I’ve watched this video a few times, trying to figure out how landing on your arm from like two feet up can knock you out, and yeah, the jolt of a fall can do crazy things to your brain and all, but I think it was shame that knocked him out.

Cage Potato is a great place to find MMA and boxing knockout videos of varying believability, but this is my new favorite — Jeremie Capony and Dan Lariviere squared off at Empire Fight League 4 in Montreal on Saturday, and at some point Lariviere attempts a flying switch-kick that whiffs completely and only succeeds in switching consciousness for unconsciousness.

I like to think that in a different timeline, poor Dan connected with that kick and it made him a viral Internet superstar. Maybe he got a date with Mandy Moore out of it. I guess we’re just living in the darkest timeline.

Double knockouts are rare. Stoppages due to cage malfunction are even rarer. That’s what makes this clip of Brandon Bishop and Braedon Ward’s Hardrock MMA 43 fight from Satuday night the rarest of the rare, the Mew, as it were, of mixed martial arts: it’s a double knockout via cage malfunction. What the what?

From Cage Potato:

After Ward managed to toss Bishop to the mat but was unable to complete the takedown, he bull rushed ahead with a double leg, eventually slamming into to cage door, which burst open and sent both fighters crashing to the ground.

As team members rushed to their aid, it quickly became apparent that both parties had been knocked unconscious in the fall, and the bout was subsequently ruled a no contest.

Good to see local MMA operating under the same rules as pro wrestling — it doesn’t matter how far or cleanly you fell, if the fall involved a prop (like a cage door, collapsable stage or stack of cardboard boxes) you have to lie there unconscious until people drag you away.

In other news, Hardrock MMA 43 seems like the most hilarious and best thing ever, coming pretty close to being the “Battledome” of organized fighting when you combine that double cage knockout with this second, even more brutally hilarious clip from the event. Watch as a guy from Kentucky tries to be the little monkey dude from Bloodsport and gets his skull caved in for his efforts:

Read the rest of this entry »

This video’s title is the SEO-friendly “Breakdancer kicking girl knockout“, but I have two problems:

1. They should’ve just called it “Internet”
2. They act like what happens in the video is a terrible mistake, but I watch pro wrestling … that wasn’t a mistake, that was a heel turn.

I’m also interested in the Breakdancer part. Sure, maybe the little girl gets Sweet Hip-Hop Chin Music’d before the dancing can occur (and the “break” could be referring to her jaw), but for the first twenty seconds I see nothing but the worst Saturday morning cartoon “Stay Off Drugs” commercial forward-rolling and New Kids On The Block-dancing bullsh*t ever. If your “crew” is a tween in cargo shorts and a kid in an all-white hat with a flat brim with the rhythm of a toaster oven you’re setting yourself up to be served, be it through superior dance humiliation or kung-fu f**king knockouts.

I don’t know, something about the music and the guy’s t-shirt makes this seem like a really dangerous episode of ‘GUTS’.

[h/t Cage Potato]

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

LOLNFL2011: Week 12 - I hope Tim Tebow wins the Super Bowl. There, I said it! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Watch A Bunch Of Dogs Experience Sunlight And Grass For The First Time - Cried about this all day yesterday. People keep saying “so cute!” but no, not “cute” as much as “depressing as hell because I’m part of the species that does this to things”. [UPROXX]

Scene Breakdown: ‘Karate Dog’ - Still sad I wasn’t on the think-tank for this (I’ve got the DVD right here) but now I’m following Danger Guerrero @dangerguerrero so I won’t miss out on those opportunities again! [Film Drunk]

40 Awesome Straight-Up Nerdy Christmas Ornaments - The best is the guy who took a picture of the Spider-Man ornament while it was still hanging up at the Hallmark store. SMDH @ you, nerd. [Gamma Squad]

R.I.P. Patrice O’Neal - And yet Carlos Mencia has a new special on Comedy Central this week. Life has never been fair. [Warming Glow]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 11/28: Get On Your Vegan High Horse And Ride - If you haven’t read this yet, you should. I make a comparison with The Miz that will destroy your ability to watch wrestling forever. [With Leather]

The Bottom Line? Five Classic Moments Missing From WWE’s New Stone Cold Steve Austin Documentary - See, I’m not the only UPROXX satellite that writes about wrestling. I would buy this DVD if I didn’t already own f**king three other Stone Cold Steve Austin DVDs. [Smoking Section]

The 20 Finest Fake Criterions For Really Sh*tty Movies - I love these and would buy almost all of them (especially Air Bud), but in what universe is Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey a “really sh*tty movie”? You’re watching movies wrong. [UPROXX]

Lady Gaga Totally Looks Like These Pigeons - And her last album is still terrible! Put the old people back in charge of you before I stop liking you forever, Gaga. [Buzzfeed]

‘A Dangerous Method’ and the Most Freudian Movies Ever - Does Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure count? He’s holding a corn dog when they’re at the mall. [Moviefone]

This Is the Stupidest, Most Brilliant Knockout Kick We’ve Ever Seen - That’s not Eddy Gordo, guys, that’s a motherf**king Koppu Kick. Jushin Thunder Liger would’ve lit this guy up. [Cage Potato]

And now for something completely different.

When you’re a mixed-martial arts fighter, “having a heart attack after a dead cow fell on you in a slaughterhouse” can’t be high on your list of expected ways to die, but here we are. By way of an hilariously-insensitive report from Mirror UK comes the story of the tragic death of Scottish amateur MMA fighter Ally McCrae, a wrestler, Thai boxer and blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu who happened to work in an abattoir.

Ally McCrae, 23, was trapped when the carcass fell off a hook and he suffered head injuries which triggered a heart attack.

The super-fit amateur cage fighter was rushed to hospital but surgeons were unable to save his life.

His trainer John Nicolson said yesterday: “Ally was such a joker and when I heard the bizarre circumstances, I thought he might be playing a joke.”

And can you blame him? That doesn’t really sound like news the human brain is ready to accept. Also, I love how Mirror UK notes that he was “super-fit”, as if his chiseled abdominals were going to protect him from the freefall a 600-pound cow.

You can find out more about the story at Mirror, or you can check out this hilariously-insensitive report from Fightlinker that forgets this guy was a human being and breaks down the cow-to-body collision like a fight. I know this is a terrible situation, but the better part of my heart tells me that if I died being flattened by a projectile slaughterhouse cow I’d want the people who found out to have a laugh. Because seriously, holy sh*t.

[h/t Vince at FilmDrunk]

What you’re watching is the (No Self-) Respect Fighting Championship 6 Pro -88kg bout wherein Jörg Lothmann knocks out Jeffrey Waltmans with a spinning kick to the face and an admonishing-a-dog-style slap to the back of the neck. This fight is of interest for two reasons: Jörg Lothmann is 44-years old, and he has one of the most hilarious torsos in professional sports.

Seriously, look at that thing. From the back it looks like the top of a butt, and from the front it looks like … I don’t know, an earlobe? If you look at the picture on the right and take away his head and limbs it looks like a goldfish’s face. When he breathes it looks like he’s trying to suck up fish food through his navel.

The fight comes to us by way of Fightlinker and many a “gunt” joke was had, at least until aptly-named commenter “Carcass” dropped the science:

Men can’t have gunts…by definition, they are a female phenomenon – a portmanteau of gut-cunt.

This man has a muffin-drop or gut-hang.

Between the instant ref stoppage and Waltmans going down like he was fighting Kimbo Slice I can’t vouch for the legitimacy of Respect Fighting Championship 6, so I’ll ask you to draw your own conclusions.

(About what to call his stomach, I mean.)

[h/t to Vince Mancini]