Fire Up The Trade Machine: 10 Dwight Howard Trades That Could Help The L.A. Lakers

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.24.13

Dwight Howard

It has been a few months since I was finally able to extinguish the last of my raging hatred of Dwight Howard for what he did to my beloved Orlando Magic, but I’m actually glad that I can look at him in a new, unbiased light. It wouldn’t be a typical NBA season if Howard’s people weren’t leaking his complaints to certain people in the “media” and, sure enough, ESPN reported this week that a Howard trade may be imminent.

While this has been corroborated by other people who claim to know – translated: they have Howard’s cousin’s email address – it was pretty much a done deal once everyone realized two things: 1) The Lakers just aren’t good with this old, injured lineup and 2) Howard still clearly wants to play in Brooklyn. However, much like he did with the Magic, Howard is doing his little song and dance routine with the Lakers by saying that he doesn’t want to be traded and will “bring it”.

Perhaps that has something to do with Nets star Deron Williams responding to the Howard rumors by saying that Brook Lopez won’t be going anywhere. Maybe it’s because he and Kobe Bryant got into it again in the locker room in a heated confrontation that they’ll probably deny again. Or maybe someone simply sat down with Howard, drew a bunch of zeroes on a piece of paper and told him what he’ll lose if he leaves L.A.

Like with his childish drama in Orlando, we probably won’t ever get a true story out of Howard for this case of déjà vu, but as an NBA expert and world famous analyst, I believe that the Lakers should trade Howard now. There are plenty of teams that can offer value, and I have broken down the Top 10 of those with proposed trades that are in no way mocking his value right now. Right, winking giraffe?

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Discussion: Does Steve Nash Suddenly Make The Lakers Title Contenders?

Written by Ashley Burns / 07.05.12

"And I was like, 'Toronto? Sorry, wrong number. No Steve Nash here.'"

Depending on whom you ask, the Los Angeles Lakers either just pulled off a fantastic or terrible trade that makes them instant contenders again or just makes them older. Yesterday, the Lakers defiled our nation’s birthday by making the day’s biggest sports news all about a Canadian athlete. The Phoenix Suns have agreed to ship Steve Nash to L.A. for a goodie bag of draft picks and cash.

Specifically, the Suns inked Nash to a 3-year, $27 million extension and will swing him to the Lakeshow for $3 million and four draft picks. The Lakers were able to make the deal happen thanks to that exemption they received from Dallas in the “Lamar Odom’s worthless presence” trade last season.

So what sold Nash, who had interest from a bunch of teams, on this particular deal?

“This is what I call a family values contract,” Nash’s agent Bill Duffy told USA TODAY Sports. “He was seriously considering retiring so he could remain close to his children. We had to twist his arm to have an open mind. He didn’t want to be away from his children, and this allows him to be in a competitive situation, and even though it’s a rival, he wanted Phoenix to get some value back. It’s a win-win.” (Via USA Today)

Added Duffy, “I was all like, ‘Retirement shmetirement, bro. Daddy needs a new beach house in San Diego. Think about others for once, you selfish dick.’ And boom, Lakers.”

Of course once the news broke, so did the dam that keeps all of the Internet’s hyperbole from drowning us. Nash is 38-years old, and he’ll turn 39 in the middle of the 2012-13 season, so can he still be the point guard that Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have desperately craved since Derek Fisher’s age caught up to him?

Let’s speculate and debate and then hug.

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Dwight Howard Said The Magic Blackmailed Him, Doesn’t Know What Blackmail Means

Written by Ashley Burns / 07.02.12

Dwight Howard

Dwight Howard wants to play for the Brooklyn Nets. We know this very well by now, and it’s hardly breaking news anymore, despite what any ESPN experts want to claim. And that’s fine, he’s a big boy and can play wherever he pleases, as soon as his contract with the Orlando Magic is up. That would have been yesterday, too, if Howard hadn’t pulled his bizarre series of switcharoos before this past season’s trade deadline, ultimately agreeing to sign his one-year extension.

But yesterday it was reported that Howard has not only demanded to be traded, but he also reached out to the NBA Players Association to help him force his way out of Orlando, because – as ESPN reported – he was being blackmailed by the team. Now Howard, who has been very quiet since his back surgery in Los Angeles, is speaking out. Sort of. Basically, he’s clarifying himself and then returning to secrecy.

Howard also denied an ESPN report that he had told people Orlando Magic officials had “blackmailed” him into forgoing the early termination option on his contract that ultimately cost him his free agency this summer.

“I never used the word blackmail in reference to any of my dealings with the Magic,” Howard said. “I never said that. It’s defamatory and it’s inaccurate. I know what blackmail means and any report that I used the term incorrectly is inaccurate.” (Via Yahoo!)

Here’s what I don’t get – Howard had to have watched “The Decision” and witnessed the backlash of fury and scorn that LeBron James went through. So how could he have let this all happen? There have been whispers of Howard making comments like, “If only people knew what I was going through” and he’s right, we don’t. Maybe tell us? Fill us in just a little so every basketball fan on the planet doesn’t think you’re the biggest dick in the history of the league.

Or we could just read this story about Howard and his best friend Jameer Nelson having to be separated at a Magic practice last season, and that’s how we can paint our portrait of the league’s best center. Whatever he wants.

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NBA DRAFT RUMORS: What The Hell Are The Houston Rockets Up To?

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.26.12

I’m still planning to wait until tomorrow to unleash my incredible, unparalleled NBA Draft Preview on your asses, but I’m pretty happy that the Houston Rockets have finally stirred the pot and created some excitement for us fans of franchises that blow. Apparently the Rockets are hellbent on wrangling as many first round draft picks as they can, and they took one step closer to fruition of their diabolical plan today when they shipped Chase Budinger to the Minnesota Timberwolves for the No. 18 pick.

This was perhaps the best response I saw regarding that trade.

Now the Rockets have the 14th, 16th, and 18th picks in Thursday night’s draft, and it’s no secret at all that they covet disgruntled drama queen Dwight Howard, who may or may not have once again told the Orlando Magic that he wants to be traded to the Brooklyn Nets. So are those three picks enough to get Howard?

Houston’s first-round assets will create an intriguing proposition for the Magic and their new general manager, Rob Hennigan. Just a week into his job, Hennigan will be faced with his first major player-personnel decision.

The Magic have maintained they don’t want to go through another season like they just did, when the drama surrounding Howard and his future dominated Orlando’s every move. Multiple first-round picks might be the enticing offer Orlando needs to break free from Howard. (Via USA Today)

It should be noted that aside from a few rumblings about “sources close to Howard”, Howard is still recovering from back surgery and hasn’t talked to anybody about his future since the Stan Van Gundy mess, when he had TMZ on speed dial. In fact, as far as anyone knows, Howard hasn’t even had contact with new Magic GM Rob Hennigan yet.

But while the Miami Heat celebrate and Anthony Davis trademarks his eyebrows in time to be called by the New Orleans Hornets, all we’ve got are rumors. So let’s entertain this one a little further…

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Where’s Your Messiah Now, Tim Tebow?

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.19.12

tim-tebow-peyton-manning

It’s Twitter Official: Peyton Manning is about to become a Denver Bronco. In a related story, Tim Tebow is up Sh*t Creek and accidentally tossed his oar into the wilderness.

peyton-manning-denver-broncos

When God closes a door, he opens a window — now that the “WHERE WILL PEYTON MANNING GO? I BET IT’S HERE” story every city with a football team’s newspaper has been writing for the last month is dead, it will be replaced by “COULD TIM TEBOW END UP IN OUR CITY WITH A FOOTBALL TEAM?” Boston.com is already on it, projecting that Tebow will be traded to the Patriots, for some reason. He’s also being traded to Arizona, Miami, Jacksonville and any other regional website that needs page views.

More on the story as it develops, especially if it involves Tebow singing in the garden of Gethsemane.

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Carson Palmer Wants To Be Traded

Written by JOSH Z / 01.24.11

The Bengals season ended nearly a month ago, and yet Carson Palmer is still making questionable decisions. If you forgot who Palmer was (and nobody could blame you if you did), he was considered among the elite quarterbacks in 2005, and then some Steeler went head-first into his knee and ruined everything. But now the Cincinnati quarterback wants out of Cincinnati, and he’s willing to retire if he doesn’t get his way.

Palmer has become the object of fan frustration in the past two years and sources said he has grown frustrated with the team’s inconsistencies. The Bengals finished 4-12 in 2010.

Sources familiar with Palmer’s plan and mindset said he is financially secure for the rest of his life and willing to follow through and retire. –ESPN.

Don’t let the door dislodge the ball from your throwing hand on the way out, Carson. Palmer’s 23 turnovers this season (20 picks, 3 lost fumbles) were a career worst (best?), and his poor play and late-game interceptions helped epitomize the team’s tragic 10-game midseason losing streak. It’s somewhat amazing that a guy could demand a trade after playing so poorly, especially to an owner whose only goal seems to be to make his team as bad as possible. Go, Carson. Save yourself!

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