The video you’re about to watch, for starters, isn’t sports-related, but is, however, very important in the sense that it reminds us all to remember where we came from and to never let fame get to our heads. I think that’s an incredibly important lesson for both celebrities and athletes alike, as we’ve seen so many awful stories about professional and collegiate athletes who have grown too big for their proverbial britches and thrown away such amazing talent.

Also, it allows me to go back to a story about a Super Bowl commercial and that’s all the sports-related measures that I need to prove to you nitpicking jackals.

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Forgive this escape from sports for a moment, but as always I will use the disclaimer that world records are competitive and can therefore be included on this site. Anywho, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Electric Boogaloo Part 1 was released on DVD in England over the weekend, so one promotional company, under the belief that Twihards needed extra incentive to go to great lengths to show their obsessive loyalty, decided that the occasion was perfect for a world record attempt.

That record? Longest gathering of “brides” in one location.

You see, my inside sources on Crazy Single Women Island tell me that the marriage of Edward and Bella takes place in Part 1, so it makes sense that girls would buy wedding dresses and gather in one place – HMV Oxford Street – to take pictures with cardboard cutouts and one Edward impersonator, who doesn’t exactly look like the type to use this to his advantage, if you catch my sparkly drift.

As with all Guinness World Record attempts, it will take a few days to determine whether or not the Twilight faithful were successful in defeating the previous record holders, who I ignorantly assume live in Utah.

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Previous reasons to say f**k “Kellan Lutz” include:

1. His role as Emmett Cullen in Twilight
2. His role as Emmett Cullen in The Twilight Saga: New Moon
3. His role as Emmett Cullen in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
4. His role as Emmett Cullen in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Parts I, II, and IIb
5. His role as Indistinguishable Muscular Hunk on the least cared about show on television, other

That’s his entire filmography. Well, that and Lax Bros: The Movie. Anyway, you probably haven’t read this far, but that’s him in the above image standing beside Kate Upton and Kate Upton’s nipples. If you click it it gets bigger. The bigger image is courtesy of The Superficial and/or what I’m imagining in secret whenever Twilight is on.

As if a person who is not me Burnsy? you standing next to a braless Kate Upton isn’t enough, it gets worse: this is a candid taken during a commercial shoot for Kellan Lutz’s clothing line, Abbott +. No, I don’t know why Kellan Lutz has a clothing line. I don’t know why his clothing line has a plus sign in it, either. I would’ve called it “Clothez”.

Unfortunately, people snapping candids at Kellan Lutz commercial shoots are only concerned with Kellan Lutz, so all the photos are of him just sorta smiling in sunglasses while Kate stands around in the partial background. We will, of course, update with photos and video as it develops. If they made her change clothes, so help me God.

Additionally:

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Links

Direct Messaging For UPROXX Commenters Is Here! - I’m still not 100% on why this is necessary, but hey, new feature! [UPROXX]

The Best Of #Troy And Abed - Cool. Cool cool cool. [UPROXX]

Re-Take: 25 Celebs Playboy Should Have Spent A Million Bucks On - Some of these are great, but come on, Christina Hendricks? She’s pretty, but the Playboy Photoshoppers would break their hands. [Smoking Section]

If Your 5 Favorite Memes Offered Online Degrees - None of these are as funny as the Education Connection Girl. “I WENT on the inter-NET!” Fantasy threesome: me, Flo from Progressive, the Education Connection lady. [Gamma Squad]

James Franco Reviewed Twilight - So did I. “Twilight is terrible, everybody knows that, right? Okay, the end.” [Film Drunk]

Game of Thrones Teaser Trailer: Needs More Tyrion Bitch-Slapping Joffrey - I was going to watch season one of ‘Game Of Thrones’, but then I took an arrow in the knee. [Warming Glow]

This Jim Henson Tribute Art Show Rainbow Connects With Our Hearts - Argh, my heart. Seriously, even pictures of Jim Henson make me want to burst into tears now. [UPROXX]

The Best And Horrifically Worst Of The 2011 Air Sex World Championships - In case you missed it yesterday, here are a few of the bravest people in Texas making love to ghosts. [With Leather]

Plastic Bag Turns Boring TV Interview Into Must-See TV - This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. [The FW]

Friendly Waving Bear Is Friendly, Waving - I don’t know if Reddit knows it or not, but YouTube is FULL of videos of bears waving. I’m surprised this isn’t a thing already. [High Definite]

Game Over: The Greatest Video Game Maneuver Ever Accomplished - Like every story you’ve heard someone tell a cashier at Gamestop come to life. Let’s get the Mythbusters or whoever to see if somebody could do this in real life. [Unreality]

25 Things You Didn’t Know About Three Amigos - haha I didn’t know there were 25 THINGS about Three Amigos. [Moviefone]

The 10 Most Bad Ass Movie Posters of 2011 - Somehow “Harry Potter looking at Voldemort” got called “bad ass”. We have weird standards. [Pajiba]

Funny what you notice the first time you see a movie trailer. Hairlessly handsome white folk, narration that makes it sound like the first paragraph of a freshman essay … what’s impossible to know at first glance [dramatic pause] is everything else. Aaaand wipe!

Twilight’s Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene re-team in a story of young love and the true meaning of sportsmanship and life. Co-starring Chord Overstreet. Coming to select theaters and on Video On Demand December 2nd!

WWE Studio films have taught me that “coming to select theaters” is code for “Wal-Mart doesn’t sell direct-to-DVD movies so we’re releasing it in four theaters for a day”. I’m glad they’re doing it, too, because this movie has it all… Ashley Greene’s weird coke nose, Kellan Lutz not having armpit hair but being able to karate kick down a building, inaccurately played lacrosse … hell, it has everything you could hope for in a movie. Except a black person.

Wait, sorry, there are two black ladies in the crowd near the end. I didn’t notice them because my brain was recovering from “I know everyone faces hardship in life …it just seems like some people … are act’ally made SHRONGER by it”.

Links

God Helps Those Who Get Helped By Great Defense And Mistakes By The Opposition - Tim Tebow teaches us that for all the stats and arguments in the world, all you have to do to succeed is win football games. God bless our special little man. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The Russian Toe Hold That Will Kill Us All - This is what you get for fighting with your shoes off. [Cage Potato]

Why We Must Save ‘Community’: The Venn Diagram - Unfortunately “an increased role on ‘Mad Men’ for Trudy” is a good reason to NOT save Community. Pete and Trudy should be the main characters, and we should check in on Don pridefully weeping in California every third or fourth episode. [UPROXX]

The Top 5 Tablets For Holiday 2011 - Alka-Seltzer had better be on this list, am I right, folks? [Smoking Section]

Tell Your Dad: There’s A ‘Mork & Mindy’ Porn - The best part is the continuity that at some point, one of the porn stars becomes pregnant with Zelda Williams. [Film Drunk]

Crotchless Panties. You Know, For The Kids - This’ll go really great with the Lingerie Football kids league. [Warming Glow]

The NY Times Continues Its Hilarious War On Taylor Lautner - I turned on him the second Shark Boy (the wrestler) sued, so good riddance to bad, totally hairless rubbish. [UPROXX]

5 Captain Planet Episodes That Went Horribly Wrong - I hate people who say cartoon characters are hot, but if I could have sex with one animated lady it would be Dr. Blight from Captain Planet. Also on that list, Gadget from Rescue Rangers. She looks like Shawn Johnson. [Gamma Squad]

Ryan Gosling Fans Protest Outside People Magazine Headquarters - It’s pretty great that the one time my generation decides to protest, everyone else turns it into a meme. [Buzzfeed]

Tyler Perry Says That Tyler Perry Casting Kim Kardashian In A Tyler Perry Movie About Marriage Was A Really Good Idea By Tyler Perry - Also a good idea by Tyler Perry: having Mr. Brown do “yo mama” jokes about Madea while he plays double-dutch. [FARK]

Six Everyday Items That Should Require a License to Operate - “Keyboard”. [The Smoking Jacket]

Starrcade’s Main Events: Sting vs. The Black Scorpion (1990) - If you missed it yesterday, here’s me on the Wrestlespective podcast providing some wrestle-perspective on an old, sorta-bad match. Check it out and find out how great I am in real life. [Fair To Flair]