photo via @baldvinny

There’s always a $230 million payroll in the banana stand.

If you haven’t heard, the folks at Netflix have been sending the legendary big yellow joint/Bluth company frozen banana stand around New York City to promote May 26th’s ‘Arrested Development’ season 4 premiere. This act, by itself, gives season 4 of ‘Arrested’ 100% more promotion than it had in three seasons at Fox.

Courtesy of @BaldVinny comes this pic of the stand outside of Yankee Stadium, qualifying it as “sports” enough for me to write about it here, and possibly add it as the show’s 16th best sports moment.

New working theory: Alex Rodriguez needed hip surgery because he ran into The Wall.

UFC has evolved a lot over the last 20 years, but the game stay the game.

I don’t get a lot of opportunities to write about ‘The Wire’ on a comedy sports blog, so I’m taking every opportunity I get. Back in August I put together the 15 greatest sports moments from the show in a Sports On TV column, and I’ve devoted more than one episode of The Dugout to recapping the show verbatim.

For whatever reason, a wonderful person on the Internet put together a UFC intro video in the style of ‘The Wire’s’ opening credits, and while I would’ve went with the season 4 version of the song, it’s amazing. Actually, has anybody done a nu metal cover of ‘Way Down In The Hole?’ That’d be even better.

[h/t to MiddleEasy]

I am currently writing about sports from a hotel room in Philadelphia. My girlfriend graduates from Penn State this morning, and I’m in town to mark this very special occasion in her life. The reason I’m mentioning that here is because of the weird thing going on where I leave Texas and important things happen. The last time I left Texas for a few days, the Boston Marathons got bombed and a plant blew up near Waco.

Sometimes, great things happen. For example, I leave Texas for JUST A MOMENT and Norman The Scooter Dog has shown up to throw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers game and be a dog who rides around on a goddamn scooter all day. Motherf**ker.

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington will be filled with the sounds of cracking bats and barking dogs this evening, as the Texas Rangers hold their annual Bark in the Park event at the stadium.

People can dress their dogs in their best Rangers gear and strut it out on the field during a pre-game parade. The top five best-dressed pooches get a prize. (Registration has already closed for Bark in the Park, so if you haven’t registered, don’t just show up at the ballpark with your dog.)

This year, the event gets a little twist, as Norman, a multi-talented dog who stars in the Hallmark Channel series ‘Who Let the Dogs Out,’ will “throw” the ceremonial first pitch. (via Whatever)

If you aren’t as familiar with Norman as I am, yes, you read that correctly: Norman is a dog who rides scooters and shit, but he is also the star of a Hallmark Channel show named after the Baha Men. Who has the HALLMARK CHANNEL, anyway? That network should just be stillframes of greeting cards and puppet shows with Hummel figurines.

Deadspin has a clip of Norman scootering around the park, which is enough to make me angry at my absence, but I can’t wait to see him throw out the first pitch. I’ll update with video of that as soon as its available.

Until then, please enjoy this Friday-friendly assortment of Norman videos. You’re welcome.

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Are we havin’ fun yet?

If you don’t follow golf, Australian golfer Adam Scott won The Masters after a clutch playoff putt and is now the protagonist of one of the greatest sports photos ever. If you don’t follow NBC comedy, Adam Scott (no relation) is one of the stars of the best — or, at least, the nicest — shows on television, ‘Parks and Recreation.’ You may also remember him from ‘Party Down,’ or from his run as the Fonzie of ‘Boy Meets World.’

They are not the same dude, but what the Internet presupposes is, maybe they are?

Adam Scott The Actor went on ‘Conan’ last night to clear up the confusion. Video is after the jump.

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Please forgive my inability to identify baseball video games, since the only games that I play are old school Final Fantasy re-releases for the iPad because I’m a ballllllller. Nevertheless, this bro was getting a quick nine innings in recently as his dog looked on, and I assume that the video game umpire made a call that he didn’t like or the dog couldn’t believe that his owner didn’t swing at that meatball pitch.

Either way, TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! But a huge tip of the cap to the gentleman for his reflexes, because I love my dog more than anything, but a broken TV? That’s at least a one-week belly rub ban, featuring no cookie bones until a Day 5 parole hearing.

However, and this is a rare case of me considering animal-on-TV violence, if my dog chose to freak out and attack the TV over a real-life bad call, I could probably make exceptions. For instance, if I were a Tampa Bay Rays fan and had been watching this call live…

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If there’s one thing fans of ‘Game Of Thrones’ love, it’s dubstep. And if there’s one thing fans of dubstep love, it’s Carmelo Anthony. Not sure how Carmelo Anthony fans and ‘Game Of Thrones’ fans relate, but I’m going to assume there’s a 100% overlap.

So … yeah, ‘Game Of Thrones’ season 3 premieres on HBO on March 31, and nothing has gotten me hyped quite like a guy who has no possible idea what Game Of Thrones is sitting on a prop from the show, holding a basketball, talking about great wars. Because, get it, wars where you cut peoples’ guts out are just like Knicks games. They both involve an imp, too, if you count Spike Lee.

Here’s the clip. Spoiler alert: Khaleesi brings the Miami Heat across the Narrow Sea and torches New York.

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