This is a semi-regular thing that the Houston Rockets organization does: they have their mascot Clutch the Bear stand still for a while, then have him scare passersby who think he’s an inflatable dummy.  These videos — I’ve seen a few of them now — get old really fast.

And that’s what makes this one so much better.  By the end of the video, Clutch is getting kicked in the balls by kids and punched by adults.  It’s probably staged, but whatever, man.  Mascots getting their asses kicked always cheers me up.  It’s why I make my girlfriend wear a Phillie Phanatic costume.

[Basketbawful via Fan IQ]

Eastern Kentucky played Cincinnati to open the college football season on Thursday night, and the UC Bearcat parachuted into the stadium.  I think it went pretty well.  In fact, he was probably trying to get caught on that wire.  Mascots are always doing things like falling down and hitting themselves in the groin for our entertainment.  Look!  His little plush head is bleeding!  What a kidder!

[Hot Clicks]

NCAA Football — #18 Tennessee began its season on the road at UCLA, and left 0-1 after losing 27-24 in overtime.  Bruins quarterback Kevin Craft threw four interceptions in the first half alone, but rallied the team in the second half by not throwing more interceptions… After a thrilling 0-0 first half, Fresno State beat Rutgers 24-7 in New Jersey.  The Bulldogs were comfortable because Fresno is the New Jersey of California.

MLB — Cliff Lee handcuffed the White Sox in a five-hit shutout that improved his record to 20-2, becoming the Indians’ first twenty-game winner in Gaylord Perry 34 years ago.  Hee hee, Gaylord! … Arizona’s Stephen Drew and the Mariners’ Adrian Beltre both hit for the cycle last night, a statistical anomaly that hadn’t happened since Woodrow Wilson was president.  Great job on World War I, jerk… Greg Maddux picked up career win number 345, tying him for 8th with Roger Clemens on the “steroid-inclusive” list.

Beach Volleyball — One match removed from their gold medal run in the Olympics, Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh had their year-long 112-match winning streak snapped.  Don’t worry, ladies.  You still have each other.  (Maaaaaaaaaaaaake ouuuuuuuuuut.)

A lot of Americans put a pretty high premium on being on television, otherwise dipshits wouldn't show up to Good Morning America or TRL just to look like jackasses for the folks at home.  As you can see here, "local weatherman in Cincinnati dancing with a mascot and encouraging people to attend Reds games" ranks slightly below "douchebag getting belittled by Simon Cowell" and "Midwesterner waving in the background of a morning show" on the You Should Probably Kill Yourself Scale.

And look at that whore Rosie the Red.  Could her skirt be any shorter?  Mr. Met is gonna run through her like Matt Leinart in room full of ASU coeds. 

[Walkoff Walk] 

UCLA's annual Undie Run was last month, but LAist just now got around to giving us a full gallery of Bruin coeds frolicking around in lingerie.  That's the difference between LAist and me.  Them: "Hmmm… photos of UCLA students in underwear… Mark those 'low priority.'  We'll get to them whenever."  Me:  "Hello, Dad?  Yeah, public indecency again.  Can you wire me bail money?"

I really wish I'd known at age 17 that my entire professional career would consist of sweating my ass off in hostile climates and making stupid jokes online.  I probably didn't need a private school education on frigid-ass Lake Michigan for that.

This is a public service announcement for any of you kids in high school: Listen to me.  If you want to go to any college besides a state school with low admissions standards in a state where it's warm all year long, you're throwing four years of your life away.  Don't try to be smart and hang out with other smart people.  Just go to the gym and get tan and party with sexy young girls with no brains.  You'll be much happier living life as a douchebag, I promise.

Full gallery by Tom Andrews and Ryan D. Knight here.

What to watch for in this weekends biggest matchups.  One team or another in ALL CAPS.

ORIOLES over Nationals — I don't care what the mascots say, I'll take the team that didn't used to be the Expos. (photo from Nats320)

YANKEES over Mets — Johan pitches tonight for the Amazin's, but few teams can overcome the home-douche advantage at Yankee Stadium over the course of a weekend.

Spurs over HORNETS — Heh heh, the jinx is on, bitches.  Or rather: I don't think the jinx isn't not off.  *crosses fingers*

Padres over MARINERS – Over a decade of interleague play behind them, and the cities of San Diego and Seattle still hate each other as much as ever.

BOLT BUS over Chinatown Bus — Internet access and drivers who speak English.  SOLD.

And that's that for another week.  Your editors will be in and out next week, but With Leather shall continue apace with the usual slew of immature jokes and racy content.  Huzzah!