I’m not one of these people that interjects “Merry Christmas” whenever someone offers wishes of “Happy Holidays,” but I bet that most of you, especially our chosen readers, can handle this latest gem from Lakers big man Ron Artest, who was asked about Kobe Bryant’s ejection from Tuesday night’s game, which somehow led into a conversation about how Jesus would have fared in the NBA.

“It happened in the past, it happened in the present, it happened in the future,” Artest said. “Not just for him. All players (get ejected). That happens a lot of times. You see guys get ejected. Rip Hamilton got ejected (recently) in Detroit. Bob Cousy got ejected … The only person who never got ejected was Jesus.”

Artest was asked if he had checked Jesus’ box scores. “No ejections,” Artest said. “He was 10 for 10s, a lot of 20 for 20s (in shooting). Perfect from the free-throw line. Infinity rebounding stats.”

FanHouse, via The Basketball Jones.

I’m betting that Jesus probably would have hated sports, and it’s obvious why: he would have been terrible at them. He would have been a fourth line winger in the AHL if he was lucky, and even then he’d have to drop the gloves once and a while, and he hated that. Maybe not as much as he would have hated sitting next to an extremist on an airplane, but you get the idea.

NFL prospect and Filipino foreskin connoisseur Tim Tebow has been invited to the NFL Draft, but the college quarterback is struggling with his decision to attend. It’s only a question of how long he wants a camera in his face while sitting around like a jackass. And don’t forget that the first round of the draft is on Thursday night, so that wait could stretch into days…

“I’ve got to figure out what will be more fun for me and best for my family. But I have to say I liked what [Cleveland tackle] Joe Thomas did on the day of the draft a couple of years ago — he went fishing with his dad.” –SI.com, via USA Today

You know what’s weird? “Philippines” is spelled with one L and two Ps, but “Filipino,” a name denoting citizenship of the Philippines, has one L and one P. Plus, it’s spelled with an F. What the foo? Oh, you thought I was going to bring all the attention that’s being heaped upon a guy that seems like a sure-fire bust in the NFL. Yeah, I guess that’s a bit odd, too.

So suddenly Tim Tebow has decided that passing from a Goose Gossage-style windup isn’t going to cut it in the NFL. Tebow’s camp has released video of him taking drops and throwing the ball from his shoulders. Why, that’s just what an NFL quarterback would do! I can’t wait to see him throw at the combine!

[Tebow] will attend the scouting combine in Indianapolis, which run from February 24th through March 2nd, but he won’t do any throwing, preferring to give himself more time to practice his new techniques.–RotoWire.

Oh.

Some people have turned this into an indictment of Urban Meyer and his inability to make Tebow “pro ready.” Yeah, because look at all the great NFL quarterbacks that Jim Tressel, Nick Saban and Mack Brown have churned out. Oh, and there was that one guy from Penn State. Joe Paterno was at Penn State for 200 years and the only NFL quarterbacks he could churn out were Kerry Collins and Benjamin Franklin. Actually, Franklin played in the CFL. That’s my bad.