Last night’s season premiere of Tosh.0 (the only show in the entirety of television my girlfriend gets excited to watch) featured everything you’d expect from Tosh: vomiting, jokes about the subservience of women, and that conversation I have in my head on whether he’s Dane Cook’s Nobody (like in Kingdom Hearts) or his Heartless, as Dane Cook is now nobody. It also featured a special bonus: Manny Pacquiao punching Tosh into near-unconsciousness. It’s funny, but keep in mind that the video also includes nearly two minutes of Joe Rogan, so viewer discretion is advised.

Some funny analysis from Travis Houser:

Pacquiao’s punch that landed squarely on the jaw of Daniel Tosh was not 100% strength but sounded hard enough to do some damage. As you can see in the video, Manny Pacquiao by 1st round TKO since Tosh did not lose conscious it is not a knockout.

Good point, I guess. And yeah, if that punch had been 100%, parts of Tosh’s head would start showing up in the background of Scrubs reruns.

You probably don’t remember those really terrible high school hurdlers from November, but they had a second shot at athletic glory on “Tosh.0″ earlier this week. It says a lot about this show that the two best jokes in the whole skit are a quip about a nickname of one of the girls and a sight gag at the end. And yet people are creaming themselves over this show. “Oh, man! It’s all the stuff from the internet, but on TV!”

I would totally get my own TV show if I wasn’t fat, bald and so disdainful of makeup.

Daniel Tosh of Tosh-point-oh fame made a spoof of a credit card commercial, and I showed it to my dad and he thought it was a very funny goof and a spoof. I don’t understand how the WNBA gets all of this free publicity, but who would they be to look a gift muff in the mouth.

“We’ve missed commitment ceremonies, Lilith Fairs, LPGA finals, parades. Even that one day we’re allowed at Disney World.”

I guess it’s funny because they’re lesbians that like sports. Whatever. This is why I can’t stand Tosh, he’s just a smug little ass that makes easy, uncreative jokes at everything. “Here’s another kid puking and a viral video that circulated through the blogs two months ago.” Great job, Daniel.

via Tosh.0.

I only bring that up because our new friend Joselyn over at Tosh.0 sent us this yet-to-be-aired mock presser featuring Terrell Owens apologizing for the ills of the world. And yeah, it’s kinda cute, and certainly an above-average TV performance for an athlete. But being a dick for seven years and then actually half-acknowledging it on a comedy show does not sympathy make. But if Kobe Bryant did a bit getting fresh with one of those inflatable dolls in front of a ski chalet backdrop, I might have to reconsider that stance. But not before.