If you missed the last five minutes of last night’s game between the Colts and Patriots–which is not a rivalry but a fine matchup nonetheless–you saw Bill Belichick instantly shed the label of “coaching genius” when he sent his offense back out onto the field for a 4th and 2 play from his own 28 yard line. With a six-point lead, Tom Brady threw a screen pass to Kevin Faulk, who bobbled the ball in front of the chains, completed the catch, and was knocked backwards by the Colts’ defense. The ball was spotted short of the first down just before the 2-minute warning, and the Patriots, having used two timeouts on their very short drive, could not challenge the call. Peyton drives the Colts down the short field for a Reggie Wayne TD catch, and the extra point seals a 35-34 Colts win.
There’s only so many ways to say “insane.” Belichick didn’t seem confident after the failed 3rd and 2 pass that he was planning to go for it all along. Who throws it when (a) you need two plays for two yards, and (b) you’re trying to kill the clock, even if Tom Brady is your quarterback?
Was Belichick so immersed in his own excellence that he just assumed he could get the two yards? Or was he so convinced that Peyton Manning was going to beat him anyway? Of course, if Belichick gets his two yards, we’re not having this discussion, but that still doesn’t mean it wasn’t the dumbest call ever.
I can appreciate that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are both great NFL quarterbacks. They and their teams are the Stuffed Chicken Marsala and Tour of Italy of the NFL–perennially delicious and on the brain without so much of a glance at the other fare on the menu. They’re always good. And I understand that, yes, these teams have played each other every year since 2003 and occasionally meet in the playoffs. But does that really make Colts-Patriots a rivalry?
Merriam-Webster defines rival as simply, “one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess.” But doesn’t that apply to all 32 teams in the NFL? You know, besides the Browns? What makes this “rivalry” different. Well, aside from the fact that the Colts and Patriots shared a division until the 2002 season, not a whole hell of a lot.
The teams don’t exactly share similarities–the Patriots are a shrewd, defensive-minded team cast in the image of their maker/videographer Bill Belichick. The Foxboro defense relies on both exuberant team speed and sometimes parts discarded from other clubs. The Colts, conversely, let it all hang out, and are happy to let Pey-Pey lead the offense’s expeditions to the end zone and hope that the defense can keep up. It’s the same blueprint that the Saints have used in their own digs; when a team plays more than half their games in favorable climates, you can do that.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s going to be a badass game. But that’s all it is. There’s no turf war between Boston and Indianapolis, no bolstered competitiveness that can’t be found in any other game involving great teams. But when two of the league’s best get together on national TV, there’s doesn’t have to be.
As a bizarre slate of games–one where all the good, capable teams were playing each other as the curious, questionable teams were doing the same–was beginning to unfold, the I-coulda-swore-they-were-dead-last-week New England Patriots were blowing out the winless Tennessee Titans. As the snow fell, so did six touchdown passes fall from the hand of Tom Brady, including five in one quarter, which is obviously an NFL record or else there would be no fun in bringing that up.
“I’m disappointed and embarrassed,” Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher said. “Fortunately for me, career-wise, I have never been through anything like this before and, unfortunately, it happened tonight. I can assure you one thing, it’s not going to happen again.”
The Titans couldn’t even stop New England when Brian Hoyer(notes), a free agent rookie from Michigan State, took over for Brady on the second series of the third quarter with the score 52-0. He completed 9 of 11 passes for 52 yards in his pro debut and scored on a 1-yard run on his first series. via.
So now everyone is left to wonder why Bill Belichick stuck his foot so far up Jeff Fisher’s ass. I’m more concerned about how Tennessee–a division champ from a year ago–can’t seem to win a game, or even now show up for one. Brady was benched in the third after going 29-of-34, and it’s ridiculous to think that any sort of decorum would force Belichick to make that move sooner. Tennessee snowed itself in here. And it will be up to them over the next 11 weeks to find a way to dig themselves out.
Before yesterday, Rodney Harrison had contributed absolutely nothing in his first year as an “analyst” for NBC’s Sunday Night football coverage. He’s done nothing to separate himself from the notion that analysts are nothing more than notable ex-players thrust in front of the camera without any ability to bring the viewer closer to bring the viewer into the game. And so instead of trying to make any sort of notable point about this questionable roughing-the-passer call in the Patriots-Ravens game yesterday, he called out Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for…something.

Horrible call. You can’t make this call. And Tom Brady, if you’re listenin’, take off the skirt and put on some slacks. Toughen up.
To be fair, Harrison is the guy lost in the shuffle with the addition of Uncle Tom Dungy; Rodney’s opportunities to say anything are fairly limited. That said, let’s back the truck up. Brady didn’t throw the flag on Terrell Suggs, the referee did. And secondly, if taking two steps and falling into a guy’s knee isn’t a personal foul [depending on the language of the rule], it should be. Regardless of the amount of contact, how can a lunge into a guy’s knee like that be construed as anything but forcible?
And Ray Lewis, if you’re going to play the victim on-camera again anytime soon? Try a different hat.
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I’m already sick to death of people whining, “Oh, Tom Brady blew off Suzy Kolber for an interview.” Yeah, so? Do you have any idea of the demands on his time? Tom Brady makes $10 million a year for a reason, and it’s not so he can flash a flight attendant’s smile whenever somebody jams a camera into his face.
Think about his relationship with the media over the past year. Everything the guy does is being covered by either ESPN or US Weekly or the Honduran Gay Men’s Journal, Drew’s personal favorite. Dude had armed guards to keep the paparazzi out of his wedding. And keep in mind that he wasn’t even playing for nearly all of 2008. And he comes back last night and nearly loses to the GD Bills [and probably should have, were it not for the heroics of the Bills' Leodis McKelvin], and now he’s supposed to stop in his tracks and spoon-feed the beast? I don’t care if he’s just getting off of work or not; if he doesn’t want to talk to the media, he shouldn’t have to outrun Suzy Kolber to make that point.
That said…damn, Tom. Did you hurt your knee so bad that you couldn’t outrun some 45-year-old woman? But this is a guy that’s already knocked up two of the most beautiful women in the world. After pulling that off, I really don’t see why he should be making time for anyone else. Do you? vid.
Anthony Giaccone and Henry Olszewski are insurance brokers at Long Island’s Intermarket Insurance Agency, Inc. And they officially are also the greatest inventors ever, having crafted a way for fantasy football owners to take out insurance policies on their star players. Where were these guys last year when I had Tom Brady?! Actually, that Brady injury in Week 1 of last year was the very impetus behind what is now FantasySportsInsurance.com.
Before the first weekend of the NFL season, the fantasy owner selects the player he wishes to insure — let’s say it’s his top pick, Peyton Manning of Indianapolis. He then enters his league entry fee ($250 for this scenario, though FSI offers claims up to $1,000), transaction fees ($0), and money spent on additional expenses, like magazines and online subscriptions ($15).
FSI then determines the cost of the policy based on those numbers, with every top-50 player — from the chronically-injured Steven Jackson of the St. Louis Rams to the Atlanta Falcons’ relatively sturdy Michael Turner. In this case, insuring Mr. Manning for a 15-game fantasy season would cost $29.87. For just under $30, an owner who loses Mr. Manning to injury for 10 of his 15 fantasy games would recoup the entire $265 he spent on his fantasy team from FSI. And he could still replace the star quarterback with a waiver-wire pickup and salvage the season anyway. via.
Terrific. Now can I buy insurance that will bring me new friends if they decide I’m too obsessed with fantasy sports and they stop talking to me? Eh, I’m only kidding. Like I have any friends… Thanks, flubby.