Welp, now I know what I want for Christmas. A remote controlled car that is also a F**KING TRANSFORMER FOR REAL? When I was five, this is what I imagined future kids would play with. I’d say “take my money” if I thought I had enough to cover it. (via The Daily What)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

15 Badass Aldo Raine GIFs To Remind You That Brad Pitt Is Pretty Good At Playing A Badass |UPROXX|

Aaron Paul Is Really Excited About The Final Season Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

A Brilliant Letter from Bruce Lee in Honor of His Birthday |Film Drunk|

Meet Con Bro Chill, Lacrosse’s ‘Personality Of The Year’ And The King Of All Bros |With Leather|

Don Cheadle Returns As A Psychotic Captain Planet, And Trees Are Still His Jam |Gamma Squad|

Built For The Streets: 10 Classic Black And White Videos From The ’90s |Smoking Section|

Some Cowboys Fans Want Obama To Forcibly Remove Jerry Jones |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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via UnathleticMag.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Feminist Jay-Z Is In A Respectful State Of Mind - I appreciate what Jay is trying to do and don’t think we should make fun of it, but Sweet Cooch Brown having the “bombest personality in town” is really funny. P.S. why didn’t you start respecting women when you met your wife? [UPROXX]

NBA Laboratory: Can LeBron Do It All By Himself? - More entertaining and thematically accurate than anything LeBron has done in real life. Robert Awful would be proud. [SB Nation]

Summer Roberts Will Rock Your Pap Smear - I don’t care how pretty Rachel Bilson is (and she’s extremely pretty), being Zach Braff’s worst movie girlfriend and spending 15 years on White People Problems The Show isn’t a cool way to convince me you’re good at things. You’d have less haters if anything you did was good, ever. [Warming Glow]

The Awesome Terminator And Transformers Cosplay Of Peter Kokis - This guy’s thought process is great. “Oh wow, cool, giant robots. I need to DRESS LIKE THEM.” [Gamma Squad]

My 5 Favorite Rapper Cameos On “Chappelle’s Show” - Mos Def is the best rapper cameo on anything, but that could be my undying love for Def Poetry showing. [Smoking Section]

Frotcast 83: Wahlberg-gate, Carnage, & Theater Stories with Comedian Matt Louv - Hey Mark Wahlberg, I wouldn’t masturbate either if I got to meat-kiss teenage Reese Witherspoon in the 90s. Put your life into perspective. COME ON COME ON. [Film Drunk]

Valentine’s Day Advisory: The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag - I need to start using that dismissive wank gif. Just all the time, post stories about the Kardashians or Bieber dunking on Shaq or Baron Davis or almost anyone that brings page traffic and it’s nothing but the wanking gif. [KSK]

35 Unforgivable Facebook Statuses - Some of these took my breath away. I didn’t know a Facebook status could make you facepalm in real life. [Buzzfeed]

The Funniest Twitter Reactions To Rick Perry’s Exit - The best reaction to Rick Perry’s exit is smiling and loving yourself, because you aren’t the kind of person who supports Rick Perry and live in a world where he doesn’t get to be President. Eat a dick, Rick Perry. [HuffPost Comedy]

7 Eerily Accurate Rob Lowe Tweets - He is, literally, God here. [The FW]

Ever Wonder What Snooki Would Look Like Without Makeup? - I think she looks way, way better. Huge upgrade. She looks her age, and doesn’t look like something from Ghoulies. [FARK]

Enjoy the Awesome Introduction Video for the O’Neill Girls 2012 Surf Team - I will! [Brobible]

It looks like Funny Or Die has officially embraced the longstanding Tosh.0 tradition of cramming your funny video full of sports celebrities to get it covered everywhere on the Internet — just a week after they recast Dennis Haysbert as Terrence Mann in a Twilight-flavored Field of Dreams sequel, Funny Or Die has revisited the Kenny Powers K-Swiss endorsement by having him take over the company and stock it with everyone from Matt Cassel to Rey Mysterio.

Watch the full video below, with two major warnings:

1. It is extremely funny, and
2. It features Kenny Powers, so please anticipate the foul language and adult situations that result.

This includes boob mugs and high-fiving dead animals.

Because this is also television related, be sure to head over to Warming Glow and watch all the awesome follow-up and behind-the-scenes videos that go along with it. Who knew you could bottle the scent … of boner?

[h/t Cajun Boy]

Last year I spent the 4th of July sitting on a blanket on a hillside in the shadow of the Iwo Jima memorial, watching fireworks explode over D.C. This year I’m in Texas, and drought conditions means all local fireworks have been canceled. I feel it is my constitutional right to watch things explode, and will not post another word until this happens.

Sports

House of Punte Podcast - If you’re too tired to read, click over and listen to my second ever podcast appearance, wherein I talk to Punte about CM Punk, Our Gang, and how much better I am than Larry Brown of Larry Brown Sports. Just kidding on that last one, I’m terrible. And I didn’t talk enough about Our Gang. [House of Punte]

MLB Records at the Halfway Point, and What They Say About Your Team’s Playoff Chances - I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing since two months before the season began and call the Indians the “win-dians” and declare them World Series (and possibly Super Bowl) champs. It’s working so far. [SBN]

The Dugout: Frankruptcy! - If you left the office early on Friday you might’ve missed this Dugout, which is about the Frank McCourt thing but also barely about Frank McCourt. It helps if you know Spanish, and are easily outraged by Spanish language inaccuracies. Also, jokes about Fry Guys. [The Dugout]

Nike Re-Signs Michael Vick - A commenter on my post about Vick winning a BET award said I was misinformed, or “at worst a supporter of heinous crimes” for thinking violence against animals other than dogs was important. Nike has cut out the middle-man and given Vick the equivalent of about 2 billion BET awards. Go troll them instead! [Smoking Section]

Not Sports

Starz Cancels Eva Green’s Boobs - Eva Green should have Paz de la Huerta’s job. Also, here’s my pitch for a new show on Starz (or Showtime or HBO): it’s about America in the time of Eli Whitney, and chronicles the creation of the cotton gin, but also involves mythological monsters and tons of assf**king and stars the most Hispanic women I can find. [Warming Glow]

Jay Pharoah Does the Best (Insert Black Celebrity Here) - I want to be friends with Jay Pharoah just to make him do entire episodes of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air for me at parties. You know he can mimic literally anybody on that show, even Ashley. JUST MINE YA BIDNESS, JUST MINE YA BIDNESS etc. [Uproxx]

Review: Transformers Dark Side of the Moon - Here’s my review: I paid to see the first one out of nostalgia and got 2 1/2 hours of crap and like 40 seconds of awesome Starscream. I paid to see the second one based on that, and got robot balls and racist jokes that were probably also about balls. For me twice, won’t get fooled again. [Film Drunk]

Want to Play a New Zelda Game? On Your PC? - I would like to play any Zelda game that comes out within a year of its announcement and doesn’t get pushed back forty times. I still haven’t forgiven them for Twilight Princess. [Gamma Squad]

The Morning Links section is all about spreading the love to our friends, peers and Network At Large, but today the sports section is going to be all about With Leather. I feel like we’ve been doing a great job since I came on, and if you disagree I am going to jam material down your throat until it comes out your backside.

And then it will read something like Bleacher Report.

Sports

The Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport - If you missed this from last week, you’re really missing out. Punte’s story of disdain toward a BMX biker who cares more about breakfast than competition is outstanding, and the kind of thing that should have 1500 comments. [With Leather]

Gilbert Arenas Really Loves Planking - He does, apparently. Burnsy’s gallery explores the joys of lying on things that aren’t comfortable in situations that could prove sociall awkward. Hilarity ensues! And yes, it looks like he’s parking in handicap spots. [With Leather]

Mexican Soccer Fans Are Boorish Animals: A First-Hand Account - Matt Ufford was the King of With Leather in its infancy, and this kind of thing is why. For extra fun, join in the comments discussion, where you will be called a “dumbass” and an “idiot” no matter WHAT you think. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 6/27 - If you have typed the words “probably” and “worked shoot” into a sentence in the last two days, you need to read this column. Then, don’t ever write about wrestling on the Internet again. [With Leather]

Not Sports
Okay, now about the other people

Lady Gaga Is A Panda Now - I still appreciate Gaga’s madness, but part of me wishes she’d spent longer in that sweet spot when she was carrying around a teacup and wearing Mickey Mouse sunglasses all the time. She was still hot and super weird, but she hadn’t started digivolving into mantises and Asian beasts. [Uproxx]

BBQ’s & Boomboxes: 25 Essential Summer Songs - Sometimes I really wish I wrote for The Smoking Section. It’s so much cooler than what I get to do. They get to write about “Illmatic”. I have to write about David Eckstein. Wait, hold on, this list has the Kings of Leon on it, nevermind, they are the David Eckstein of popular music. [Smoking Section]

Fun with RottenTomatoes Career Graphs - It’s not surprising to see Chuck Norris and Jennifer Love Hewitt as the worst actor and actress of all time based on science. I still forgive Love for Can’t Hardly Wait, and I’m sure one day she’s going to show up on Entertainment Tonight and be all “oh wait, hey guys, here’s a well-lit porno I taped when I was 22, enjoy”. [Film Drunk]

Ten Toys That ‘Transformed’ Into Television Shows - All I cared about when I was little was He-Man’s Bashasaurus vehicle “transforming” me into a kid who owned the He-Man Bashasaurus. I feel like I would’ve hated these Transformers movies when I was five about as much as I do now. [Warming Glow]

Apparently the artist formerly known as Optimus Prime is a fan of poorly thrown footballs because he’s changed his allegiances from the protector of all humankind to the number one fan of the Seattle Seahawks. Decepticons everywhere will be sleeping a little snugger tonight knowing that the mightiest of all Autobots is now spending his days sexy dancing behind a couple of horrible white rappers as they crow about Steve Largent and their tattoos of the number twelve.

Though the rapping becomes unbearable after about a minute, the sight of a transformer gyrating around a suburban hedge makes me quite giddy. The fact that humanity is back at risk because one of the Autobots discovered football does not, but I’ll take the good with the bad. Plus this probably means Transformers III is probably cancelled, and another movie without Shia LaBeouf is another movie I can get behind.

VIDEO AFTER JUMP
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