlemen at this fine website – despite what the HuffPo, Yahoo! and eventually Daily Mail when it finds a writer to copy another person’s opinion think – so I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to finally end the objectification of Morgan as the Internet’s “girlfriend” so we can simply appreciate her as a world class soccer player.

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Because our hearts pump normal, human blood, we have a little crush on Western New York Flash forward Alex Morgan. Because we follow sports closely (and have Kate Upton Google Alert boobytraps set up on every corner of the Internet) we know that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue goes on sale tomorrow, and because God is looking out for us, Alex Morgan appears in said issue wearing a painted-on bikini.

Our friends at SI Hot Clicks were kind enough to leak the photo and an interview snippet on Friday. From that interview, a condescending question with an awesome answer:

SI.com: What was more intimidating: posing in bodypaint or taking on Japan in the World Cup finals?

Morgan: I have been playing soccer my entire life. I know how to stay calm and not get too nervous for games. That’s why I would have to say posing in bodypaint was a little more intimidating. It was a completely new experience and definitely took some getting used to before I felt comfortable in bodypaint. I had to look in the mirror every five minutes to make sure I actually had a swimsuit on.

I’m still not entirely sure why the SI swimsuit issue exists. For the longest time I thought maybe female sports fans who subscribed to the magazine used it as a shopping guide of sorts to keep abreast of the latest bikini fashions, but then they started just dumping paint on ladies and glitter-gluing sand to their boobs and it lost me. I mean, it found me on a personal level, but it lost me intellectually.

Oh, and before I ramble on too much, here’s Alex Morgan wearing absolutely f**king nothing:

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Man, time sure does fly. It seems like just yesterday I was praising Drew Brees. Actually, it was just yesterday, but I was referring to when I named Brees and the New Orleans Saints winning Super Bowl XLIV the top Sports Moment of 2010. And you know what? That was a boring, predictable pick and it left nothing to the imagination of you, our beloved readers. You deserve more than just the run-of-the-mill year end list, because With Leatherites are smarter than the average sports blog reader, and I know that because I was called an idiot by you guys plenty this year.

You also have a better sense of humor than the average sports blog reader, so when I was entering the qualifications for this year’s Best Sports Moments into my sophisticated super computer (read: old yellow notepad) I wanted to kick the sentimental crap to the curb and really focus on what makes us all tick – namely, poop jokes and hot models. But mostly fun sports moments. As always, I don’t expect everyone to agree, and I’m sure that I left out a few moments here and there (sorry hockey). So feel free to school us on your biggest moments of the year, and let’s all hope that 2012 is a little more sex scandal free…

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