Last week, we discussed Giancarlo Guida, the Auburn grad and former Tigers rugby player who had a massive tattoo of Toomer’s Corner inked on his back, as that was one diehard fan’s way of saying goodbye to those iconic oak trees that were so heinously murdered by Alabama fan Harvey Updyke, Jr. And as Updyke prepares for his upcoming jail stint, thousands of Auburn students, alumni and fans gathered on campus over the weekend to pay their final tributes and respects to the trees by “rolling” them one more time.

Basically, people toilet papered the hell out of the dead and dying branches, as had long been a school tradition. Now, though, it will likely be replaced by simply using the toilet paper for wiping butts. In fact, can we talk about that for a second? When I was in college, I had to lock up my toilet paper because it was more valuable than gold. Yet here are all of these people just throwing it around like it’s nothing. Perhaps it’s just the sign of different times, but in my day we wouldn’t have been so wasteful.

Sure, there’s also an absurd irony in decorating dead trees by wasting paper, but this is sports and people are idiots when it comes to college football. So celebrate with the Auburn fans on… Earth Day? Geez.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last month we introduced you to the McDowell County Giant Bucky Boyd, a 7-foot, 400-pound West Virginia toughman with an ill-placed boner, a basic knowledge of video editing and a line delivery that made his rematch with “Tree” a must-see encounter. It was innocent and honest. The kind of thing you’d expect to see from a local, backwoods fight promotion. Then, like so much Michelle Jenneke, the Internet got a hold of it.

Suddenly, Bucky Boyd was a “star.” Instead of being a weird, goofy sounding guy with a camera in front of him, Bucky became a guy trying to get over by being a guy in front of a camera. He started playing up his schtick, recording three (!) follow-up videos to further explain why TREE WILL FALL, and while they were funny enough, they weren’t really the same. It’s the difference between a guy putting a tampon in a teacup to express himself and being discovered as a brilliant artist, and a guy who won’t stop putting tampons in teacups and trying to sell them on Etsy. Does that make sense? God, I hope this doesn’t make me a Bucky Boyd hipster.

Anyway, let’s revisit those clips. They’re all important in the grand build to the Tree rematch (Treematch?) from Friday. Yes, we’ve got video of that, too.

Read the rest of this entry »

West Virginia fight promoters put on an annual event called the ‘Rough N’ Rowdy Brawl,’ a boxing showdown for amateurs within a 50-mile radius of whichever city hosts the card. To help stir up buzz for the Brawls, they ask the fighters to record short, to-the-point hype videos about how tough and great they are. Now, if you read those two sentences and decided “hype videos for people within 50 miles of an amateur West Virginia toughman competition are probably a comedy goldmine,” OH MAN, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

Meet Bucky Boyd, a 7-foot Welch, WV, gent who feels he was wronged in his previous fight against a guy called The Tree. Important note: this is not pro wrestling.

“McDowell Co. Giant” Bucky Boyd of Welch, WV will be fighting in the heavyweight division at the Rough N’ Rowdy Brawl in Bluefield, WV at the Brushfork Armory on Nov. 9-10. Bucky is 7’0″ tall and 400 lbs. He wants a rematch with 7’0″ tall, 266 lbs. “The Tree” Daniel Shrewsbury who he fought in Welch. More info at http://www.boxingcontest.com/

The absolutely must-watch video is after the jump. Please don’t miss this. I don’t care if you skip past our next 10 Taiwanese Animation video shares and bikini galleries, just make sure you’ve heard Billy Boyd talk, and share it with everyone you’ve ever met.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re familiar with our A Guide to Recognizing Your Mascots series (specifically the Northwest League edition) you’re familiar with Eugene Emeralds mascot “Sluggo”, a chatty, lime-green bear with abandonment and voyeurism issues. It should come as no surprise to you that Sluggo has now made National News™ by instructing a child to kick a tree in the gonads because he lost a game of musical chairs.

The moment happened during the Emeralds’ “Blue Balls Night” promotion last month and marred the event, Eugene’s second most popular promotion behind “Cockblock Saturdays”. Two ball boys engage in a game of musical chairs with secondary mascot “Douglas Fir”. Douglas cheats to win, shoving one of the little boys out of the seat at the last minute, and because we’re a part of a weird society that rewards horrible behavior in young people, Sluggo blatantly instructs the kid to boot DF between the roots. The announcers even call it “karma”. Shaking my damn head, Eugene Emeralds.

I think true karma would be for Douglas Fir to die and for those kids eventually suffocate to death because they chopped him down and f**ked their own air supply.

[h/t Off the Bench]