The Orlando Magic and Indiana Pacers have one of the more understated and heated rivalries building in the NBA, but nobody really talks about it because it’s the Magic and the Pacers. Yawwwwwwwwn, amiright? Speaking of yawns, Danny Granger and a few of his Pacers teammates are probably a little tired this morning since they were out partying in Orlando until 2:45 a.m. Big deal, because I’ll bet Chris Duhon is still out drinking right now.

But it is a bit of a big deal, because while leaving Club 23, Pacers backup center Kyrylo Kesenko was confronted by some Orlando “fans” – and I use quotes because at 2:45 a.m. they’re really just random assh*les looking for a fight – and one even pushed the 7-footer. Then all heck broke loose. Heck, I say!

More from TMZ, “As Kyrylo tried to walk away from the situation … the mob grew in numbers and the taunts became louder.

That’s when Kyrylo’s teammate Danny Granger charged towards the clubgoer … only to be restrained by some of his friends.” (Via TMZ and their ridiculous love for ellipses.)

I’ve included the poor quality cell phone cam video of the altercation after the jump, and I think TMZ is making Granger out to be a bit more badass than he actually he is. Either way, I’m not one to preach about grown men knowing better than to go out partying, but if you’re as recognizable as Granger or, better yet, you’re a 7-foot European dude, people are probably going to talk sh*t.

I know I would. But from like two blocks away, because I’m not stupid.

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According to a continually updating report from TMZ.com, former San Diego Chargers linebacker and NFL 1990s All-Decade Team member Junior Seau has been involved in a possible shooting and may be dead. Whoa.

The report:

Cops in Oceanside, CA are investigating a possible shooting involving former NFL star Junior Seau … law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

We spoke with an investigator in the coroner’s office .. who told us they got a call to respond to the scene … though the details surrounding the situation are still unclear.

Cops are currently at a residence where 43-year-old Junior is believed to be staying.

People in law enforcement are telling us Junior Seau is dead … but we are unable to confirm that right now.

And the update:

11:06 AM PDT — A man just came out of the house appearing extremely distraught … and he is now talking with law enforcement.

This is obviously the worst kind of sports news, and I think I speak for everyone when I hope it’s not as bad as it seems.

UPDATE:

Ugh, now it’s official. TMZ says Junior Seau is dead.

NFL legend Junior Seau was found dead in his home in Oceanside, CA … and a law enforcement source at the scene tells us cops believe he shot himself.

Seau was 43-years-old … and leaves behind 3 kids and an ex-wife.

Every imaginable condolence goes out to Seau’s family.

Pro wrestling star John Cena was involved in a car accident on the Schuylkill Expressway in Philadelphia on Monday.

Fox 29 has confirmed Cena was riding as a passenger in a vehicle. A spokeswoman for the WWE said Cena was not hurt in the accident.

TMZ says Cena was riding in a vehicle that was rear-ended by a tractor trailer.

He’s fine and will still appear on tonight’s show, but #prayforcena has already taken over as the #1 trending topic. As a result, here’s our poll of the week:

- To nominate a comment for one of the top 10 of the night, be sure to reply with +1. That’ll make it easier for me to differentiate between the 2,000-or-so comments that are left.

Hulk Hogan, one of the people in the world I’m guessing you’d least like to see naked, is about to release a sex tape. According to the Hulkster it was a set-up, and by the time the video is released we’ll learn that not only did this mystery brunette set him up, she was paid-off to break his legs.

Hulk says the tape was “secretly filmed” without his permission — and now his lawyer’s on the rampage … claiming, “We will take all necessary steps to enforce both civil and criminal liability.”

Because Hulk Hogan has never told the truth once in his entire life, the tape is now in the hands of Vivid Entertainment, the same gentle folks who released ‘Backdoor To Chyna’.

Yesterday I shared with you a list of ten jokes to help you cope with the news, and thanks to the growing community of hilarious wrestling fans who read my Best And Worst Of WWE columns, here are ten more.

1. Burnsy: “Does he cut holes in the back of the condom wrapper to make it easier to tear open?”

2. mrejr8234: “Just when Hulk was gonna give the money shot he stopped and got dressed and told the lady she wasn’t ready to carry the load and finished himself off in the bathroom.”

3. TheRealMSol: “Turns out he has long blond pubes on the side of his dick, but the top is completely bald”

4. Homo_Erectus: “Does taking viagra and yelling “oh god, oh god, oh god” count as saying your prayers and taking your vitamins?”

5. brotz13: “When she kicks him out of bed, does she receive a booty call moments later from Mr. America?”

6. FunkyWarmMedina: “When he cums crashing down, does she hurt insiiiiide?”

7. PixelDrop: “Hope she was using a Bubba the Love Sponge.”

And now, a few jokes with hilarious video explanations.

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According to TMZ and every tabloid with TMZ on Google alert, a “secretly filmed” Hulk Hogan sex tape is being offered up for sale to the various high-end porn jockeys.

We’ve seen a portion of the grainy footage — featuring Hulk getting undressed and a naked, unidentified brunette lying on a bed. The woman is NOT his ex-wife Linda or his current wife Jennifer McDaniel.

To make this slightly less disgusting, I’ve gathered together ten jokes/talking points to share with your friends, should you accidentally drop “Hulk Hogan sex tape” into conversation and need an out.

1. I didn’t know Brooke Hogan was ever a brunette.

2. This is just the sequel to the one where Hogan has sex with Chyna in the middle of a Royal Rumble. Does the gay Iron Sheik show up in this one, too?

3. This is the grossest thing he’s ever done without the Nasty Boys. (Alternate joke: This gives new meaning to the term “Nasty Knobbs”.)

4. Did he bring along Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake along with him to help him f**k this woman?

5. At the end of the tape it looks like he’s about to finish, but he starts shaking and pumping his fists and walking around in a circle … when the lady asks him what’s wrong, he makes an o-face at her, points, yells “YOU!!” and keeps nailing her.

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A few weeks ago, we were more than happy to help spread the rumor that New York Jets QB Mark Sanchez was having a secret sexual affair with E! cash machine Kim Kardashian, because this is a sports humor site and there’s nothing more hilarious than a site called Starberry Ice Cream delivering a scoop. *honks bicycle horn*

Well, apparently Kardashian has adamantly denied this hokey rumor, and she’s also sworn that she’s completely uninterested in Tim Tebow. Perhaps we had her all wrong and she really does want to start a bible group. Maybe we really should consider giving more people second chances instead of mocking them. Perhaps Kardashian turning a page is something that we can actually learn from.

Nah, she’s still full of it.

Kim Kardashian isn’t secretly dating Mark Sanchez … she’s not interested in Tim Tebow — in fact, sources tell TMZ, the reality star is completely DONE with football players in general … all thanks to Reggie Bush.

Sources close to Kim tell us, her break-up with Bush in 2010 was so rough … she has lost her taste for NFL players entirely — and has no plans to play the field in the near future.

(Via TMZ)

How cool would it be if we found out that the sources close to Kim were actually two deformed goblin Kardashian siblings that have been locked in a basement for two decades, as they plot their chance to escape and reveal that Khloe’s father is really Andre the Giant? A boy can dream.

As for the football player thing, I’d believe it if we weren’t talking about a woman who is addicted to dating athletes like I’m addicted to sending Vanessa Hudgens my finger nail clippings. The timing on this random piece of info is a just a tad peculiar, especially since Bush has been out swagging it up on Miami Beach.

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