As I mentioned in yesterday’s award-winning Watch This piece – it took home “Best Tasting Bacon Dish” at Paula Deen’s family picnic – Macho Man Randy Savage, or Randy Poffo as his family knew him, passed away two years ago after he suffered a heart attack while driving with his wife in Tampa, Florida. For a lot of children of the 80s like myself, Macho Man was obviously one of the WWF’s biggest icons, alongside Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and, of course, Koko B. Ware.

But he was also a family man, and as all of his fans celebrated his legacy yesterday, his brother and mother also honored his memory in their own special way – with a lunch at Olive Garden.

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Last week, after ABC News talking figure and human alfalfa sprout George Snuffleupagus was finished feeling like a big boy for tearing NBA legend Dennis Rodman a new B-hole over his visit to North Korea, our beloved friend Matt Ufford wrote this takedown of the whole ordeal, and if you haven’t read it, you should, because it’s the good only thing you’ll read about Rodman for the rest of his life.

I say that not to be a dick, but because thanks to Snuffleupagus – whose name I refuse to spell correctly because he was a dick to Rodman – Rodman now thinks that he should travel the world and try to make other people love the U.S. again. And while the idea of reaching out to countries that hate us and probably want to nuke us is great, I could name 1 million people I’d send before I ever even thought of Rodman.

Anyway, Rodman told TMZ that he was heading to Rome to offer his advice to the Vatican on selecting a new pope, and he wasn’t kidding, because as you can see above, he’s actually in Rome. And if you think this is a joke, it’s not, because TMZ caught Rodman before his flight and this dude really wants us to think he is smart.

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If the NBA Playoffs started today, there would probably be a bunch of pissed off season ticket holders who would be like, “Yo, WTF, there are still 30 games left!” and then David Stern would laugh like a madman and throw lightning bolts at children. But it would also mean that the Brooklyn Nets would have the No. 4 seed in the Eastern Conference and a very intense first round matchup with the Chicago Bulls. The good news, though, is that the playoffs don’t start today.

Because the NBA Playoffs start on April 20, the bad news for Nets fans, if they choose to believe it, is that the long-awaited Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian divorce hearing will finally begin on May 6, and the most trusted source in NBA, marital and legal news is reporting that K-Hump would completely f*ck his team over just to finally prove that Kardashian married him for fraudulent reasons, thus exposing her as a fabricated, opportunistic fame monger and totally shocking the one person on Earth who didn’t already know this.

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So, here’s everything you need to know: Porn aficionado, Tim Tebow f**ker and New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski went out dancing at a Las Vegas nightclub. Because he’s Rob Gronkowski, he took off his shirt and acted weird. Because TMZ is TMZ, they filmed the entire thing, posted it online and littered it with ellipses and CAPITAL LETTERS of JUDGMENT~.

Near the end of the clip, Gronk stops dancing in favor of grabbing his friend by the waist and trying to gutwrench suplex him (or something). Here’s the video, with proper analysis to follow.

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It has been three days since the No. 2 Alabama Crimson Tide laid a hurtin’ on the No. 1 Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the BCS National Championship Game, and I already had to look up when the game was played just so I could write how many days it has been. Thanks to Notre Dame’s failure to show up – as well as the Internet generation’s lack of attention span – most of us can’t even remember the score of that forgettable game, because this week has been all about Miss Alabama USA Katherine Webb.

Webb, of course, is easy to remember, because she’s the attractive brunette who was sitting with Alabama QB AJ McCarron’s mom during the game, which caused Brent Musberger to say what half of America was thinking. (The other half, of course, ran to the Gawker comments section to call Webb ugly.) For her few moments of TV time, Webb gained more than 100,000 Twitter followers over night, to which Darren Rovell replied, “Hubba hubba.”

Naturally, TV networks and media outlets have been fawning over this relatively unknown beauty queen, because she’s the boo of the national champion QB – ol’ whatshisname, as I’m sure The View has called him – so she’s already made a few TV appearances to talk about this whirlwind week. Unfortunately, that’s all coming to an end, because Webb has canceled her remaining TV appearances and changed her phone number. I blame Darnell Dockett for that second part.

Thankfully, TMZ knows what’s really going on.

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In what we have dubbed one of our most important and biggest sports moment of 2012, and according to my team of hard-working fact-checkers, Austrian daredevil and Red Bull pimp Felix Baumgartner flew to the edge of the Earth, approximately 24 miles above the ground, and jumped from his tiny capsule to earn the title of the Craziest Bastard That You’ll See This Year. Baumgartner’s leap from space featured him breaking the sound barrier and reaching a speed of mach 1.24, so naturally he reached out to some experts before that fateful October day.

Specifically, Baumgartner sat down with astronaut legend Neil Armstrong to discuss the ins and outs of what it’s like to travel in space, and by our standards, they discussed possibly the second most important thing that anyone would need to know about being in space.

Felix — who jumped from the stratosphere during the Red Bull Stratos project — was in L.A. yesterday, and revealed that he met with astronaut Neil Armstrong before his October jump … and the topic of conversation was space-logs.

According to Felix, zero-gravity dumping is a serious issue … and Neil and other astronauts agree — you just don’t drop a deuce in space unless you absolutely have to. (Via TMZ)

After our last check-in with TMZ, I’m a little disappointed in the lack of innuendo. Space logs? Boring. I expected at least one Chocolate Rain reference. As for the most important thing that they could have discussed, it’s sex. Ain’t a dude out there about to travel to space who isn’t going to wonder if some green alien babe with three boobs might find him and need his help in repopulating her planet. Any astronaut that denies that thought is lying.

Check out Baumgartner’s description of what happens if he needs to make a peepee or a poopy after the jump.

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