With the NHL entering the 68th day of the lockout, teams are probably more desperate than ever to earn a little coin on the side, and it might seem like the Toronto Maple leafs reached that tipping point back in October. At a recent auction, 112 random items from the Maple Leaf Gardens were sold to the highest bidders, and sure, you can say that all sports franchises auction off stuff like chairs and banners and whatnot, but it’s fun to pretend like an NHL team is desperate and broke.

But in fairness, this auction actually occurred because a private collector named Sherman Cunningham decided it was time to get rid of all of his Leafs clutter that included an original, one-of-a-kind 1967 Stanley Cup banner. Oh, and he also had a toilet from the locker room, because you wouldn’t want a locker room toilet?

Cunningham paid $3,600 for the toilet 12 years ago, so how much did this porcelain poop container mature over the years? It sold for $5,300 to 55-year old lawyer Jim Vigmond. What the hell do you do with a $5,300 toilet anyway?

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Justin Bieber is currently in Toronto to record a TV special for Christmas, and he spent yesterday giving back to his fellow hosers by handing out food at the Daily Bread Food Bank before he made one child’s dream come true. Bieber and a child from the Children’s Wish Foundation of Canada were welcomed by the Toronto Maple Leafs for yesterday’s practice and the Biebs put on a little display of his figure skating mad hockey skillz.

Despite having a reputation for being a spoiled brat, it’s pretty cool that Biebs took the time to make a terminally ill child a little happier, so for today I will go easy on the 17-year old pop star.

*folds up drawings of Bieber falling into a volcano, slides them under pillow*

Meanwhile, the Vancouver Canucks had Canada’s third national treasure* Michael Buble at their practice on Tuesday, but he wasn’t doing anything for charity so he’s not the lede. Buble called the chance to take a shot against Roberto Luongo the greatest day of his life, but unfortunately his shot missed. So he went outside, took a dump on the hood of a cop car and threw a trash can through the window of a Forever 21.

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Last month, by way of one of the best photo galleries ever put together by man, we introduced you to Wayne Gretzky’s daughter Paulina. She’s gorgeous, and her only jobs or hobbies seem to be being gorgeous, taking pictures with an expensive camera, photoshopping them to look vintage and occasionally mentioning what her Dad does (or is about to do) on Twitter. We had a great set-up that benefited everyone.

Unfortunately, the first rule of Pro Stars is that you do not talk about Pro Stars.

Paulina’s Twitter feed has been discontinued, and the Toronto Star is speculating that her father’s involvement in a potential purchase of the Toronto Maple Leafs might have something to do with it.

According to the Star, before shutting down her feed, Paulina tweeted, “Having a nice sit down dinner with my dad about social media..haha #SIKEEE.” She then signed off on Saturday, writing, “Taking a break from Twitter for a bit. Happy Holidays!!! xoxo.”

I wonder sometimes if beautiful, semi-famous young people think Twitter is the audience from ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’, where the Fresh Prince characters can see them and they’re there, but nobody mentions it. If I said something passive-aggressive about my Dad on the Internet when I was a teenager he would’ve spent the next 20 years refreshing the page every day and grounding me for every haha-serving-as-punctuation and hashtag.

In all seriousness, we wish Paulina a quick and happy return to the Internet. She’s like Courtney Stodden without all the emotional abuse.

[via NESN]

The summer has not been kind to hockey.

In May, New York Rangers left winger Derek Boogaard mixed alcohol and oxycodone and died. Earlier this month, Winnipeg Jets forward Rick Rypien killed himself, and now, just yesterday afternoon, 15-year NHL veteran Wade Belak has been found dead in Toronto. Foul play isn’t suspected and we don’t officially know the cause of death, but CBC is saying it was suicide. Three tragedies since May.

A 12th-overall draft pick in 1994, the 35-year old Belak spent his time in pro hockey with the Colorado Avalanche, Calgary Flames, Toronto Maple Leafs, Florida Panthers and Nashville Predators. He retired in March, but had been named as one of the contestants for the upcoming third season of the CBC’s “Battle of the Blades” and was scheduled to be part of the Predators’ television broadcast team. Former Nashville Predators assistant General Manager Mike Santos (now with the Panthers) talked to the Miami Herald about Belak’s passing, and put it way better than anyone writing a blog about it could.

“He was as friendly and nice a person as I have ever met,” Santos said. “He would give you the shirt off his back. He did so much for kids and our community. He was wonderful. I’m shocked. I’m sad. I don’t know what to say. It’s a real shame. He’s the best.”

That’s it in a nutshell, really. You remember the kindness, and you don’t know why it was taken away. The Predators, the team with whom Belak spent his final three seasons, issued their own statement:

“The entire Nashville Predators organization and family is shocked and saddened by the sudden and untimely passing of Wade Belak. Wade was a beloved member of the organization, a terrific teammate and wonderful father and husband. He will be greatly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his wife Jennifer and children Andie and Alex. We offer our full support to them at this very difficult time.”

If you visit our friends at Puck Daddy you can read comments from Gary Bettman, Donald Fehr and more as they come in throughout the day. Hopefully this is the last time hockey fans and families will have to go through this, at least for a little while.

ESPN the Magazine, or Highlights for sports fans as I like to call it, has finally released its highly-anticipated 9th-annual Ultimate Standings. If you’re unfamiliar, the Ultimate Standings are a guide to determining which sports franchises of the four major North American leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL) offer their fans the best experience, from cost to winning. Ultimately, it’s probably the most scientific method of telling us what we already know.

ESPN’s brain trust determined the standings with 8 categories:

Bang For The Buck (BNG): Wins during the past three years (regular season plus postseason) per revenues directly from fans, adjusted for league schedules.

Fan Relations (FRL): Openness and consideration toward fans by players, coaches and management.

Ownership (OWN): Honesty and loyalty to core players and local community.

Affordability (AFF): Price of tickets, parking and concessions.

Stadium Experience (STX): Quality of arena and game-day promotions as well as friendliness of environment.

Players (PLA): Effort on the field and likability off it.

Coaching (CCH): Strength of on-field leadership.

Title Track (TTR): Championships already won or expected in the lifetime of current fans.

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In a story that almost made me break out the “Yahoo Serious Festival” screen grab from The Simpsons, the Toronto Maple Leafs (the real NHL hockey team, in real life) have signed Mark Owuya, a 21-year old rapping Swedish goalie, to an entry-level contract. Sure, Mark did great in his 32 games in the Swedish Elite League last season, but he’s also a failed American Idol contestant who calls himself “Mark in Da Park” and uploads songs about poppin’ that thang to YouTube.

“After each game, I’d do a rap,” he said. “On the buses, some guys may start beat-boxing and I’ll start freestyling about stuff that happened.”

Yeah dude that sounds great. Here’s a clip of his tryout for Swedish Idol, wherein he compares his penis to a banana and breaks out the phrase “like a motherf**ker” on Swedish TV. I guess they don’t care about that kind of thing. Swedish is great because it’s all mixed up with other languages, and even the Swedish sparts sound like jacked up English. So here’s a clippin dur American Yodel!

Thank goodness he has a professional hockey career to fall back on.

[via Hot Clicks]