It has been a few months since I was finally able to extinguish the last of my raging hatred of Dwight Howard for what he did to my beloved Orlando Magic, but I’m actually glad that I can look at him in a new, unbiased light. It wouldn’t be a typical NBA season if Howard’s people weren’t leaking his complaints to certain people in the “media” and, sure enough, ESPN reported this week that a Howard trade may be imminent.

While this has been corroborated by other people who claim to know – translated: they have Howard’s cousin’s email address – it was pretty much a done deal once everyone realized two things: 1) The Lakers just aren’t good with this old, injured lineup and 2) Howard still clearly wants to play in Brooklyn. However, much like he did with the Magic, Howard is doing his little song and dance routine with the Lakers by saying that he doesn’t want to be traded and will “bring it”.

Perhaps that has something to do with Nets star Deron Williams responding to the Howard rumors by saying that Brook Lopez won’t be going anywhere. Maybe it’s because he and Kobe Bryant got into it again in the locker room in a heated confrontation that they’ll probably deny again. Or maybe someone simply sat down with Howard, drew a bunch of zeroes on a piece of paper and told him what he’ll lose if he leaves L.A.

Like with his childish drama in Orlando, we probably won’t ever get a true story out of Howard for this case of déjà vu, but as an NBA expert and world famous analyst, I believe that the Lakers should trade Howard now. There are plenty of teams that can offer value, and I have broken down the Top 10 of those with proposed trades that are in no way mocking his value right now. Right, winking giraffe?

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Remember earlier this year when a dozen or so Miami Dolphins fans showed up to Joe Robbie Pro Player Sun Life their stadium to protest the ongoing employment of general manager Jeff Ireland and everyone was like, “Awwwww, those poor fans think they can make Stephen Ross make good decisions”? Well, Miami Marlins fans just made those Phins fans and their “Fireland” signs look like the million man march.

With news today that the blockbuster trade between the Miami Marlins and Toronto Blue Jays has been finalized, fans of South Florida’s embattled baseball franchise flocked to their year-old stadium to express their disdain with owner Jeffrey Loria for trading away half of their team for a group of players that doesn’t even include the Blue Jays’ top prospect. And as anyone would have expected, you could count the Marlins fans protesting on one hand.

But commissioner Bud Selig ain’t care, because this trade is in the best interest of something, apparently.

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If you didn’t see enough of it last night as the news initially broke, you’re going to see plenty of columns, editorials and fiery rants today about how Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is a scumbag because he is willingly killing his second baseball franchise because he’s horrible at what he does. And many of them will be great – I like this effort by Yahoo!’s Jeff Passan and this more subtle rundown by Deadspin – because as much as writers, analysts and experts love to argue about every little meaningless thing in sports, hatred for Loria runs deep within the majority. Jeffrey Loria destroyed the Montreal Expos and now he is destroying the Miami Marlins. That’s pretty much all you need to know.

So why? Why did the Marlins trade Jose Reyes, Josh Johnson, John Buck, Emilio Bonifacio and Mark Buehrle to the Toronto Blue Jays for Yunel Escobar and several prospects that don’t even include Toronto’s best? Was it a brilliant move to clear money? Was it an admittance of mistakes in even signing Reyes and Buehrle in the first place? Was it just the same old fire sale that we’ve come to expect from the Marlins? Or is it more likely the story of a man under investigation by the SEC for allegedly fleecing the city of Miami in the construction of a new baseball stadium that he couldn’t even fill with a stable of stars because he already created a product so tainted within the community that people refuse to buy in until his stink is washed away?

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Okay, Oklahoma City Thunder fans, step back from the lighter fluid. Seriously, you’re acting a little foolish. Look, as a fan of a team that just traded its star player away, I certainly understand that you’re pretty broken up over the Thunder trading away Kevin Durant yesterday. Wait no, not Durant. My bad, I meant Russell Westbrook. Wait, no. It wasn’t Westbrook either. It was James Harden, the team’s 6th man. But hey, he does have a pretty sweet beard.

In case you were too focused on your fantasy football teams yesterday, the Thunder traded free-agent-to-be James Harden (and some other dudes) to the Houston Rockets for Kevin Martin, Jeremy Lamb and picks. According to the above picture that someone emailed me of Harden shirseys being torched, OKC fans are apparently mad at Harden for not accepting the Thunder’s reported offer of 4 years, $55 million. Instead, Harden opted to seek a max deal (5 years, $80 million) with another team. Oh, and there’s another teeny weenie little itsy bitsy reason that Harden wanted out.

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Yahoo!’s Adrian Wojnarowski Tweeted yesterday that a four-way blockbuster trade that would send Dwight Howard to the Los Angeles Lakers was imminent, and it appears that it’s done. According to Woj, as of this morning the deal is in place and just needs NBA approval, which the teams will most likely receive during a conference call this afternoon. As the smoke clears and the dust settles, this is how the trade plays out:

Lakers get: Dwight Howard, Earl Clark, and Chris Duhon

Philadelphia 76ers get: Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson

Denver Nuggets get: Andre Iguodala

Orlando Magic get: Arron Afflalo, Al Harrington, Nikola Vucevic, Moe Harkless, 3 first round picks, and 1 second round pick.

(Some people with “sources” say that other players are involved, and it is actually 4 first rounders that suck and maybe 2 second rounders, but who knows yet? Who cares? Is anyone even paying attention? Hello, Mrs. Pommelhorse?)

MOST SHOCKING UPDATE EVER: The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that the deal is not done and there may be complications. I do not believe this because the Sentinel is never right.

Of course that has led to a chorus of “How could Orlando do that?” and “Orlando got screwed” and “Orlando took the worst offer out there” and that was expected. Short of a LeBron James for Howard straight-up swap, there was no deal that Orlando would receive that wouldn’t be met with cries of outrage from both fans and the media. That’s just how the NBA works these days.

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In a deal that really shouldn’t have surprised anyone, lest a team were willing to deliver an entire bus full of MLB-ready pitching prospects to City of Brotherly Love, the Philadelphia Phillies have agreed to a new deal with lefty Cole Hamels that will make him the second-richest pitcher in Major League Baseball, behind C.C. Sabathia. At a press conference today, Hamels will probably show up in a tuxedo made of money to announce his new 6-year, $144 million deal to remain with Philly.

And there’s not really much else to say about this deal, other than it’s great, because if it weren’t the Phillies, another team would have probably paid Hamels even more. Phils fans deserved some good news, too, as they’re languishing in last place in the NL East while watching the Miami Marlins, who they trail by a game and a half, clean house in a most, well, Marlins kind of way. Seriously, they just gave Hanley Ramirez away. I know he sucks, but there had to have been a more desperate team.

Regardless, while a late season push by the Phillies seems far-fetched, we know stranger things have happened, so maybe this will provide a little boost for the team that now has a small fortune wrapped up in 1/6 of the team’s payroll. But I won’t let a thing like money get in the way of making our friends at Zoo With Roy go photoshop and GIF crazy.

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