Awesome story coming out of the Meadowlands: the New York Jets are still looking for a replacement for Jim Leonhard, their gritty defensive back that was placed on IR three days ago. They put a call out to Kevin Fitzhugh, a safety that spent part 2009 on the Jets practice squad and was in their training camp this summer. Fitzhugh, looking at a chance to start for a playoff-contending team, said thanks but no thanks.

“I told them I’m very thankful for the opportunity,” Fitzhugh said. “But right now, being that it would be for just a couple weeks, I feel that I’d rather stay with a secure company and job, somewhere I know I could have long-term employment.”[..]

“Being unemployed is not a good feeling,” Fitzhugh said. “It’s a lonely feeling. I’d rather be somewhere safe and have a great foundation.”

–NJ Star-Ledger. Thanks, Ben, for the heads-up.

Fitzhugh shot down a chance to follow his dream to keep his job as a conductor for the Norfolk Southern railroad. Good for him. I’d rather see him support his family than get back into football and then 20 years later testify to Congress about how he’s unable to support his family. These guys have a choice when it comes to putting their bodies on the line, and it’s refreshing to finally see a guy realize that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my shift as a sex slave at the gay bar downtown. Yeah, it’s degrading, but the tips are great. When they wash them.

That actually happened in Des Moines, where would be marathoners were held up on the course as a train passed through. Race organizers were disappointed that they didn’t choo-choo-choose a better race course.

[Kenyan David] Tuwei caught the 40-year-old [Kenyan Simon] Sawe and the two waited … and waited … and waited for the train to pass. Third-place Geoffrey Birgen had nearly caught the two leaders when the train finally crossed the street about 40 to 50 seconds later.

A 26.2-mile race came down to a 400-meter sprint, and Sawe used his speed as a former 1,500-meter runner to pull away and win the $3,000 top prize in 2 hours, 24 minutes, 50 seconds. Tuwei finished 5 seconds back.

“When you have to wait, you think about crazy things,” said Sawe, who indicated for a fleeting moment he thought about jumping onto the train. “Usually you don’t get me at the end when you give me a chance.” –Des Moines Register, via Sports Rubbish.

Of course, this is much better than what would have delayed any marathon in Kenya: rampaging gunfire from angry militants. It’s easy to see how great a country America is when people are getting pissed off about trains. Hey, that train’s carrying over 200 tons of happiness across the country. What the hell did you ever do?