The Chicago Cubs, in a heated race to finish fourth in the National League Central and prove to the Pittsburgh Pirates that they are the better already-eliminated team, received a shocking blow yesterday when outfielder Tyler Colvin was struck in the chest by a shattered bat. Colvin will miss the rest of the season, earning him the distinction of third luckiest Cub behind Lou Piniella and Derrek Lee.
While playing the Florida Marlins, Colvin was running home when Welington Castillo hit a double and his bat broke, sending the bulk of it directly at Colvin, and the sharp, pointy, looks-like-it-would-really-f*cking-hurt-and-make-me-scream-like-a-girl end struck him in the chest, resulting in a puncture wound. Seriously, ouch. Colvin was taken to the hospital, where he is still being treated for pneumothorax, or a chest puncture for my DeVry classmates unfamiliar with hospital speak.
At least we can joke about it after the fact, right Chicago Breaking Sports?