My feelings for Tyler Hansbrough can best be summed up by this classic Kids in the Hall sketch. For all I know, Hansbrough could be the nicest, sweetest guy in the world and the greatest teammate that any guy could ever play basketball with. But his face – I see it and I just start punching my monitor and OH GOD WHY DO I WANT TO PUNCH HIS FACE SO MUCH???

But I digress. Say what you want about Hansbrough, but his ability to get under his opponents’ skin is unparalleled, like a 2013 version of Dennis Rodman without all of the tattoos, piercings and venereal diseases. And Hansbrough’s best efforts were on display Saturday night, as the Indiana Pacers pummeled the Detroit Pistons for the second night in a row, but not before Will Bynum took a cheap shot at Hansbrough’s gut.

It’s not his face, but it’s a good start.

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When Orlando Magic and eventual Brooklyn Nets center Dwight Howard agreed to sign his one-year extension to “let the Magic try to keep him”, a lot of people were pissed off at Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade when he made fun of Howard on Twitter for his overzealous use of the word “loyalty”. But bless their silly hearts, Magic fans – *points to self, frowns* – believed that Howard really was giving his team a shot until they eventually learned that he only signed the deal to avoid a deadline trade to the Los Angeles Lakers. Loyalty indeed.

So imagine the response of the Internets yesterday when people revealed that Adidas and the NBA have been selling a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t-shirt all along. Yikes, talk about ironic. Even hipsters have a hard time purchasing that t-shirt online, donating it to the Goodwill and then begrudgingly buying it after they “find it” a few days later. But this shirt got me thinking: “What other absurd shirts could the NBA be pumping out to bilk devoted fans out of their hard-earned cash?”

*scratches spot on chin where hair would grow if he could grow facial hair, fires up Photoshop*

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Indiana Pacers reserve Lance Stephenson has made a name for himself twice in his NBA career. First, in 2010, he was arrested after shoving his girlfriend down a flight of stairs and then slamming her head against the bottom step as he left the home. While that’s hard to top, he reminded us that he still exists during Game 3 of the Eastern Conference semifinals, as he wrapped his hands around his throat to tell LeBron James what he thought of him.

As many people expected, Stephenson’s tactics had two results: 1) He caused James to explode for a combined 70 points in Games 4 and 5 to push the Heat to a 3-2 series lead, and B) The Heat’s role players were going head-hunting. Sure enough, Udonis Haslem and Dexter Pittman reminded the Pacers that they’re going to be disrespected underdogs for just a little bit longer.

First, Haslem laid a vicious hit on Tyler Hansbrough that earned the Heat big man a flagrant 1, but Pittman took the top prize with less than 20 seconds left in the game and a 27-point lead. Pittman could have just gone for an easy rebound, but he instead decided to rock Stephenson in the shoulder and neck with his elbow for a little, as the kids call it, how-do-you-do.

Needless to say, Pittman will likely be enjoying the rest of the playoffs from a couch, otherwise Metta World Peace might destroy a village.

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Indiana Pacers forward Tyler Hansbrough is the prototypical love him or hate him player. He’s energetic, intense and borderline obnoxious on the court, so fans of the team he plays for love him and those he plays against hate him. In the Pacers’ first round series against the Orlando Magic alone, he showed that even though his numbers are low coming off the bench, he contributes best by getting into opponents’ heads and causing them to make mistakes.

I’m also the perfect example of a basketball fan who typically hates Hansbrough, because I find his intensity more arrogant than infectious. But during this first round series, in which his Pacers defeated the Magic 4 games to 1, I learned to respect him more than I ever have. Originally, I thought that Hansbrough was just a mouth-breathing dolt, grunting and derping his way through games and awkwardly lunging for undeserved chest bumps and high fives.

I’ve now learned, though, that there’s so much more emotional and intellectual depth to this athletic warrior and I want to pay tribute to Hansbrough in order to once and for all crush the misconception that he’s anything but a winner.

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Here's UNC's Tyler Hansbrough dunking it in the face of 7'7" monster Kenny George of UNC-Ashsomething.  And this is just unfortunate.  Once again we see a smaller, more athletic white player maneuvering past the slow, lumbering black player who's only on the team for his size.  Man, I hate stereotypes.

(Thanks, flubby)