Welp, now I know what I want for Christmas. A remote controlled car that is also a F**KING TRANSFORMER FOR REAL? When I was five, this is what I imagined future kids would play with. I’d say “take my money” if I thought I had enough to cover it. (via The Daily What)

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15 Badass Aldo Raine GIFs To Remind You That Brad Pitt Is Pretty Good At Playing A Badass |UPROXX|

Aaron Paul Is Really Excited About The Final Season Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

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Meet Con Bro Chill, Lacrosse’s ‘Personality Of The Year’ And The King Of All Bros |With Leather|

Don Cheadle Returns As A Psychotic Captain Planet, And Trees Are Still His Jam |Gamma Squad|

Built For The Streets: 10 Classic Black And White Videos From The ’90s |Smoking Section|

Some Cowboys Fans Want Obama To Forcibly Remove Jerry Jones |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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As a kid who could never get past mindlessly trying to fit as many Legos onto one flat green piece as possible, this is especially impressive. 57-year old Buffalo Bills fan and season ticket holder Robert J. Hall used over 30,000 Legos to create a 20-foot-long, 3-foot-deep Lego replica of Ralph Wilson Stadium, home of the Bills since 1973, with working video display and everything. It’s the kind of endeavor that makes you think “it is marvelous what humanity is capable of” and “hahah what” at the same time.

Creating a masterpiece like this wasn’t easy.

“I was leaning over the corner of the stadium where the M&T Bank sign is trying to place a yard marker on the field, and the plastic stool collapsed,” said Hall. “I fell right into the corner of the stadium and smashed it to smithereens. It pushed the field 2-3 inches forward and the part of the stadium that overhangs the table fell on the ground. I cried.”

Thankfully the project came back together quickly, and until somebody breaks out a Marlins Park made entirely of Duplo this monolithic structure will stand as the best possible sports arena made from children’s toys. My Cowboys Stadium made from Lincoln Logs looks like shit compared to this.

The full tour (courtesy of the official website of the Buffalo Bills, by way of Sportress Of Blogitude) is after the jump. Love, admire, imagine how many crappy looking helicopters you could make with this many Legos.

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After years of painstaking research, humanity has finally done it. No, not discovering the God particle, I’m talking about the big Hot Wheels double loop some X-Games guys stuck over the weekend. It combined three of my favorite things: driving upside down, large tracks of flat, orange plastic and people almost dying!

“That was unbelievable,” [stuntman Greg] Tracy said after finishing first through the loop in the Team Green car and making the jump into the finish ahead of [rally car driver Tanner] Foust. “I tell you what, I’m at a loss for words. That was absolutely the coolest thing I’ve ever done. It was a handful trying to land it and get it slowed down. I knew Tanner was right behind me and I was just hoping we weren’t going to tangle before we got to the end.”

Foust and Tracy hit 52 mph in the track and experienced approximately 7Gs going through the loop.

“That was pretty hardcore: the 7 Gs … I almost felt my chin hit my lap, I think, in the loop,” Foust said after finishing the stunt in the Team Yellow car. “I felt like I was in a toy.” (via ESPN)

All it needed was a toy commercial background to complete the aesthetic. My favorites were “waist-deep canyon full of playing kids” or “metal table in a dark room with a bunch of clear plastic blocks you can use to build walls and drive the Batmobile through”.

Video is below.

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We didn’t do a full day of updates yesterday, so we missed out on a few important stories, including the wedding of Tony Romo (aka “the only way he’s ever going to get a ring”) or Man U vs Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League Finals (neither team won), but the most important thing we missed is this video from the Indy 500, wherein a guy in a car drives down a big for-real Hot Wheels track and breaks a world record. It’s cool, but not as cool as that time I drove my big wheel down the hill.

From the YouTube description:

The Yellow Driver of Team Hot Wheels breaks the world record for distance jump in a four-wheeled vehicle at the Indianapolis 500 on May 29th 2011. Watch as the Yellow Driver, Tanner Foust, drops 10 stories down 90 feet of orange track and soars 332 feet through the air.

Of course a guy named “Tanner Foust” would want to drive on a life-size Hot Wheels track. Now that we’ve played out this exercise in American excess, we should concentrate on more pressing issues, such as building a stunt track around an active volcano or creating a car that changes color when it drives through water. Or maybe our President can finally get around to pulling all of our G.I. Joes out of the Middle East.

I really wanted an air hockey table for Christmas, but I guess Santa heard about that incident behind the gentlemen's club. Anyway, here's a video of some expert paddle skills: 

Ah, an alcoholic humiliating a child – that makes me nostalgic for the holidays of my youth. -KD