All four No. 1 teams remain as the Sweet 16 is ready for Thursday’s NCAA Tournament action, and I’d say that’s pretty remarkable considering how crazy these games have been. Two 2-seeds and two 3-seeds have been booted, and a few of them were heavy favorites to win it all – especially by one certain jackass, who had Missouri defeating Florida State in the National Championship game. Ha, I mean who could be that stupid? *loosens tie, looks around nervously*

But you guys, you’re the real prognosticators, as there were 8 freaking upsets on Friday and 22 commenters correctly guessed 5 of them. Well, 22 people guessed the winners and 2 people didn’t bother including scores, so *fart noise* to them. Unfortunately, the rules only permitted 5 winners. Hmmm, 5 upsets and just 5 t-shirts, I wonder if that means that the prediction with the closest score from each upset wins a t-shirt. Yes, that’s exactly what it means.

Without further ado, Friday’s big swag winners are:

NC State 79, SDSU 65: “Guest” (71-67)
Ohio 65, Michigan 60: “Starks” (64-58)
Purdue 72, St. Mary’s 69: “SenatorThimble” (74-66)
USF 58, Temple 44: “UFGrad” (60-53)
Xavier 67, ND 63: “Mighty914″ (69-65)
UPDATE: “Mattox” had Lehigh over Duke. And “Codename Duchess” also had the closer score on Xavier over ND, so you two email me addresses and shirt sizes. Apologies.

(Disclaimer: Previous shirt winners were excluded, not that it really mattered.)

Congrats, you Miss Cleos, and email me your addresses and shirt sizes to BurnsyWL@gmail.com. All you other disenfranchised and discouraged Nostradamuses, keep your chins up, because we’ll be back Thursday with another giveaway. There will be t-shirts (including the most limited edition vintage style) and possibly much, much more, pending the results of my robot that was designed to steal Kate Upton’s underwear. Oh no, why did I give it the ability to sniff?

Leave your expressions of rage, rotten produce and stories of bracket pool grief in the comments.

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A few weeks ago, when it was announced that star players Derrell Johnson-Koulianos and Adam Robinson would not be playing for the Iowa Hawkeyes in the Insight Bowl, it seemed a certainty that the team was doomed against the No. 12 Missouri Tigers. Well drug charges and academic violations be damned, because the Hawkeyes won and captured the hearts of millions of people. Or not. Just thought it might make the story better.

Led by backup running back Marcus Coker’s 33 carries for a school bowl record 219 yards, the Hawkeyes got ahead early and had Mizzou flustered most of the game, ultimately costing me my 35-point Bowl Mania pick. Missouri took a 24-20 lead in the 4th and seemed to have the Iowa defense on the ropes as the Tigers marched, but then QB Blaine Gabbert threw an interception that can only be described as Chad Henne-esque to Micah Hyde, who returned it 72 yards for the go-ahead TD, and the rest was history. Mainly because I switched to liquor.

Koulianos, of course, was arrested on four misdemeanor drug charges and he admitted to smoking marijuana and using cocaine after he tested positive for both, and it was a given that Iowa’s all-time leading receiver was never going to play for the Hawkeyes again. Robinson, on the other hand, was suspended for academic reasons and was expected to return to the team next season. But the team’s leading rusher this season apparently decided to go a different direction on Monday night. Robinson was arrested in Des Moines for possession of Marijuana. Mary Jane. Reefer. I blame Ashton Kutcher for everything.

Northern Iowa just knocked Kansas out of the NCAA tournament, a shocking upset that makes Ohio’s first-round win over Georgetown look like the smallest of potatoes. Even more amazing is that Kansas, after scoring the first two points of the game, did not have the lead at any point thereafter. Equally insane was the clinching, Reggie-Miller-esque three-pointer from UNI’s Ali Farokhmanesh (white guy, even), which he fired off while leading a fast break.

Whether you love this or hate this says a lot about your mindset on the state of college basketball. Kansas, who was one of the most lauded teams all season, have been replaced by the champions of the not-so-mighty Missouri Valley Conference. Kansas and its accomplishments from a rigorous Big XII season all seem for naught now. It’s somewhat ironic that Missouri is the “Show Me” State. Northern Iowa did just that. Read the rest of this entry »

And that team was South Carolina, who was ranked 24th heading into last night’s game. It was Vandy’s first such victory at home since 1992. While a short wave of BCS fever sweeps over the Nashville campus, it’s time to point and laugh at the second South Carolina team to soil itself on national television in five days. South Carolina is a program that Steve Spurrier still can’t seem to get into top gear. Well, I guess we can finally put the rumors to rest. There actually is at least one black guy playing for Vanderbilt.

Well the new AP Top 25 rankings are out, and there are 4 new teams in the Top 10 with Oklahoma climbing to #6, South Carolina to #7, West Virginia to #8, and Oregon to #9.  The second tier of of ranks include the likes of Missouri (#11), Kentucky (#17), Illinois (#18), and Kansas (#20).  Hmm, aren't these basketball schools?  What's next – will DePaul bring back their football program and dominate NCAA football?  Will I use my remaining 4 years of eligibility to lead the Blue Demons to the National Championship game with my patented guile and 'F' formation?  Time will tell.

One other question about this so-called Top 25 – where the fuck is Notre Dame?  They beat the mighty UCLA Bruins yesterday, so shouldn't they be like #7 now?  I would advise all interested spectators not to use these ranks to place friendly wagers.  Trust your asst. editor – fool me once, shame on you, fool me six times, and my legs are broken. -KD