Tom Glavine allowed two runs in 6 1/3 innings against the Cubs last night to earn his 300th career win as the Mets cruised to an 8-3 victory.  He is the 23rd player in history to reach the mark, and just the fifth lefthander. The milestone moved him to 10-6 on the season, and will be added to his list of considerable accomplishments: five 20-win seasons, two Cy Young awards, and a World Series victory.  An ESPN.com teaser link this morning: "Glavine a lock for the Hall of Fame?"

Ya fuckin' think?  Is ESPN actually trying to create discussion over something written in stone?  Ugh, that's just not good for my blood pressure on a Monday morning.

Also seen in last night's game: KERRY WOOD.  Yes, that Kerry Wood.  On the playing field.  Throwing pitches.  I shit you not. 

Other MLB scores: Tigers must REALLY be slumping: swept by White Sox with 3-1 loss. Bobby Jenks (pictured) got the save… Nationals have a six-game winning streak!  Cardinals' 6-3 loss keeps DC rolling… Schmendrick Lackey wins 14th game in Angels' 4-3 victory over A's… Barry Zito make a relief appearance, Giants continue to suck ass in loss to Padres.

Tom Glavine made his first attempt at career win number 300, and he pitched a mere six innings and gave up an entire run, leaving with a 2-1 lead to which he contributed nothing offensively.  So it serves him right that Guillermo Mota gave up the game-tying hit in the 8th inning before the Mets lost to the Brewers 4-2 in 13 innings.  I hope Glavine learned his lesson.  Maybe next time he'll consider swinging the bat a little or not turning in a bloated 1.50 game ERA.

Lastings Milledge made game-saving catches in the 9th and 12th innings (somewhat negating his 0-for-6 performance), but Geoff Jenkins's two-run blast ended the game to keep the Brewers a game ahead of the Cubs (?) in the NL Central.  Glavine's next shot at 300 will be against the Cubs in Wrigley this weekend.

Other MLB scores: Yankees hit 8 homers — none of them A-Rod's 500th — in 16-3 mauling of White Sox… Cards win fourth straight to get to three games below .500.  I smell World Series!… Kari Brandon Webb pitches seven scoreless innings in D-Backs' shutout of Padres… Ortiz it this one?  Big Papi homers twice but Sox lose to O's as Beckett falls to 13-5.

Two old guys who were teammates for a decade and a half starting in the Reagan years pitched pretty damn well last night, but only won of them could get the win.  John Smoltz (7 innings, no runs, 5 Ks) outdueled Tom Glavine (six innings, five hits, 2 runs) to get his 200th win and improve to 7-2 on the season as the Braves beat the Mets 2-1.

Wait, 200th win?  That's it?  Glavine's almost got 300 and their other buddy from the '90s, Greg Maddux, is like halfway to 400 by now (edit: I meant halfway to 400 since his 300th win, i.e. like 350. It made sense in my head at the time).  What the hell has Smoltz been doing?  What's that?  Getting over 150 career saves?  Whatever.  He's still the Kate Jackson of those Charlie's Angels.

Fun fact!  Rafael Soriano, acquired in a trade with the Mariners for Horacio Ramirez, pitched a scoreless inning for the hold, his seventh of the season.  Ramirez (ERA: 6.47) also pitched last night.  He lasted two innings before leaving with tightness in his shoulder as the M's lost to Tampa Bay 13-12.

Other MLB scores: RAWR! Tigers maul Angels 12-0… Another wild night in Miami: Fish beat Phils 5-4 in 11 innings thanks to Miguel Cabrera's game-winning hit. The Phils loaded the bases in the top of the inning but couldn't score a run. Also featured: a bench-clearing fracas in the 4th… Da Meat Hook is back: Dmitri Young led the Nats over the Reds in a battle of the best AAA teams in the NL.

Youth was served as 41-year-old Tom Glavine pitched the Mets to a 5-3 victory over the Phillies and 44-year-old Jamie Moyer.  It was the oldest combined age for a pair of left-handed starters in Major League history. Oh man, good luck getting that smell off the mound.

Jimmy Rollins hit a pair of home runs in a losing effort as the Phils dropped to 2-7.  In the other dugout, Glavine celebrated his 292nd career victory by knocking back some warm milk and eating an extra fruit cup.  For his losing effort, Moyer may be sent to the Phillies' Triple-A nursing home.

Man I love making old-people jokes.  I can't wait to die young and beautiful.

Other baseball news: The Nationals actually won!  They somehow pitched a shutout, if you can believe it… Justin Morneau's walk-off home run gave the Twins a somewhat dramatic victory.  I say "somewhat" because it was against the D-Rays… the Mariners had another game postponed by weather. They're on pace to play their 81st game in September — which is great news for M's fans.

Tom Glavine is considering retirement following this season, particularly if he wins his 300th game.  Tommy is sitting at 290 wins, so I think he can fool umpires into calling that outside strike for ten more victories.  Memo to the teams of the National League: Let him have it, so we don't have to go through this will he or won't he bullshit next offseason – that's Clemens' schtick.

Glavine is probably the best left-handed pitcher since Sandy Koufax, and he is virtually assured of election to the Hall of Fame.  You know who cares about his impending retirement?  Nobody.  Did you know that Greg Maddux will pitch for the Padres this season?  The ladies would rather discuss the 'cream' and the 'clear', the finer points of Albert Pujols' batting stance, and how Magglio Ordóñez makes them 'misty' when trots into right field.  It even seems John Smoltz's wife would rather talk about things other than good pitching.-KD