I had a great joke ready to go, but Bob’s Blitz beat me to it:

You had no idea that King Hippo was a real, live, MMA fighter, now did you?

It’s glorious. Just like the character from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, a fat, bald guy in gym shorts and gloves takes a few shots to the head from his opponent and feels no pain. So he starts raising his arms and opening his mouth, opening himself up for a free shot. That leaves him open, and he goes down to one well-placed punch. The only thing missing is the Hippo 8-bit blip scream and Great Tiger waiting in the wings. He should show up to his next fight with an X patch over his navel.

For an hilarious added bonus, wait until the 0:46 mark when some random guy comes flipping into the ring from the sky for no reason. I wish MMA was always this weird.

The best part of this Polish double knockout video is that it happened at an event called “MMA Night Of Champions”. If these are the champions, I’d hate to see the runners up. (via Cage Potato)

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Funny, Sexy, And Austin Cosplay Of The Week: The Best And Worst Of Wizard World Austin 2012 |Gamma Squad|

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If you enjoy one punch WMMA knockouts, here’s all 8 seconds of Kaline Medeiros vs Stephanie Eggink. I’m pretty sure that if you’re an MMA fighter, this is the worst you can do at your job. (via Cage Potato)

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The Troy Barnes Insult GIF Challenge |UPROXX|

The 10 Most Expensive TV Shows On Which To Air A 30-Second Commercial |Warming Glow|

The $100 million, underwater Chinese Avatar looks incredible |Film Drunk|

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As much as I’d like to take credit for that headline, YouTube user dannymorales82 beat me to it.

What you’re witnessing here is the very unfortunate thing that happened when Shai Lindsey took a flurry of shots from Carlo Junio, smiled about it and tried out his best Bane “come at me, bro” taunt. He gets kicked in the face, as anyone doing that taunt should, and after a few shots to the head the only people “coming at him” are trainers and medics. Poor guy. It’s embarrassing enough to be fighting at an event called “Tuff-N-Uff FestiBrawl”.

Open letter to the Shai Lindsey camp: next time he gets knocked out like that, have one of your guys swoop in with a bottle of hair dye. If you fix that crappy mohawk thing, maybe MMA guys won’t want to cave in his face so badly.

[h/t to Maggie Hendricks at Cagewriter]

On Friday, I wrote a piece for Progressive Boink ranking the 15 worst fighters in the 1988 film Bloodsport. After watching this video, seeing someone get knocked out by an exaggerated movie spin kick and watching 17 seconds of utter MMA futility, I might have to go back and add Keegan Hornstra to the list.

The fight starts around the 4:30 mark and is over two kicks later, so don’t blink. Bruce Boyington has more difficulty with the cage than with Keegan Hornstra.

Here’s to hoping the fans who paid to get into NEF Fight Night 3 found something fun to do with the rest of their night. Not a lot to do in Lewiston, Maine. Catch seafood in wire crates, watch guys get spin-kicked to death … yeah, I’m spent.

[H/T to Maine Lobster Mobster by way of MiddleEasy]

The best part of this Futsal argument escalating into a Muay Thai knockout (besides me learning what the hell “Futsal” is) is easily the YouTube commenter explaining his motivations:

This was in Russia , futsal 3rd division. I’ve asked the guy why he did that and he said he was pissed off because of the taunting on the missed tackle and being called gay.

I also would’ve accepted “he was told to stick a rubber hose up his nose so he shootkicked his opponent to death”. (via Sportress)

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Links

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