In a new commercial that perfectly illustrates the value of wearing fuzzy pink boots made out of Muppet fur in public, UGG’s “Invisible Game” features New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady catching a pretend pass from a precocious child in an airport and engaging in a full-on tackle football in the concourse. Of course, the child prevails, catches a long bomb and pulls a Jerome Simpson in the endzone to (I guess) win the game. It’s cute, and because of it I’m suddenly okay wearing shoes that make me look like the Ultimate Warrior in front of strangers. UGG: the only shoe that describes itself.

Hopefully Funny Or Die has spent the last hour writing up a version of this with Brett Favre, or maybe one where Brady catches a pass from the kid’s mom and invisible fingerbangs her in the airport while everyone tries to get his autograph. That’s the only thing I can think of more unbearable than having kids pretend to throw footballs to you every time you’re trying to catch a plane for the rest of your life.

Forget about how Tom Brady can’t cut his hair or bring himself to have sex with average-looking women ever for just a second. I mean, that’s important, plowing the finest trim of the day, be it Bridget Moynahan or Gisele Whatzerface. The guy has so much to choose from not only with special lady friends, but with shoe deals, too. Within the span of a month, dude signed apparel deals with both Under Armour and UGG Australia, that damn company declaring war on foot fetishists everywhere. And yet nobody seems to have a problem with this.

Sure, the brands probably don’t have much of an overlap, but it still doesn’t answer how a guy can be the face of two distinct, almost opposite brands at once. Michael Jordan represents his own Nike brand, as well as Hanes among others, but Hanes doesn’t sell shoes and Nike doesn’t sell underwear, at least not the kind without that honey-combed padding, anyway. UA and UGG both produce footwear and outerwear, and Hair Boy put himself in a whole when he decided to be all things to both brands. When Brady sold his face to them, he really only sold half of it.

Consumers are making their decisions on the margin just like everyone else. What’s even more baffling is that Brady took a stake in Under Armour when he made that deal, only to marginalize it by signing on with competition. It makes no sense to me, but then again, I’m not banging Gisele. I have so much to learn…