As several emailers have already pointed out, embattled quarterback/dog fighting enthusiast tested positive for marijuana as he awaits sentencing, and if you saw this coming, by all means, let me know who to bet on in the Kentucky Derby. Because you, sir, have the Sight.
How could we have possibly known Michael Vick smokes pot? Has he ever been photographed with a blunt? Has he ever tried to sneak it into an airport? I can't even recall a blog sneak it into an airport? I can't even recall a blog suggesting that he was stoned every day of his life, and blogs will write anything. Certainly I've never recapped the poor decisions he's made in the past after he claimed his life was going to "get turned around."
Stay tuned for more breaking news on With Leather. I'll see if I can find out for sure if the sun is gonna go down tonight. Oddsmakers have been playing with the line, but I've got some contacts on the inside track.
Granted, this may end up being a relatively harmless incident, and there will almost certainly be no criminal charges filed. BUT… if I told you that an NFL player's dog attacked a woman and her three-year-old child, what team would you guess that player was from? What state do you think it happened in? If you said "Bengals" and "Ohio," congratulations: you have a gift for the predictable.
A woman and her toddler son were bitten Thursday morning by a dog at a home owned by Cincinnati Bengal Deltha O’Neal… Officers found Jasmie Risco, 23, and her 3-year-old son, Jaiden, undergoing treatment at Anderson Mercy Hospital for dog bites to their legs and buttocks. Investigators said O’Neal was not at the home when the dog, a Rottweiler, bit the pair but returned to take them to the hospital.
If Michael Vick can get suspended indefinitely for dog fighting, I can only imagine what will happen to O'Neal. Dog fighting is one thing, but dogs fighting toddlers is absolutely inhumane. Kids aren't ready to take on a Rottweiler in the ring until about age 7. That's when you get the best prize fights.
(Thanks to commenter JonathanWK, who wins a new car for the tip.)
I can't use 128-point font type for headlines here, so I hope I effectively conveyed my complete surprise at the SHOCKING! news that Michael Vick accepted his plea deal today. He will be going to jail — his sentencing is set for next Monday.
More details to follow, probably on other websites.
Yesterday, Yahoo Sports "broke" the "news" that Michael Vick will soon be suspended from playing in the NFL for at least a year by der Kommissar Roger Goodell.
Umm… is it just me, or is the standard for breaking a news story unfathomably fucking low? Pacman Jones got a year suspension for being involved in stuff that he'll never get convicted for. Chris Henry got 8 games for some DUIs or something. Michael Vick got a federal indictment for running a dogfighting ring. I'm not a lawyer, but I once had sex with a chick in law school, and she said that animal cruelty for sport and gambling is worse than getting pulled over for DUI. And she had a big rack, so I believe her.
Anyway, Yahoo Sports and the rest of the sports media better watch out, because I have news that will fucking BLOW YOUR MIND: the Super Bowl will be played in February, and millions of people are going to watch it. Seriously: millions. You heard it here first.
On this week's episode of When Metaphors Attack!… the Cleveland Browns' locker room is filled with sewage. Yep.
Old pipes in Cleveland's water system are largely to blame, city and stadium officials said Wednesday. Iron deposits flaked off the inside of the pipes and clogged toilet valves, causing a 160,000-gallon holding tank — necessary for when thousands of fans go to the restrooms at halftime — to overflow.
"Picture a waterfall," said Carl Meyer, Browns vice president of security and logistics. That water was combined with some sewage from the plumbing system, Meyer said… The overflow left 6 inches of water in the locker rooms and lower service level of the stadium, including food service areas.
Okay, okay — I get it. Cleveland is a shitty city. Cleveland's football team is called the Browns. Shit is brown. The Browns are shitty. God's being a little heavy-handed here. Most plagues are less subtle. And if that's the direction this is going… well, I'm gonna lay some money on Baltimore's Inner Harbor turning into blood. I mean, He's alread got His Linebacker there to help him out.
[FanHaus]
Unless the New York Post is wrong — and it is never wrong — an as-yet-unnamed NBA official made calls that affected the point spreads of the games he was working because he was betting on games and was closely tied to an organized crime syndicate.
Personally, I'm a little skeptical. It's pretty hard to believe that only one NBA referee is fixing games.
Federal agents are set to arrest the referee and a cadre of mobsters and their associates who lined their pockets, sources said. "These are dangerous people [the referee] was involved with," a source said…
The sources indicated the referee apparently had a gambling problem, slipped into debt and fell prey to mob thugs. "That's how he got himself into this predicament" by wagering with mob-connected bookies, one source said.
That's why I recommend Bruno above the deli at 4th Avenue and 83rd Street in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn — totally mob-free! And he does all his own finger-breaking. It's a really personal experience.
