During the late 1990s and early 2000s, anyone related to a pop singer could become a success. Britney Spears’ little sister got her on television show, the little brothers of Backstreet Boys got record deals, Jessica Simpson’s uglier, somehow even less talented little sister got her on television show AND a record deal, the list goes on and on. One of the touchstones of late-90s pop nepotism (popotism? I should write for Pitchfork) was the two platinum albums (!!) of Aaron Carter. He rode the fame of his older brother Nick to temporary heartthrob status, so much so that one time I happened to go to Kings Dominion on the same day Aaron Carter was performing and didn’t get on ANYTHING because every square inch of the grounds was covered in homemade t-shirted 11-year olds. It got pretty bad, for a while.

Anyway, Aaron’s greatest achievement was his attempt at a Will Smith Vs. Mike Tyson-style rap showdown with then-Los Angeles Lakers star Shaquille O’Neal. In the song, Aaron brags to his friends about how he beat Shaq. It’s called ‘That’s How I Beat Shaq.’ It wasn’t written by Dostoevsky.

Here’s a quick recap, in case you missed it:

It’s like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming
out jam (jam)
I swear that I’m telling you the facts
Cuz that’s how I beat Shaq

Thanks to some wonderful combination of God existing and TruTV, Aaron Carter and Shaq got together recently for a rematch, and it went a lot like it should’ve the first time. Justin Bieber, get ready for a harrowing look into your future. You’ve got campy videos where people try to remember you and Kim Kardashian coming up in like 13 years.

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Do you like viral videos, especially ones about baby kittens named ‘Little Noodles’ palling around with guinea pigs? Would you like them more if you saw them on television instead of the Internet? Would you like them even more if someone cut to footage of Shaq laughing after it? You’re in luck, on all three counts, oddly!

Shaq is getting his own viral videos show on truTV called ‘Shaq.0′ Web Junk 32 Shaq Vs. Dramatic Chipmunk ‘Upload with Shaquille O’Neal’.

“Shaquille O’Neal has such a great personality, and he really has a lot of fun with the format and the material in this new truTV series,” said Marc Juris, executive vice president and chief operating officer of truTV. “We’re really excited to be working with Shaq and the outstanding production team.”

“I’ve been a fan of truTV for a long time and I look forward to working with my good friends Gary Owen and Godfrey. I’ve always tried to entertain people and I know this show will deliver big laughs,” said Shaquille O’Neal.

Godfrey! Thank goodness we’ve got somebody involved with experience going “heh, gayyyy” after clips of old things to reign in Shaq’s sense of humor. Anyway, does this sound like a show you’d want to watch, or another show starring Shaq? Let us know in the comments section. Also let us know what you’d call a Shaq viral videos show, because ‘Upload with Shaquille O’Neal’ is pretty boring.

My pick: ‘I Love Watching Shaq Remember Glo Worm’.

[h/t That NBA Lottery Pick]

This week’s With Spandex guest is Veda Scott, a talented young wrestler who you may’ve seen interviewing stars backstage at Ring Of Honor, hyping upcoming events from the CHIKARA offices or competing in the ring everywhere from Beyond Wrestling in the Northeast to Absolute Intense Wrestling in the Midwest. Oh, and she just graduated from law school.

In episode 4 we laugh about concussions, talk about Veda’s announcement as one of the eight women competing in Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s American Joshi Queen Of Queens tournament, throw shade at community college documentary filmmaking classes, discuss our favorite episodes of ‘Forensic Files’, compare and contrast our identical housecats, complain extensively about Kings Dominion turning three great old rides into one terrible super coaster and the value of pro wrestling perfection. It was a great conversation. About 20 minutes of it in the middle is nothing but bar exam study questions.

Go ahead and give it a listen. You love her already.

Subscribe to With Spandex on iTunes (finally) here: With Spandex on iTunes

RSS Feed: With Spandex

Direct download of the episode here: With Spandex Episode 4 – Veda Scott

Follow Veda on Twitter: @itsvedatime
For more information on the ACW Queen of Queens tournament: American Joshi Queen Of Queens
For more information on CHIKARA’s Chikarasaurus Rex iPPV and free Veda-filled pre-show: Chikarasaurus Rex

Podcast notes:

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From the orange goblin in bright yellow underwear that pioneered Hulk Hogan’s Pastamania, Hulk Hogan And The Wrestling Boot Band and Hulk Hogan Meat Shoes (not a real thing) comes a fantastic idea sure to thrill and entertain all of 2011′s rational, free-thinking adults: a midget pro wrestling reality show. This isn’t an “idea” as much as an actual show that is already scheduled to exist.

Here’s your introduction via a press release from truTV, a channel that used to be about court and is now just the same bullsh** from every other channel:

The following is a rundown of truTV’s new and returning series for 2011:

Hulk Hogan’s MCW – New series premieres Wednesday, Sept. 14, at 10 p.m. (ET/PT)
Hulk Hogan, one of the legendary stars of pro wrestling, believes you need to start small if you want to win big. Now he’s lending his expertise to the new Micro Championship Wrestling, where he gives little wrestlers advice on recruiting, training and mentoring. It’s all with the goal of getting the MCW off the ground and into the arena. Hulk Hogan’s MCW comes to truTV from Bischoff-Hervey Entertainment.

At no point did somebody point out that having a 60 year old man organize a show where differently-abled people pretend to fight is a bad idea. Nobody ever pointed out that suspension of disbelief is the only thing that makes wrestling work, and when you make a reality show about people pretending to fight it fundamentally destroys that. The worst part is that nobody during the planning, preproduction or production stages of this show pointed out that Hogan is currently in charge of an ACTUAL pro wrestling program on SpikeTV overflowing with legitimate, able-bodied and sometimes legendary pro wrestlers that has never been popular, successful or made a goddamned lick of sense.

I guess it makes sense in context, considering that the other two shows announced in the press release are a New Jersey repo reality show and something called “Impractical Jokers” about improv comedians doing “crazy social experiments”. They also picked up “Wipeout” and are bringing back “Full Throttle Saloon” for its third season. So, there you go.