Hello Impact wrestlefriends! Another week, another good show! I know! I’m surprised too. A few things first:

- The Best and Worst of NXT is a thing that is happening, and it’s rad. Best: You reading all of the Bests and Worsts. Do that here!

- Also rad? Being Twitter bros. Follow me here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. If you like sports comedy updates, Game of Thrones gifs, and cartoon representations of Evan Gelistico, these links are invaluable.

This week on Impact: Staggering highs! Crushing lows! And Joseph Park!

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Hello! My apologies for last week. If you follow me on anything other than With Leather, you’ll know that at the last minute I decided to get on a Megabus to Philadelphia for the Chikara iPPV on Sunday. In total (if you include getting to and from Toronto) I traveled roughly 30 hours. It was…a thing I most definitely did. But I’m back, still a little discombobulated, but nevertheless ready to dive into this report. A few pre-show notes:

- Sunday was wonderful and terrible and easily one of the most affecting experiences I’ve ever had. If you know anything about me, it’s that a) I love cats on treadmills, and b) I love Chikara even more. Over on the Mandible Claw, I wrote just how it makes me feel. Spoiler alert: I am currently the saddest little girl.

- I talked a bit about the show itself on Tom Holzerman’s “podcast,” if you will. You can listen to my gleeful exclamations over the Shard, our favourite matches of the night, and why you should continue to support independent wrestlers even if they no longer have a home company.

- Should you need a laugh, please check out this and this. The picture of Don West may be the single greatest thing posted to this site in the history of cats on treadmills, and is basically why Brandon and I are BFF forever.

- Didn’t know I was in Philly this weekend? Obviously you’re not following me on Twitter. You can do that here. You can also follow With Leather here, UPROXX here, but not the Shard because he doesn’t have one, and therefore I cannot skip the report to send tweets of cooing noises and hearts at him. ….that might actually be for the better, come to think of it.

This week on Impact: It’s not terrible, guys!

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As we mentioned what, three days ago? Former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson had signed a multi-year deal with Bellator and, by proxy, its sister program TNA Impact Wrestling. Impact wasted no time getting Rampage on the show, and … well, here you go.

If there’s one thing TNA does right, it’s saying how special their “special guests” are. Remember, this is the company that made Pacman Jones a tag team champion when he couldn’t legally wrestle. Rampage Jackson made his debut with WOLF MUSIC~ and all his appropriate taunts, having a brief, mumbly conversation with Jeremy Borash about “being the best” before being interrupted by Impact Wrestling’s interpretation of the best, Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. They teased a confrontation down the road and got in each others’ faces. Using TNA logic, this means that they’ll either

1. Have a match next week, which will end with run-ins and people getting hit/sprayed with props
2. Never have a match, because Rampage will be gone in three weeks

Video of the confrontation is after the jump.

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“This Knockouts Division is GREAT!”

Hold on to your vaginas, clothed lady reporters, because Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has signed an exclusive contract with Bellator. If you’ll recall, Rampage lost to Glover Teixeira back in January and walked away from UFC, then immediately started calling them liars. I’m sure no bridges will be burned here, and the deal will work out great for everybody!

Oh, and another fun thing about Rampage signing with Bellator (besides the dry humping): he’ll follow in the footsteps of pro wrestling legend KING MO by appearing on Bellator’s sister program, Bad Pro Wrestling:

According to those same sources, Jackson’s new deal will be similar to the one “King” Muhammed Lawal signed with the promotion last year, which gave him the opportunity to appear on TNA Impact Wrestling programming on Spike TV. Jackson has flirted with the idea of pursuing a pro wrestling career in the past, and it seems as though he will soon get a chance to showcase himself as a sports entertainer.

Jackson’s Bellator debut has yet to be finalized, but a fall date appears to be a possibility. (via MMA Fighting)

If his run in TNA is anything like King Mo’s, he’ll show up with great fanfare, make all of the pro wrestlers on the show look like shit, then show up a few weeks later on Bellator and get his ass kicked. I guess everything will work out fine, as long as we get Rampage and Dixie Carter on the microphone together.

Who farted?

Last week’s This Week In Horrible-Looking People was our first foray into the world of TNA Impact Wrestling glamour shots, and it was so popular we’ve decided to do it again.

In today’s gallery, you’ll find 30 hilarious promotional 8x10s featuring 27 former WWE Superstars and 3 guys who are probably good at wrestling but you’ll never know, because they’re busy eating finishers from the former WWE Superstars. Lots of buxom ladies in their underpants (sorry, “wrestling gear”), a Scott Steiner impersonator, two bad photos of Bobby Roode and a Ric Flair 8×10 redo. If you recognize the person in the photo, say WE KNOW WHO THAT IS, TAZZ out-loud. Trust me, it makes the experience more accurate.

Please click through to enjoy 30 more hilarious TNA Wrestling glamour shots. Let us know which ones are your favorites in our comments section below.

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Not what we're talking about.

Hulk Hogan was hangin’ and bangin’ beside a radiator this weekend when it exploded, severely burning his left hand. I, like many people who found out about the accident via Hogan’s Twitter, approached the injury with the same morbid curiosity I used when his sex tape was released and I heard his junk was like a leathery Pringles can.

The 59-year-old wrestling legend posted a series of tough guy snaps to Twitter of his blistered digits, which had substantially increased in size due to the singe.

Hulk captioned his gory pictures with steely but humorous references to the scalded appendage as he headed to the emergency room at the Tampa General Hospital. (via Daily Mail)

Of course, by “humorous references” they mean tweets like “ouch,” “double ouch” and “triple ouch.”

I’m including the photos after the jump (or, if you came here via a direct link, below these words) so proceed with caution, because this is the most real injury Hogan’s had since that time a giant and a mummy force-hugged him like a sandwich. Graphic images are ahead. Pretend you’re watching a late-90s WCW PPV main event and view them with one or both hands over your face.

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