With All-Star Weekend’s magnificent machete fights behind us, NBA fans can go back to focusing on the only thing that matters: Jeremy Lin. And after that, they can also wonder, “Hey, what’s going to happen to Dwight Howard?” Because with the NBA trade deadline just two weeks away, we’re about to head face first into the shallow end of the unsubstantiated rumor pool. Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson and Hedo Turkoglu for Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol? Sure. Because the Lakers have formed an empire on stupidity.

But Magic fans haven’t given up hope just yet – well, I have, but I’m a natural pessimist – and they’ve begun the 6th stage of Superstar Departure Denial: song writing. Local musician Jeff Wilson (HUGE fan… *wank wank*) organized some local fans, including the Fat Guy (but not Old Sweater Vest Guy, which is disappointing), for “Let’s Fight for Dwight.” If anything, it’s effort.

Stay tuned for my debut Magic song, “Let’s Hit Otis with a Torpedotis.”

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BEHOLD!

If ever we hoped for God* to be a sports fan, let’s hope that he was wearing his giant foam finger yesterday as he browsed the Internet and checked the news at the Global Language Monitor. Because I can only imagine the almighty spitting out his morning coffee while reading the news that Tebowing is now officially a word. The act of kneeling down and expressing your thoughts to your holy being – otherwise known as praying – is now universally known as Tebowing, thanks to what the GLM refers to as the “six-week rise of the Global Phenomenon.” And you know it’s legit, because the GLM says it’s legit.

Though there is no official agency for accepting new words (or neologisms) into the English lexicon such as France’s Académie française, since 2003 the Global Language Monitor has been recognizing new words once they meet the criteria of a minimum number of citations across the breadth of the English-speaking world, with the requisite depth of usage on the Internet, in social media and in the top 75,000 global print and electronic media.

BOOM! WORDED! Now, while we wait for news that the Westboro Baptist Church plans to spend the rest of eternity protesting the Denver Broncos – or maybe they’ll just say, F*ck it and start worshipping Tim Tebow, too – I dug up the Interweb’s latest offerings of YouTube tributes to the man who is 7-1 as the Denver Broncos’ quarterback. Consider it our donation to the Cult of Tebow. Enjoy your Kool-Aid, friends.

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