With Peyton Manning officially signed to a 5-year, $96 million deal to be the quarterback of the Denver Broncos, the Broncos are reportedly shopping Tebow for a third round draft pick, despite having originally drafted him in the first round. The rumor mill makes it seem as the frontrunners are the Jacksonville Jaguars – with owner Shad Kahn’s love of the Florida Gators legend and desire to fill seats – and the New York Jets – with their love of being in the spotlight and desire to fill the hole left by Brad Smith.

A decision is expected at some point today as to which team Tebow will be unceremoniously shipped off to, but there’s apparently another decision that needs to be made… involving Tebow’s heart. According to the NY Post, which really understands the important news, Tebow has wedged himself between Glee Star Dianna Agron and her boyfriend and apparent Disney cartoon character Sebastian Stan.

Tebow was spotted chatting with Agron at an Oscar party in late February.

Ooooh, they’re practically married already!

He was also seen days later on a date with Taylor Swift, although sources insist that — even though Swift appears to be sweet on Tebow — they are strictly friends.

The new split leaves the door open for Tebow to nab Agron. But the devout Christian quarterback has other things on his mind, such as his possible departure from the Broncos, who just signed Peyton Manning.

Tebow has been the focus of trade rumors with teams including the Jets, Miami Dolphins and Jacksonville Jaguars. Even Denver’s John Elway said, “Tim Tebow is a great kid. If I want someone to marry my daughter, it would be him.”

That is, of course, until Elway’s daughter complains that Tebow just can’t get it done on his own and she’s thankful that Von Miller and Matt Prater are able to come in and really pound away for the victory.

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"Hey you, get over here... stay here... please?"

It has already been a pretty big week for the New York Jets, as they’ve been making personnel changes to repair the problems that have kept them from fulfilling head coach Rex Ryan’s wrongly predicted Super Bowl victories before each of the last three seasons. The first move came with the team kindly asking offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer to resign, and the second move came as the Jets hired former Miami Dolphins coach Tony Sparano to replace him. As a Dolphins fan, I can only offer a mild “Meh, we’ll see” to that latter move.

Now, though, some players are allegedly speaking out that the problem wasn’t completely in Schottenheimer’s inability to use his offensive weapons, as much as it’s the fault of weapon Numero Uno, QB Mark Sanchez.

“They don’t want to be truthful with him,” one prominent player said of the way that the organization has handled Sanchez. “They treat him like a baby instead of a man. He goes in a hole when someone tells him the truth.”

“So that should tell you everything,” the source said. “He just doesn’t have the mental toughness to be great… especially in New York.”

“They see the organization babying him,” said a Jets source. “They see him with a sense of entitlement. He’s been given all this and hasn’t done anything. They call him ‘San-chise.’ They make him the face of the organization. They gave him the captain tag. He’s not a captain. He should have never been a captain.”

(Via the New York Daily News)

Ah, my favorite type of sources – anonymous. There’s nothing quite like a player calling his teammate a coddled baby and refusing to go on record for it (also check out our cooler older brothers’ take at KSK). But the quotes are out there now for the whole world to see, and that’s all that matters. So how do these anonymous players think the team should handle it? Acquire Peyton Manning, of course.

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… Moneyball Harder.

Although I guess the idea of Moneyball is that Beane’s system found under-appreciated value in players and was able to build a team using a system nobody else knew about or understood. Moneyball 2‘s plot is just going to be Billy Beane walking into the Washington Nationals front office and saying “give me all your best young players for this one dude because you’re stupid” and Ted Lerner going “DURRRRRR SURE”. And also Jonah Hill will be there.

Via Big League Stew:

ESPN.com’s Keith Law reported via Twitter that the Washington Nationals have acquired [pitcher Gio] Gonzalez from the Oakland Athletics in exchange for four top prospects.

On their way to a future in green and gold are pitchers A.J. Cole, Brad Peacock and Tom Milone, along with catcher Derek Norris. Cole, Peacock and Norris were among the Nationals’ top 10 prospects as rated by Baseball America. And Minor League Ball’s John Sickels had Milone in his Nats top 10, as well.

I guess I’m happy that Nats GM Mike Rizzo has a talking point for his offseason, and nothing the guys who gave Jayson Werth 130 million f**king dollars should come as a surprise. Chances are they’re still going to go after Prince Fielder, too, so maybe they’re going to tie the remaining six prospects together and FedEx them to someone to thin out the competition.

Regardless, Mike Cameron should start learning the words to “The Show”.

In what I would think is a pretty cool effort to show love to some people who suffer so much, the Los Angeles Clippers sent Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan and Eric Gordon on a bus ride with a group of season ticket holders. Together, they could embrace the legacy of Donald Sterling and gently weep into each other’s arms.

Then a funny thing happened. The Clippers and the New Orleans Hornets agreed to a trade involving Chris Paul – again – and after a conference call with Hornets GM Dell Demps, David Stern actually approved it. That’s right, Chris Paul has finally been traded. And that’s awesome for Griffin and Jordan, who chest bumped each other on the bus after someone announced the news that they acquired Paul for Chris Kaman, Al-Farouq Aminu, Minnesota’s unprotected first round pick in the 2012 draft and… Gordon.

Yikes.

In case you’re wondering, yes, the Los Angeles Lakers are furious over the Clippers getting Paul. As the L.A. Times points out, everyone is talking about the Clippers right now and dreaming of the amazing alley oops that we’re going to see for Griffin this year. But the Lakers, they were supposed to have Paul and Kobe Bryant while shedding everyone but Andrew Bynum so they could also get Dwight Howard. Now, unless they give up their stance and agree to send Bynum and Pau Gasol to the Orlando Magic (spoiler: they will!) the Lakers will be scrambling to start rebuilding soon.

See? The lockout fixed everything. The Lakers are doomed and the small market Clippers have a chance to succeed now. Hooray David Stern, champion of equality!

Now that the Los Angeles Lakers have focused their middle market superstar thievery on Dwight Howard, the New Orleans Hornets still need to find a taker for Chris Paul while maintaining a certain level of franchise value for attracting a new owner. It turns out that the Hornets have found that suitor and Paul will be going to L.A. after all. But now he’s going to be a Clipper, which means celebrities are going to be very confused about which L.A. team to pretend that they like.

The Hornets would receive much-needed size in 7-0 center Chris Kaman (12.4 ppg, 7.0 rpg), a promising second-year point guard in Eric Bledsoe (6.7 ppg, 3.6 apg, 1.1 spg), an athletic second-year small forward in Al-Farouq Aminu (5.6 ppg, 3.3 rpg) and the Clippers’ unprotected 2012 draft pick via the Minnesota Timberwolves.

(Via USA Today)

Aside from that Minnesota draft pick, which I assume will be a lottery pick, this deal is incredibly underwhelming to me, but people seem to be very high on Bledsoe, so it is what it is. There was actually some confusion between ESPN and Yahoo! over which Eric was involved in the deal, as the Worldwide Leader claimed that Eric Gordon was heading to New Orleans, but Adrian Wojnarowski says that’s not the case and it is just Bledsoe.

Paul has been very clear about which teams he would sign an extension with – basically the Lakers or New York Knicks – but he said that he’ll pick up his option for the 2012-13, which means that we’ll get to see him passing to Blake Griffin for at least one season. And that’s one more year that Donald Sterling can tell people he has a new black employee, so everyone’s a winner.

UPDATE: ESPN just reported that David Stern will once again strike down this deal… for basketball reasons.

CONFUSING UPDATE NO. 2: Apparently the deal was Kaman, Al Faraq and Gordon, despite what Woj Tweeted.

In case you ever wanted to see Albert Pujols pull out a pistol and shoot somebody in the face, here’s Next Media Animation’s latest encapsulation of current events. If gun violence isn’t your bag, there’s also a moment where Angels owner Arte Moreno cuts a pizza with a chainsaw and tries to eat it with his face.

My favorite part is Taiwan’s super accurate portrayal of Texas — as a resident of central Texas myself, I can verify that we train our baseball teams by putting on Texas flag-themed clothing, dragging them out to the desert and whipping them while an Asian child does sabermetrics on a calculator. Put the kid in a long sleeve Longhorns shirt and you’re 100%.

Second best part: a Taiwanese lady trying to say “Wilson”. I don’t want to sound prejudiced or anything, but holy sh*t.

[via NMA World Edition]