Miami-Dade County Commissioner Joe Martinez is proposing to remove Jose Canseco’s name from a street that has bared his name for two decades because Canseco did what practically every in baseball player has done for the last fifteen years: nailed Madonna. Also, he took steroids.

”I think it’s an embarrassment. It runs through my district, right by my office,” said Martinez, who drives Southwest 16th Street — aka Jose Canseco Street — a few times a week…

Martinez said it wasn’t the brawl in the bar on the beach. It wasn’t the public dust-ups with his ex-wife. It wasn’t even Canseco’s prancing around in a leopard print Speedo on VH1′s The Surreal Life.

It was the steroids, said Martinez, a former county police officer… ”It’s the fact that he did it, and he lied for such a long time,” Martinez said. “The book was just to make money.”

“As opposed to this proposal, which is just to score cheap political points!”

Hopefully this leads to a movement of removing athlete’s names from schools and roads the nation over. I know the people of Green Bay must be itching to take down Brett Favre Pass. He was addicted to pain killers, after all. And attention, the deadliest drugs of them all. Okay, only if it’s mixed with cocaine. Michael Irvin raves about that one.

Former American sprinter and third-tier piece of Olympic ass Marion Jones was released from federal custody this morning, which is fortunate, because the Prison Olympics just ended. From Y! Sports:

Jones left a halfway house in San Antonio around 8 a.m., said LaTanya Robinson, a community corrections manager for the federal Bureau of Prisons. Jones, who has a house in Austin, will remain on probation.

…The sprinter admitted last October that she used a designer steroid known as “the clear” from September 2000 to July 2001. The drug was linked to the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, the lab that became the center of a steroids scandal that touched numerous professional athletes, including baseball star Barry Bonds.

I don’t have a problem with steroids in any sport. These are world-class athletes that are sacrificing more of their time and livelihood than any weekend warrior ever would. What I do have a problem with is that wayward snaggletooth Marion has. Damn, girl! Get some braces on that grill!

Novak Djokovic is still playing at the U.S. Open, and in between matches he denied being involved with Leryn Franco.  Dammit, make up your minds, people.  I need to know whether I should break off my imaginary romance with Roselyn Sanchez.

The good news is that after having almost zero pictures of her two weeks ago, AFP and Getty Images paid for the rights to some more sexy pictures of Leryn.  Nice work by them.  And I gotta say, Novak Djokovic is way more low-key than I am.  If I were rumored to be dating Leryn I’d buy billboards in LA and full-page ads in USA Today with pictures of her below the text, “I hit this.”

Over the weekend, Jose Canseco's retarded face got knocked out by former NFL kick returner Vai Sikahema in some boxing match somewhere.  Atlantic City, I think.  And if that doesn't tell you what kind of depressing town AC is, then nothing short of a busload of old people disgorging at Harrah's to swarm the slot machines will convince you otherwise.

BlackSportsOnline has a different video (longer version after the jump) where it's Stephen A. Smith talking over the highlights.  So you should probably check that out if you like your ears to bleed while you watch pathetic idiots punch each other in a desperate attempt to cling to their dying fame.  Me, I'd rather see how far I can get this bent paperclip under my fingernail.  The blood loss is worth retaining some of my intellect.

[You Been Blinded] 

reviewed it on his website, Deadspin turned up with an excellent scoop, if you're into steroid accusations: a photocopied excerpt from the book in which Canseco accuses Yankee slugger Alex Rodgriguez of coveting Canseco's (now ex-) wife Jessica and inquiring about how to get steroids. 

It's not boring, but it isn't really thrilling, either.  Several times Canseco claims that A-Rod told him Jessica was "the most beautiful woman in the world."  And I remembered her Playboy shoot (NSFW here and here), and I thought, "Really?  The most beautiful woman in the world?  I mean, she looked pretty good, but I thought she was a little too muscul– OHHHHHHHHHHH.  Right.  Story checks out."

I'd like to take this opportunity to say "you're welcome" for not covering Roger Clemens's appearance on Capitol Hill yesterday.  And I'd still be ignoring it right now if Big League Stew hadn't turned up this little nugget from Brian McNamee's deposition.

Roger showed up after golf, I believe. Maybe he was golfing. I don't know if he was golfing. He might have showed up a little bit later, but no, he was there the whole time for the most part. He was in the house. I could tell a specific story about him being there, which was involving Jose (Canseco), Jose's wife and Roger's wife when they went inside, when the guys showed up. I mean, they talked — no disrespect, but they talked about how great Jose's wife's augmentation job was to Debbie and showed her. And then Debbie showed her her augmentation job.

That story would be sexy as hell if it were anybody besides the washed-up wives of two meathead juicers.  This movie needs to be re-cast with Megan Fox and Kate Beckinsale as the wives.  And I'll need to make some changes to the script, too.  Like the Clemens and Canseco characters, for example.  They're redundant, and can be fused into one character.  Ably played by me.  Rated R for Ridiculously sexy.