For as long as people have been posting humiliating home videos to YouTube with the hopes of becoming the next Star Wars kid or Tay Zonday, my absolute favorite has always been the goofy white kid showing off his slam dunk moves on a NERF hoop in his basement. Naturally, I’m a little geeked that after several years of being the (latest) authority in telling us about those videos, Daniel Tosh finally tracked down the man who was once that boy in his basement for a new segment entitled, “30 For 30.0”.
Of course, I also worried that it would just be typical Tosh fare, in that he’d help recreate the original video with his own special, snarky touch, but the guy who once stabbed Kate Upton in the tit with a banana actually put a little extra into this spoof, recruiting Jalen Rose, Bill Simmons, Spud Webb and even Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins to tell the story of Ryan, a goofy redheaded kid from Michigan who was a beast on the NERF hoop.
LeBron James Jumps Over John Lucas For The Dunk - LeBron James Does Cool Thing, News At Eleven. Has he stopped being all LeBron James about it yet? [Smoking Section]
Six Things the 3DS Needs to Deliver to Become as Great as the Original DS - 1. Nintendo coming up with some games that aren’t Mario/Zelda/Metroid/Donkey Kong/Party/Kart related. 2. That is all. [Gamma Squad]
‘Jeff Who Lives at Home’ Nails Every Indie Dramedy Trailer Cliche (with side-by-sides) - My movie should go into production sometime this year, and I’m using this post as a guide for making the trailer not look like a piece of sh*t. Thanks, FilmDrunk! [Film Drunk]
Jennifer Love Hewitt Strips for Her Hooker Mom Show - … but not really. This would be the greatest thing to happen to me since I went on vacation and came back to naked Anne Hathaway in Havoc screencaps if it was a real thing. [Warming Glow]
Meme Watch: It’s About Time We Gave ‘Forever Resentful Mother’ Her Own Feature - I’m glad my Mom never did anything meme-worthy. Also, pretty happy that I didn’t have the Internet until I was old enough to be weird about my parents on it. [UPROXX]
Snoop Dogg Is A National Treasure - Getting started on that “Dr. Dre steals the U.S. Constitution” script as soon as possible. [UPROXX]
Call Your Bookies: We’re Breaking Down Super Bowl XLVI’s Prop Bets - Worth it for all the pictures of pre-post-pre-Crisis Kelly Clarkson. Your December was terrible, but your September-November was pretty great. [With Leather]
The Naked Daniel Tosh Supercut Is The Nakedest Supercut - My girlfriend loves Tosh.0, but wishes he’d stop being naked and showing gross-out videos all the time. All I can think is “why the f**k do you like Tosh.0, then”. [Buzzfeed]
The Funniest Animal Photobombs Of All Time - Needs more boing sound effects. [HuffPost Comedy]
Disney Princesses Reimagined As Hipsters - And yes, I would try to hook up with every single one of them. Hipster Snow White ftw. [The FW]
The 9 Most Unfairly Typecast Animals - Poor pit bulls, you are the Henry Pollard of the animal kingdom. [FARK]
Vintage Promos: Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer Goes Full Force - In an effort to get all the people who hate me covering wrestling to be okay with it (or even enjoy it), here’s a classic from my days at “AOL News” featuring IPW’s most famous full force-going table-turner Jeff Farmer. If you aren’t laughing at the first word out of his mouth, there’s no hope for you. [HuffPo Presents The Sporting News]
Troy Polamalu Tries To Go Viral - I almost wrote about this yesterday, then thought about it for about four seconds and realized I’d be more or less posting about Powerade commercials. In no universe can you swipe at someone’s giant mess with hair clippers and come away with a perfect bald spot. The comments on the video are hilarious, though. [Shutdown Corner]
Nic Cage’s Son Plans to Prove Sanity by Becoming a Cage Fighter - He’s been practicing on his pregnant wife all year, so I’m sure he’ll do fine. Turns out Nicholas Cage’s son is more like a Napoleon Dynamite character than anyone in the world, including the guy that played Napoleon Dynamite. [Film Drunk]
Gallery: 10 Insane MMA Fan Tattoos - I think tattoos are beautiful, and I think body modification should have no social boundaries. That being said, 99% of people who have an idea for a tattoo should be shackled and thrown into a pit before being allowed to get them. [Cage Potato]
The Dugout: The Upper Upper Deck - Jim Thome hits a huge home run and I finally get around to writing about it in capital letters. I lost my old copy of Photoshop when my computer crashed and I’m trying to build these things with paint and f’ing Netscape Navigator. If you can help a brother out, please do so. [The Dugout]
Evan Longoria Is Digging Alex Morgan -As a blogger and longtime fan, I know baseball players are the kings of pretending you don’t exist. That’s part of what makes this so funny. Oh, okay Kyle Farnsworth, if I was a hot soccer star you’d want to do an interview with me? Good to know. [With Leather]
20 More Wrestling Clips for Attack of the Show to “Discover” - If the Jeff Farmer video didn’t work, try this collection of videos from the world of independent wrestling that involve scared children, strippers, plush wrestling dragons and more. [With Leather]
The Tosh.0 Marathon - I was proud yesterday when my girlfriend mentioned that “Parks and Recreation” is “probably [her] favorite show”. Previously it was Tosh. Maybe she got sick of watching people break their bones and vomit. [With Leather]
Top 20 Villainous Laughs - A great list, but completely invalid due to the omission of Fiona, head of Mega Records from Josie and the Pussycats. Maybe they’re saving her for the top 20 instances of people yelling LIGHTS and having lights turn on. [Gamma Squad]
Andrew WK Likes Comics More Than You - Yeah, but I bet I like partying way more than him. [Adult Swim]
Which Nurse From Popular Culture Would You Prefer Be Treated By - As someone who was sick a lot as a kid I don’t entertain that nurse fantasy, and if I was in the hospital I’d want someone to make me well, not have sex with me. That being said, I’d probably pick Ann Perkins, because she’s been a nurse for a long time and seems like she’s good at her job, and also is extremely pretty. [Uproxx]
This week’s requisite Tosh post spotlights the $150,000 Tosh.0 Marathon, wherein thousands of people gathered to run on treadmills on Hermosa Beach in California to see how far they could get before a Kenyan runner finished first. As if that weren’t enough, the marathon featured magicians, stairmasters, improv sketch comedy and a bunch of horrible racism that is okay because he’s kidding. You can check out the video below, but be aware of all the cursing and slow motion lady-running before you click play.
The best part is even Tosh being unable to mock the affable Kenyan guy at the end. I did the math, and if I’d participated in this with my sharp 17-minute mile, I would’ve logged about 7/10th of one before giving up and having fun on the beach.
I’m not sure where the line between “embarrassing yourself on the Internet” and “embarrassing yourself in real life and having people talk about it on the Internet” is drawn, but last night’s episode of Tosh.0 featured a Web Redemption for Steve Consalvi, the then-high school senior who ran out onto the field during a Phillies/Cardinals game last season and got compromised to a temporary end by a security guard’s taser.
Of course the Daniel Tosh idea of redeeming the kid is to have him pretend to f**k a transvestite prostitute (who is then killed), because “I hate black people” and “I hate women” were too hard to work in. It’s still pretty funny, if you stick around for the X-Men Origins: Wolverine ending. Check out the full video below.
Well, it’s not exactly the Afro Ninja pulling off a backflip, but what can you do? I feel like his “web redemption” should’ve been apologizing for being a teenager and watching a baseball game in peace.
Because I can’t reblog entire half hours of Norm MacDonald talking about sports, here’s the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” guy’s web redemption on last night’s episode of “Tosh.0.” When you type it like that it reads like “tosh point oh point.” Anyway, Gus Johnson makes a funny cameo and Tosh(‘s writers) get to rant at length about ESPN personalities. The best part of the entire video is the explanation of where “boom goes the dynamite” comes from, a very human, identifiable story about how happy it makes you when you destroy somebody with a green shell in Mario Kart.
This is the second sports-related Tosh this season, alongside last week’s Manny Pacquiao appearance, so maybe he’ll keep doing these and I’ll have a reason other than LOLing at racism and misogyny to watch. Steve Bartman could use a web redemption, at least.