Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay is the kind of guy who’d be a 52-year old multimillionaire and have his Twitter icon be a picture of himself playing guitar, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he’d offer two Super Bowl tickets to whatever random person could predict the new Colts head coach. It would also not be surprising if he propped up a cardboard box with a stick, put Super Bowl tickets under it, then pulled the stick away when you crawled under to grab them.

The contest, via @JimIrsay:

However, like any contest suddenly proposed by a rich person, there are rules:

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I guess losing 37-10 to the New York Jets doesn’t sit well with anybody.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired coach Todd Haley on Monday, effective immediately.

The team did not name an interim coach in their statement announcing the move, however a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that the Chiefs have told members of their organization that defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel will replace Haley on an interim basis.

Haley’s run in Kansas City wasn’t all monstrously embarrassing losses … he went 19-27 in his three seasons with the Chiefs, and he took the team to an AFC West division title in 2010, even if they bailed in the playoffs. Statements from the Chiefs have been largely positive, full of “Todd helped” and “this was a difficult decision”, but it’s pretty hard for me to feel sorrow or sympathy for any football coach for doing anything, because their job is more or less to stand there screaming and murmur quietly through post-game press. The press releases always find their way to “but this is what’s best for the team” in a few words. I want to see a coach keep his job through performances like this because the CEO thinks going 5-8 is what’s best for the team.

For more on the firing, I turn to the Twitter of the only Chiefs fan I know in real life, Jon Bois:

Reports: the candidates for the Chiefs’ coaching job narrowed down to an ape who has fallen into a well and the bell he won’t stop ringing. Chiefs also considering hiring a recently-divorced shirtless man who totally just ate a children’s cartoon-themed cereal with water

Welcome to Week 2 of my new weekly Random NFL Thoughts installment. Feel free to join in the conversation in the comments, even if to tell me how completely wrong I am.

If you have the pleasure of following Indianapolis Colts GM Jim Irsay on Twitter, then you know two things – 1) He’s a huge music fan, and 2) He’s possibly a lunatic. Irsay has a tendency of Tweeting random song lyrics in a way that the average person – and especially the average Twitter user – might not catch on to very well, if they even get him at all. In the case of the latter, he comes across as a complete psychopath.

But in between those lyrical Tweets, he openly talks about Colts football with fans, and since the lockout ended, the only topic regarding Indy football has been Peyton Manning’s neck. By all accounts, the guy who just signed a contract that guarantees him close to $100 million over the rest of his career will not be ready for Week 1. Manning hasn’t seen a snap in the preseason, but that should’t really be a problem for one of the game’s elite QBs if he’s actually going to start the season opener. He can just kick off the rust and run with it. Either way, Irsay wants to f*ck with us.

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If anyone was watching the Ravens-Chiefs game Sunday, you might have noticed that the Chiefs offense wasn’t as good in the second half than the first. How’s that for good analysis? Then again, they scored their only seven points in the first quarter and had some bad turnovers, but the second half offense was somehow worse.

It’s now being said that Todd Haley, head coach of the Chiefs, took the mic away from offensive coordinator Charlie Weis and chose his own plays. Keep in mind that Weis is heading to Florida after this season, so he probably didn’t have much patience with Haley. At least, I know I wouldn’t.
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Todd Haley has had it with Chan Gailey’s foolishness; the Kansas City Chiefs head coach fired his offensive coordinator today, two days after Matt Cassel suffered a ligament sprain in his knee scrambling out of the pocket in the first quarter of the team’s third preseason game. They’re 0-3, and I’ll mention that like it really matters.

The Chiefs said head coach Todd Haley would address Gailey’s status with the team after Monday’s practice.

The Chiefs had retained Gailey when Haley was hired in the offseason. via.

There’s no indication whether or not Gailey will take another position with the team, but even if he did get Haley’s quarterback dinged up, it would be downright cold to throw a coach out on the street less than two weeks before the season started. But Haley knows he’s fighting against the current and must take drastic measures to get his team on track. These head coaches are under so much pressure these days; that’s why I tend to be sympathetic whenever these guys fire assistants, punch out assistants, or dress up as clowns to terrify schoolchildren. Not that any coaches have dressed up as clowns yet, but when they do, I’ll be waiting with open arms, ready to forgive.

This is the kind of story the blogosphere lives for. Remember Todd Haley, the Dallas Cowboys receivers coach who was in the news for his ugly exchange with Terrell Owens? Well, he's suing McDonald's for $1.7 million, because he and his family found a rat in their salad last June.

According to the lawsuit, Christine Haley and [au pair Kathryn] Kelley had eaten part of the salad purchased June 5 at a McDonald's in Southlake before the rat was discovered. The women became violently ill and endured long-lasting physical injuries, the lawsuit said. Believed to be a juvenile roof rat, the rodent was about 6 inches long and was found on its back with its mouth opened.

What's the big deal here? I mean, the rat was dead, right? And it wasn't even fully grown. You just eat around it; the salad's still good.

I don't understand the $1.7 million. I'd deal with a rat in my salad for, oh, I'd say about three hundred bucks, cash. Like, every day. "I'll have the rat salad and whatever's in the cash register. Thanks." As you can see, with this kind of business acumen, it's obvious how I attained my lofty position in sports pseudo-media.

Other takes on the story: Kissing Suzy Kolber   Deadspin   MJD for the FanHouse