Canadian Football, You So Crazy, Eh?

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.01.10

moose

I have watched Canadian Football as many times in my life as I have had sex with a Victoria’s Secret model, and I know what you’re thinking, but no, I don’t actually have sex with Victoria’s Secret models nightly. It’s actually zero times, so you’ll understand that I was a bit clueless when it came to watching the ending of Friday night’s game between the Montreal Alouettes (the gentille Alouettes? – Ed.) and the Toronto Argonauts. Tied at 30, the Als line up to kick the game-winning field goal, which I assume would give Montreal control of Canadian parliament. I’m not sure, but that’s what my parole officer told me.

In the CFL, the most notable difference in field goal kicking from the NFL is the position of the goal post, but don’t worry – it gets even zanier! You see, if the kicker makes the field goal, the team gets 3 points, plain and simple. However, if the kicker misses the FG, the defense (or defence for our northern friends) has to retrieve the ball and either return it out of the end zone or, if they don’t think they can return it, they have to kick the ball away. If the kicking team recovers the ball in the end zone, they get the touchdown, or if the ball goes out of the end zone, they also get one point. I guess what I’m trying to say is – SACRE BLEU!

Video of Canadian football chaos after the jump…

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RICKY WILLIAMS IS GETTING HIGH ON YOGA

Written by Matt / 11.09.06

Despite recent events that suggest Ricky Williams is a little pissed off and tired of being in Canada, his agent Leigh Steinberg assured Fox Sports Radio otherwise:

Oh he is absolutely in the best spirits. He found something to substitute for substance abuse which is a philosophy of yoga and sort of eastern philosophy and he meditates and it gives him tremendous peace.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. "Hey Ricky, put the bong down and try this Downward Dog. It's so fucking peaceful it will blow your mind."

I don't buy it. There just isn't a physical activity out there that's a legitimate substitute for substance abuse. This one girl tried to get me to put a beer down so I could dance with her, and I pushed her down a flight of stairs.

UPDATE: For intelligent discourse on this subject, check out Dave's Football Blog

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