"ARMPITTTTTSSSS!!"

LOOK AT HIS ARMPITS, HO KOGAN

This week’s installment of This Week In Horrible-Looking People covers a wide range of WWF/WWE eras with a spotlight on ridiculous clothing. You’ll see guys in cow vests, guys in headbands with their names on them, sleeveless business suits, sleeveless fur coats and more. There’s at least once instance of a guy looking like he fell into a flock of geese and murdered them on impact.

So please, click through to enjoy 30 more of the worst, funniest, and most absurd pro wrestler 8×10 glossies ever.

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Our weekly look back through the best and worst of pro wrestling promo photos continues. If you missed week 1 and week 2, I encourage you to go back and check them out first, because otherwise you won’t be able to figure out my complexly layered jokes, like “Jeff Jarrett is terrible and looks like a monster.”

Week 3 encapsulates the last 20 years of WWE programming … legendary champions, beautiful Divas, the time Kane was a pro wrestling dentist and at least eight tag teams you’d completely forgotten about. Also, Steve Blackman holding weapons!

So please, click through to enjoy 50 more ridiculous WWE promo photos. If you don’t, Triple H is gonna look at you like that all day.

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WWE’s Royal Rumble 2013 goes down on January 27, and I think I speak for everyone when I say the best part of a Royal Rumble match is when they herd a wrestler in front of a green screen and tell him to explain off the top of his head why he’s gonna win. Very few things make a wrestling fan feel like a kid again like Hulk Hogan pointing with an open palm and yelling about vitamins in front of a horrible yellow background reading HULK HOGAN.

To prepare for the Rumble, I’ll be putting up a retro Best And Worst report (or two), but step one is the celebration of these promo montages. When the mid-90s hit they went the way of the dodo, but I’ve put together a gallery of some of the best from 89-96. If you only watch one thing, watch the video where swank 1995 Pamela Anderson gets weird voicemail messages from Doink the Clown about how he’s gonna nail her when he wins the Royal Rumble. Hell, even if you don’t like wrestling, watch that one.

Enjoy. If I missed one of your favorites, be sure to post it in our comments section below.

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WWE’s YouTube page provides a lot of fresh videos for the Best And Worst Of Raw column — mostly of the “here’s the last 20 seconds of a match, and the five minutes of wacky shouting that came after it” persuasion — but occasionally they dip into the archives and share something truly magical.

That’s the case with this video of pretty much everyone who competed at Survivor Series ’89 celebrating Thanksgiving by saying what they’re thankful for. It’s one of the most 1980s pro wrestling things I’ve ever seen, and so heartwarming that I decided to put together a quick list of my ten favorite things that happen in it. I’m thankful for goofy nostalgia, the fact that pro wrestling coverage has septupled our traffic and that the Ultimate Warrior exists, and was once asked to talk about Thanksgiving.

So, in no particular order …

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By way of reddit comes the kind of video only The Internet (capital letters) could produce. Almost four minutes of pro wrestlers from the 1980s and early 90s … well, I’ll let this describe it for me:

[Absolutely no Words] All except for Ric Flair at the end. We heard them yell, shout and scream. But, who ever pays attention when they take that deep breath before they shout it out? Nobody does except for me. Have fun.

Yep, wrestlers breathing. That’s a post. If I had to whip up a quick “Best And Worst”-style column about the video, it’d read something like this.

Best: The occasional use of non-WWF guys. Jimmy “Boogie Woogie Man” Valiant makes his With Leather debut! I met him at a gas station, once! Other bests include Ric Flair at 2:40 (all of it), The Ultimate Warrior sounding like he’s at lamaze class, and the The Artist-style ending.

Worst: How the hell is Rowdy Roddy Piper alive after almost 60 years of breathing like that?

We cover pro wrestling a little more than we should these days, because it turns out a lot of people want to read about fake fighting on legitimate comedy sports blogs and because more of us watched it when we were kids than we’d like to admit. Some of us still do, and have blogging jobs instead of working in an office somewhere and having the respect of anyone.

I’ve been looking for a way to follow-up on the WWF Legends Minimalist Poster Gallery from earlier this month, and pro wrestling personality/friend of the site Kyle Durden gave me a great idea … what’s more WWF and minimalist than actual pro wrestling promo 8x10s? Nothing, it turns out, especially if you find the ones from the late 1980s/early 1990s, after wrestling had been popular but before it got popular again. That’s a gold mine.

So here’s a look into the WWF promo photos gold mine. A preview of what you’ll find inside: Dusty Rhodes as a laughing garbage man, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake going from normal human being to crazy-eyed monster in four years and the Bushwhackers playing in somebody’s raked leaves. By the end of the gallery you may no longer be able to stand. That’s normal.

Let me know which ones are your favorites in the comments section below.

[all photos via ImageEvent]

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