It’s impossible to overstate the brilliance and cultural impact of ‘The Simpsons’. It’s the reason why most of us think what we think is funny is funny, whether we’ll admit it or not.

It’s just as impossible to agree on what constitutes the “golden age” of the show. Everyone agrees that there’s a certain time frame in which ‘The Simpsons’ was the best show on television (and possibly ever), but we all have a different interpretation of when that era started and stopped. Some people think it was the first 9 or 10 season. Some people narrow that down to 1-8. Some people with impossible f**king standards think it peaked from seasons 3-5, or even 4.

For this week’s Sports On TV column, I used the most generally agreed-upon definition of the show’s prime: season 2 through season 8. Tackling the best sports moments of a monster like ‘The Simpsons’ is tough, so consider this a Part 1 of its own series, destined to include a Part 2, Part 3, and even a Part 4, should we delve into those wretched, later season guest star hives like “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.

So please enjoy the 20 best sports moments from the golden age of ‘The Simpsons,’ and be sure to drop us a comment and share your love. Special thanks to Ari Amaru for the screencaps.

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Aw, at least your beard is neatly trimmed.

Yesterday, I examined the slump of Albert Pujols and his inability to hit a home run so far this season, as he and his Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are settling themselves into quite the hole. The Halos lost their 4th consecutive game yesterday – the Tampa Bay Rays won 4-3 thanks to a walk-off bomb from Brandon Allen – and are now 9 games back of the first place Texas Rangers. Not looking good for Mike Scioscia and company.

But the good news is that Pujols was 1-for-4 yesterday, ending his hitless streak at 21 at-bats. Still, he has no home runs this season and he has tied his longest power outage at 26 games. The man who just inked a 10-year, $240 million deal – with another decade or so of front office work tacked on – now hasn’t hit a dinger in 105 regular season at-bats. Apparently people are ignoring his Mr. October night against the Texas Rangers in the World Series, but who remembers when he was a St. Louis Cardinal anyway?

Thankfully, the Internet is awesome and someone made my favorite photoshop of the week as a tribute to Pujols. Seriously, I heart this so much.

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He’s not technically a Baltimore Oriole anymore, but when the O’s disassociate themselves from you you’re an Oriole until proven otherwise. From an AP report:

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic (AP) Former major leaguer Vladimir Guerrero said he has surrendered to police after authorities contend he attacked a police officer in a disco. Guerrero denied being part of an attack.

Police said no charges have been filed against Guerrero following the mayhem in Nizao, about 40 miles from Santo Domingo.

Maximo Baez Aybar, a spokesman for the police in the Dominican Republic, maintained Guerrero “physically attacked” police officer Renato Pena Rojas after a brawl broke out in the disco. Baez Aybar asked that Guerrero turn himself in “so the case can be put in the hands of the justice system.”

Thanks to chatroom technology we can jump to the moment of the arrest and find out exactly what happened, pending my ability to remember Spanish. Today’s Opening Days Dugout (which was originally just the above picture with FLAGGERERRO written at the bottom) is after the jump.

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With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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Former New York Jets quarterback Joe Namath believes that there’s only one thing you need to know to be a great quarterback, and he’d rather jog back to his car than fill in new Jet Tim Tebow.

When word spread that the Jets had traded for Tim Tebow, it was only a matter of time before the franchise’s most famous quarterback chimed in with his take.

“I’m just sorry that I can’t agree with this situation,” Namath told ESPN Radio New York on Wednesday. “I think it’s just a publicity stunt. I can’t go with it. I think it’s wrong. I don’t think they know what they’re doing over there.” (via NFL.com)

I know that Tim Tebow is a fundamentally terrible pro quarterback and that a lot of the successes his fans attributed to faith or whatever last season had more to do with the rest of the Denver Broncos busting their asses, but I’m starting to feel really badly for the guy.

I have one of the least important jobs in the world, and if someone leaves a dismissive comment about how I suck, I don’t lose my mind over it, but it does make me feel bad. Imagine if every day of your life was full of sports, TV and media analysis making raspberries when they hear your name, running you down for being worthless and suggesting that anyone who DOES want or support you is just doing it for lulz? It’s not exactly putting your name on a tombstone on the front page of the newspaper, but it’s gotta be rough.

Surely Tebow will soldier through this and use the doubters to fuel his future successes, thanks in part to his faith in God, as well as his beautiful mistress, millions of dollars, solid gold house and rocket car.

Here’s one for the KEEP YOUR POLITICS OUT OF MY SPORTS tag. From College Football Section (wait, what?):

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum visited LSU’s Alex Box Stadium over the weekend and found time to show off decent form in the batting cage. President Bush and President Obama both have done first pitch duties, but if Mr. Santorum is elected, he might be the first to take batting practice.

At first it looks like “The True Conservative” (who looks, sounds and acts exactly like Jim Bob Duggar) is taking some good cuts, until you realize that those pitches are coming in at dead turtle lob speed and might as well be sitting on a tee. Regardless, it’s fun to see these incognito space monsters attempting to look human, and it’s a nice break from Barack Obama’s liberal basketball agenda.

For further “Republican Presidential candidates taking batting practice” jokes, Rick Perry couldn’t step into the cage because of his rampant menstrual bleeding, but Mitt Romney took a relaxed attitude toward work to watch the baseball match, mentioning that the Nye-mets are his favorite squadron.